Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

HCwDB Self Portraits: A Consequence of Technology

As humanity reacts to the rapidly developing technological age, there are many wondrous facets of development that incur.

New forms of interactivity.

Exciting modes of communication and representation that produce new iterations of identity grounded not in the physical, but in the imagined and spectral.

New networks of information no longer bound by region or language. Mirrors of tangential connection in the virtual spectrum. A buzzing and alive network of collective thought refracting shards of ideas and fragments in channels of a-chronological and disassembled pathways.

New avenues of thinking open up. A revolution of idea and concept.

And, of course, douchey self-portraits in mirrors. A sub-strata of the need to validate the real through the virtual in Debord’s society of the spectacle.

The Putzshmuck Hits on Daria

As the great Lenny Bruce once said, “Hey! What’s with this putzshmuck hitting on Daria?”

I’m paraphrasing, of course.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall…

Who’s the something something with hot chicks of them all?

I know what you need.

Some ass pear ass pear.

Reader Mail: Stalkin' Stokke

Reader Mr. Biggs writes in to let us know he’s off in search of suckle Semitic pole vaulter, Alison Stokke.

———–

Going to Eugene for the olympic track trials!

– Mr. Biggs

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Of whither toned bod there is no finer.

One Word Tuesday

Spewchart.

'Bag Sandwich: Celebrity Wannabe Edition

What happens when a Ryan Seacrest looking douchebag and D.J. Cornholio decide to crunch Giggle Gigi in a ‘Bag Sandwich formation?

Well, nothing.

Nothing really happens.

Except they get mocked on HCwDB. And the DB1 sips a tasty Mr. Pibb and sighs quietly.

Antler Horns For the Win

It’s like nature and happenstance giving the bunny ears to a douchebag as per the collective unconscious.

The DB1 Spewcharts

Let me recap my last five minutes.

I enjoyed two tasty Hostess HoHos with a glass of milk. Seeing as Hostess may be bankrupting their tasty snack cakes into the dustbin of history, I have been doing double-duty on my processed treat consumption.

Then I viewed this pic.

And immediately spewcharted HoHo crumbs, milk, and drool across my computer, accompanied by the noise, “Baloggooo.”

What’s a “spewchart”? It’s like a shart and a spit-take mixed into one. But only if it causes you to say “Baloggoo” in process.

That’s what douchetatts, hand gesture, and a picture of American rot’ll do to a guy’s post lunch mid-afternoon snack cake break.

Caption This Pic

“Well, this is hawkward.”

The Brobot May or May Not Approve of the HCwDB of the Week

The Brobot doesn’t easily express emotions.

It’s because of his distant father, Germanic background, and lack of emotional programming beneath his many douche scarves.

Yup, February’s HCwDB of the Week winning moobster is still out there. Still robotically hitting on the hotts.

It’s enough to give a ferret angina.

But Kelly Minx offers supple boobal curve spankle dwarf rhesus fondle.