Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Guppyhead Swims the English Chanelle
Way back in the halcyon days of HCwDB, we featured the Douchey Award winning The Blowfish. Tiny mouth. Creepy facial hair. Tasty hotts. Enormous douchefactor.
Here I decree the Guppyhead.
Count up the ‘bag factors: Creepy fishmouth. Faux. White sunglasses in shorts. ‘Roid addiction.
Then there’s English Chanelle. Curvy. Untatted. Slightly insecure about her looks. Maybe not A level hott, but more than making up for it by resisting the Guppy’s embrace. I’m going with it. She’s sorts of room service wrongness that’s oh so right. I slap a barnacle on a steamboat, and pinch a boobuous butt fondle in the snowflake sunshine of slappy slapp.
Nipple clevis’ for a new low.
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The Omega Douche
Guppyhead has nip rings.
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All the better to hook him up to the ’65 Dodge’s ignition system and redline the engine.
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Chanelle’s left boob will never be the same.
I show Mrs. Kroeger this stuff and she just can’t figure out why any woman would want to be that close to an impotent, sterile, moron with a self-esteem issue.
His bulging, brotein infused arm veins are going to rupture with just one more set of curls.
♫You’re so vein, you probably think this song is about you
You’re so vein, I’ll bet you think this song is about you
Don’t you? Don’t You?♫
He’s so roided out his fully erect peen is the size of an acorn.
Give him a break, he chews Kodiak, just like me. However, I can hit the outside breaking pitch
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Podsednicks
Magnum loves the slight sag reveal of Chanelle’s natural b-cups.
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Bag needs a barb wire tatt on the left arm and some lame, cliched saying scripted in tatt across his chest and he’s have the look completed.
Wow we have Guppyhead and earlier we had dancing fish and then Vin D shared some fish slapping and I invoked Fish Slap. I can almost smell Revere Beach at low tide through my monitor and that’s just English Chanelles gash channel.
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Pescadors
HGH is the new steroids.
Looks like Jeter has gone douche
I might shave my head tonight.
Does halcyon mean the same thing as relevant? My transpooter is broken or else I would look it up on Googles.
Nipple rings are the new tattoos.
Veins are the new abs.
smirk is the new smile.
White sunglasses where your manhood was is the new penis.
Who would trade their penis for a larger roided body?
Guppyhead is the new Explosive Diarrhea.
Mushy bottle blonds are the new mushy bottle blondes.
Swishy lips are the new cunt rag
Marty Brodeur is the new Donkey Douche
Chanelle causes me to question everything I know about female physiology. Do boobs belong in the front or under the arms? Should they be flat or round? Should the nipples point in the same direction? While Chanelle might have a tough time finding a bra, wearing a backpack must be a breeze.
Body dysmorphic disorder is the new self-confidence.
Phillip Phillips is the new American Idol.
I would like to write my name in yogurt cursive, 24 font, across English Chanelle’s loverly tummy area.
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With my Meat Pen.
I asked Sofa Queen to free associate this image, and the result was: phlegm, K-Y, Preparation H and porch beef. Not necessarily in that order.
He has to cover his chest in oil all the time. Otherwise his nipple rings squeak.
Guppyhead speaks all 17 dialects of Groo.
Yogurt Cursive is the new Comic Sans.
“Groo” is the new “Dy-no-MITE”
Rev Chad is the new Tommy Chong
DB1 is the new Ambrose Bierce
Armani Exchange is the new Chess King
Bovine Growth Hormone is the new Tang
Anal sex is the new third base.
@DW, so what’s home plate? Munging?