Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Friday Thoughts and Links

Cabanabags.

They taste just like chicken.

Like record-setting fist pumping, it leaves a stain on both asphalt and culture.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “A strange man defecated on my sister.”

Remember kids, if ya wanna help support HCwDB and you’re planning on buying stuff on Amazon, click through the Amazon links on the site before navigating to your items and buying them. It don’t cost nuthin’, and it helps pay for the site.

Long time HCwDB nemesis, The Mayerbag, may be growdsing up after all. Nah. He’s still a douche. Now a douche with botoxed vocal cords..

Douchebags at a rave killed two dolphins with a heroin substitute. No, seriously.

Remember in Swingers when Mikey complained that Tarantino bites everything from Scorsese? Turns out, Tarantino also bites things from 1976 Sonny Chiba Films.

Pop culture therapist pens article explaining why hot chicks don’t like nice guys. Unwittingly explains why no one likes pop culture therapists.

The great Bill Hicks explains why your children aren’t special.

Speaking of great 80s comics who died too young: Kinison.

In the land of the internet, the doucheface “Brogrammer” is King.

No, seriously. Brogrammers explained via URC. A whole new subspecies to be mocked as much as possible.

Morgan Spurlock’s new documentary examines the douchebag phenomenon.

Ayn Rand Explained in One Title.

But you are not here to laugh at just how badly libertarians need to pretend they’re intellectuals. You are here for Pear:

Pearverload

Too much? Okay, how’s about

Pull-Up Pear

They might not beat Wednesday’s Pear Party, but they’s enough to get us through a Friday.

Artbags

Artbags.

Still out there.

Still annoyed by the mid 1960s turn from abstract expressionism to postmodern figurative collage.

Friday Haiku

Showers, dignity,

Häwk can live without.

Turds of a feather

Float together, Billy Ray’s

Son spreads douche virus

— Capt. James T. Douche

His bumper sticker

Says. “My other tattoo is bad

Chinese wallpaper.”

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

If you take away

Tatts and hot Asian girlfriend

Dull white guy remains

— Mrs. Nuttersquirt

The tears of a clown

Mix with hot asian lotion

To form pinkish film

— saulgoode42

Bozo Bartholomew Tests 'Bag / 'Nottabag

Spikey hair at the pool, perhaps, but that’s about it. Genial attitude, laid back presence, and lack of garish tatts and adoucherements are commend-worthy.

I’m inclined to go with a Notta and a goinpeace for Bozo Bartholomew. There’s just not enough ooblek to convict.

Sexy Suburban Shelley is hard to read, but she’s scoring a solid 86% positive on Hotten Tomatoes.

Uck Him

Subtlety, thy name is not t-shirt.

Doggie 'Baggin' Lives On

Still out there.

Still a perplexing decision when deciding how to pose for a photograph.

What next, culture? Congress of Cow?

Something Went Terribly Wrong with This Gentleman's Head, Hair, Arms, and Upper Chest Area

And by gentleman, I mean Shoescrape of Choadscrote.

Katherine and her bestie, Tori, like to powder each other’s bottoms in the cloakroom with chalk dust and a powder puff from the 19th Century.

And by bottoms, I mean butts.

Screw This Crap, Pear Party!

Pear

Pear

Pear

Esoteric Wednesday: Flyteeth Gets Down

Fly.

Arm Tissue

I would expect nothing less at the Omaha Nebraska Shriner Club’s annual “Baldness and Porn” party, held every May. Be sure to buy a raffle ticket! Kathie Sue’s pies ain’t gonna eat themselves.

And by pies, I mean vageen.