Monday, May 7, 2012
HCwDB of the Week: Orangudan and Vegas Kim
Last week was an epic week for orangeness.
I’d thought orangebaggery was fading along with distant memories of 2009 such as the odiousOrangina. But I was wrong.
We had Orangukevin and tasty Swedish Anya. We had the breaking news story of Burnt Umber Jerzey Mom.
On the nonorange spectrum we had the creepiness of The Yeeshasaurus and Sue-Kin-Chee. And the epic Pear, but possibly pro (and therefore disqualified Princess Pearielle and King Pooterface.
But nothing said Hot Chick with Douchebag unsettling atrocity quite like Orangudan and the tasty, if artificially inflated, Vegas Kim.
Chalk ’em for the next Monthly. And your itchy narrator for apple cinnamon instant oatmeal.
it looks like his gut tatt says “Brew Compost”. I’m sure he does, I’m sure he does. When he dies and goes to hell his punishment will be an eternity sucking Heidegger’s stanky nads.
Those bird shit tats are a good lesson in the use of negative space.
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Art 101
Never seen an orange dalmation before.
This douche is the reason you foreigners are not allowed to smoke ze doob in our shops anymore. Now you understand the reason for the new policy? It just takes one turd to spoil the milk. (Old Dutch expression.). You may still utilize our ovens however when testing the loyalty of your collective girlfriends. You’re welcome.
Dude wears a lampshade to keep the sun of his stupid head. Spot?
Do you think he thinks that crap on his left arm is representative of the actual bone structure of said arm? Do you think he thinks?
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Groo Grooooooooooo
“Horror Vacue” – fear of empty spaces in a painting, .
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.”Quelle horreur!” – Claude Monet’s first impression of Orangudan.
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.”The horror. The horror”. – Colonel Kurtz’ last words before seeking the sweet relief of an early death after seeing what hath become of the civilization he left behind.
Uncle Fester went douche my childhood of watching Nick at Night reruns is ruined! Ruined I says!!!
Watches himself slather on the oil in the hotel mirror, shaves his head one more time, flexes his biceps as he tries to read his tatts backwards , slips on the shades and thinks to himself, ” Check me the fuck out”….
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……….then he stubs his toe really hard, drawing blood, on the vanity table on his way out, plasma puddles on his instep as he looks down in horror, he feels faint, his senses going dull, he falls to the ground clutching his ankle above the wound and murmurs slowly, plaintiffly,…”mommy….”
BTW , did anyone else go see “The Avengers”? Fucking awesome for me and the boy, age 6.
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Now if I could get away and see the “Three Stooges” my summer movie viewing would be complete.
Which Mara sister is hotter, Kate or Rooney? Don’t think about their bank accounts
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Kate:
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Rooney:
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Kate or Rooney? yes.
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I have to pick one? I’ll go with Rooney’s eyes FTW. And by win I mean I can be happy as a kept man.
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However, ORANGUDAN FTL. And by loss, I mean poo. And a loss to Sleepy McDouchebag of Clan McDouchebag.
When he wipes, it leaves a comic strip on the TP.
The wife and I went to see “The Avengers” on Sunday.
Great way to spend a rainy afternoon.
Movie was way better than I expected. The wife thought it was a good movie.
Two thumbs up from Casa La Douche.
Ah,the color of urine. A giant piss stain,when you have in infection in your urinary tract. That’s a beautiful color. That and ugly tatts,man you’re Hollywood ready.
Is it possible these guys won only because of her tits?
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Just askin’.