Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Ask DB1: The "Pro" Headphones Display
FlipFriddle writes in:
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FlipFriddle here. Another thing to ponder: lately at the private university where I work I’ve been noticing many of the trust-fund scrotes wearing obnoxious, huge, white or garishly colored headphones plugged into their displayed iPhones or hidden brown Zunes.
Sort of like they are mobile DJ taints bopping to their jams. Wearing these stupid things
seems to me to incur auto-douche.
What do you think? I’m sorry I don’t have any pics of said douches and possibly private school hotts.
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Autochoad.
So let it be written. So let it be done.
And I couldn’t find a pic to go with this letter, either. So here’s a nerdchoad showing a tattoo that was, and is, highly unnecessary.
Rapper branded headphones are so last year. I’ve seen dorky old geezers doing that slow jog that is ironically slower than walking while wearing giant Dr. Geh headphones. It’s only a matter of time before Adele slaps her big fat name on a cheap pair of Koss headphones just to demonstrate to the universe that god hates us and wants us to suffer.
Better (worse) than walking around with the over-sized Choad Phones is these same idiots working out wearing them. We can thank Dr. Dre for this.
Auto-Dipshit.
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Good for flying in the plane though, them Beats drown out all the crap going on around me so I can zone out in a vicodin and Pink Floyd haze
BTW, Monster Cables, the ridiculously overpriced cables sold at big box stores to people who don’t know where to get reasonably priced quality cables, contributes to universal entropy and the eventual heat death of the universe by putting both a Monster and a Dr. Dre markup on these mediocre headphones. They gots the mega base… which is to say muddy distortion.
One of the motivators of douche behavior is the acquisition of utterly unnecessary material objects for the purpose of peacockery. Of course, the more unreasonably marked-up these accouterments are, the more they suit the goal of these trust-fund thousandaires, which is to put on an air of opulent wealth which they freely cast away. Why? Because nothing masses whores like the jing-a-ling sound of an easy mark throwing coppers.
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Once the douche has sold enough weed/worked enough shifts at Carl’s Jr. to acquire these slut touchstones then above all he must PUT THESE ON DISPLAY. This is my theory behind the morons walking around with their pants puddled around their shuffling ankles, like members of an invisible chain gang. Yo, Son; I’ma get me some Versace…but alas the only item within his reach in the Versace store is a $300 pair of underwear. Purchase Made, Ass Displayed.
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Add to the garish gear a bright red pair of $15 can-style headphones, marked up to $200 because it bears a rapper’s badge.
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Let us hope Versace never makes cock rings.
It is the law in California that overweight businessmen must carry a pair of Bose headphones and a neck pillow with them on any flight. Failure to produce your headphones or pillow can result in a immediate double fisting by a TSA officer. That’s why there is a Brookstone in every airport.
RE: Monster Cables
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If you play your guitar a lot , cables, strings, mic cords etc are always going out. Gear is gear, you toss it out and get another. I love these dudes that lament their $12 patch cord going out….. That’s why Monster cables are worth the extra money. If they go out you walk into ANYPLACE that carries them and they hand you new ones.
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BTW best headphones for studio applications are Sony MDR series. Fuck Bose- them POS have no bottom end.
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I gots me tons of these things. Ultimately, there are no headphones better for just listening to the iPod than those Beats. Sorry, fellers, it’s a good product despite the Douchebag level they’ve achieved
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Klipsch, TDK, Sennheisser notwithstanding
The little virus-bags where I work prefer these which are just as irritating. And I know that when I hit the range next I’m sure to see some fuck-wit wearing them as hearing protection as he blasting away with a Glock while dancing around in his lane to some god-awful shit on his iPod.
These little fuccers are the best earbuds I’ve ever had: TDK Little Fuccers
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It’s like the “Gadget Gary Show” around here today
I’m down with this guy:
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“C’mon, son!”
Oh, and people who listen through earbuds and headphones are idiots, ruining their hearing.
What? Speak up!!!
@ Troy
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Are these guys idiots? They’re wearing headphones. No, they are idiots for wearing astronaut outfits. Still kick ass, though
Does make you yearn for the pre-electronic crapola age :
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Roy Smeck monster Ukulele
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Seriously, check that bad ass out^
Also, the hand of the collective unconscious offers us a drink for our troubles. Good on ya, HotCU.
The local record store where I do my shopping is plagued with little douchebags that come in proudly displaying their closed ear headphones around their neck. Some of them are even so brazen as to think the rest of us want to hear the dubstep or whatever the fuck kids under 20 listen to these days and have their volume turned up while they browse the bins. Anyone who leaves the house with headphones that big deserves our collective mock.
Only douchebags who must display 300 dollar “wealth” need to display them without using them. I for one, use them,when I’m actually listening to music,or when I was doing radio. Rappers like bling accessories and contribute to douchebag culture way too much.
Sennheiser ftw, Bose does a kick ass job of eliminating background noise, they just suck at not screwing up the sound of the music.
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/dr+dre+beats.+annoying+as+fuck_9f6622_3389695.jpg
@ Vin Douchal: Fa-Fa Fo Hi.
Son.
Oh, and thanks for answering DB1. Fight on!