Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

HCwDB of the Week: The Voguegina and Furry Amanda

Last week saw plenty of noxious toxicity wrapped in a piece of bacon.

There were Muscles McEuro and Joey Brolin looking boobs. There were pudgy ‘Baglings, Herpster Taint, and creepy Ukranians.

There was HarvestHead, and even RoboBro and Miley Cyrus Hott.

But what can match creepily angular doucheface, douche hand gesture #512, and furry kitten boobosity, together at 2pm on the deck of the Princess Carnival Cruise Line?

I thought not.

Kittern herpster hotts are also obnoxious, I grant you that. Furry Amanda is not clean. But, as counterweight to that point, I offer you natural boobs.

Exactly.

Chalk up our last entrant in the next HCwDB of the Month, and your humble narrator for instant oatmeal.

"Scumbag Steve" Reminds me why I Left Boston

Massholes for the societal loss.

Comment of the Week: Morbo

A short but brief complaint about unusual boobery in the Earwigs thread wins Morbo the coveted Comment of the Week:

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Weird-shaped Boob Week continues at HCwDB. If we couldn’t see so much top boob, I’d swear she had a Nerf Turbo football shoved in her shirt.

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I’ll tell you what isn’t weird-boobery. Miley Cyrus Older Sister Hott here.

And I’ll tell you what has two thumbs and is a douchebag. That guy.

Friday Thoughts and Links

A longtime reader just sent me this pic, which he found in a folder he’d set aside for HCwDB back in the halcyon days of 2006. A classic-era douchebag runnin’ with the Goose. Unironically. A hot chick corrupted by Goose Runnin’.

Oh the days when the mock was new and the “game” was still seen as literature.

But there is still so much to be done. Especially when Herpsters crowd beer ads and Ed Hardy continues its biological contagion spread across the Wal-Marts of America.

And the Wal-Marts of my soul

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Classic Rock CD Pick of the Week: “Big Sky looks down on all the people who think they got problems… They get depressed and they hold their head in their hands and cry…

But the Big Sky is too big to sympathize.”

Your humble narrator needs bail money

I hope the missing Fox Studios exec is okay and all, but what’s with the orangeness?

Herpster Suck. Reason #43 I moved out of Los Feliz last year.

As a Pats fan for life, it makes me very sad to bring you this. But it is my duty and my obligation: Bradyhawk.

Speaking of doucheyhair, where do annoying herpster practitioners of “dubstep” go for hair inspiration? Llama.

Hair Abs. Over six years running this site, thousands of pics seen that cannot be unseen, but that was a first. Lets hope it’s a last.

Whenever you get depressed about a world filled with insanity, remember, it’s also a world that produced Sifl and Olly.

What happens when a kitchen brush has a fauxhawk? Should we grant a Plate Scouring Leniency Exemption?

But you are not here for douchey kitchen appliances. You are here for Pear. And today, you get not one but two Pear desserts:

Tighty Peary.

Not enough? Then enjoy some

Pouty Rock Pear

And if that don’t satiate your pear needs, then I don’t know what.

Somewhere in Dusseldorf…

Autobahn is opening for Kraftwerk…

Friday Haiku

Adams Family

New Clothing Line for ‘bag/bleethes:

Tickle Me Fail-More

Satanic dentist

Needs two lovely assistants

To scrub off his chest

— saulgoode42

Wings of Death dripping

with blood? No; sweaty chest made

Crayola runny.

— Douche Wayne

Hunting for vampires

Turns on hots. Van Helsing has

Bag of silver d*ldos.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Cosmetology

School Grads **CUT** loose on grad night.

Eight weeks was killer!

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

Vlad the Impaler

Has used his tool on these bleeths

It burns when he pees.

— Doucheywallnuts

How can we live in

A world where gothy Harlow

Wears McDonald’s wig?

— Nancy Dreuche

Rejected actors

From Von Goolo Halloween

Start own show, “Dullards”

— Vin Douchal

The Gloumpa Gets Lucky

Gloumpas need love, too.

Three People Not really Worth Getting to Know

Lets move on.

The Choadal Nachos Bother Librarian Ellie

I’m at the point of throwing my librarian fetish into the dustbin of history.

That place where discarded former boobie hottie suckle thigh hotttributes

reside.

Like when I had that thing for thong reveal back in 2000 before Christina Aguilera made me never want to eat ham soup again.

Or my deep pre-pubescent childhood attraction to women who wore tons of eye makeup and red cheekbone rouge after seeing Michelle Pfeiffer in “Into the Night” on HBO in 1987.

Yup. The herpsters are killing my librarian glasses fetish. This is not a good development.

What a Childhood Birthday Party Looks like to an Acid Tree Frog

Acid Tree Frogs see the world in very unusual ways.