Friday, July 27, 2012
Reader Mail: Harry Palmerbag Laments a Bartender Hott
I received this cryptic email in my in-box this morning:
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I am concerned for the soul of Rockhell, my bikini bartender/hot center of my empty universe. She is a fan if Jersey Shore and douche cilture. I blame society. My soul is wearing thin like an Corono bikini bottom.
Yours (by that I mean hers)
– Harry PalmerBag
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Who knows how many hearts this mysterious “Rockhell” bikini bartender hath broken.
What I do know is that “Corono” bikini bottoms speak to us all. Even those with limited spelling ability.
DB1, I can only hope Harry Palmerbag woke up from his drunken stupor this morning, sees this and realized he should not email you when intoxicated and distraught over a bleeth bartender. Another life lesson learned, compliments of HCWDB. Praise the lord.
“She is a fan if Jersey Shore and douche cilture.” I thought it was CLITure the first time I read it. I was wondering what his problem was but then I had some coffee. Poor dumb bastard seems to need some too.
Oh, come on! How hard can this chick be to pick up? Just look at her – there’s no way her IQ transcends the ability to comprehend a traffic light.
Harry should be able to get her to give him some skull with 10-15 minutes of effort.
At first I thought “Rockhell” was a clever play on words. Then I read the rest of the e-mail.
She looks expensive and disinterested.
I me I wont to keel tha gey Guess twinns. Sone@
Hairy Palm(er). Tha’s funn1 Son in a criptik way. San.
Was this email kinda sticky when you got it Boss?
Sounds like a drunk email.
.
Not that I’ve been there. No, sir.
.
Rockhell and her bikini would be awful for my liver.
It’s expected. The price of extended hottie/douchebag commingling is the collective scrambling of humanity’s brains.
To put it another way, every time a hottie and a douchebag achieve coitus, another schizophrenic shoots up a theater.
I never worried about the souls of any dames I was bangin’. Na mean? Who cares what TV show she watches? I once banged a dame whilst she was watching a Jerry Vale special. Jerry Vale, I says!
That’s probably Harry and his bro, Dick Palmer, in the pic with her.
Nicely said, Wheeze!
Fuck! I need a post-it note to remind me to pay attention to the post-it note strapped to my screen saying “Hey dummy! Have you signed in?”
Two faggots and their pre op tranny buddy.