Monday, October 29, 2012
Jenny from the Boat Upgrades to Coors
Just like Jenny from the Boat upgraded her latest herp partner from Billy (not pictured) to Marty McJesusneck.
Do not ask about Billy.
No one asks about Billy.
Not since the linguini incident.
We’re prepared for Hurricane Sandy, we’ve pooled our money and have two cases of Coors
“Only God Shall Judge” Na, we’ll judge you too. You are a complete and utter fuckin tool.
His neck can turn lake water into Coors.
.
.
.
.
.
believers
Billy will soon have another banner (just below the one on his “chest”) that reads, “Paid For All This Ink”
He needs another tat that says “I don’t get diarrhea from the clear mountain juice unless it’s diet.”
It is very windy across the river from Up-Upstate NY in the good and Holy Canada. Never go to Up-Upstate NY unless you want to see mixed race Irish-Aboriginal-Dutch squalor and meth labs. Son.
I think, and this is really a guess because the ink is done soooooo poorly, that the tat between the two “doves” says “Mom & Dad”. Which, given that Marty has seen fit to squander his parent’s hard earned wealth lovingly deposited in his college fund on poorly scrawled body art, beer, and blow, is an appropriate show of appreciation and love.
.
If you’re a sack of shit.
And by “Up-Upstate NY” the good Reverend means Quebec’s southern ‘burbs.
That there is some dirty bleethy goodness. Bleethy goodness, I says. Not all the storm surge that Hurricane Sandy can muster could wash away the filth that encrusts Jenny’s undercarriage.
.
Also, if Hurricane Sandy is a guy, I nominate it for the monthly.
.
Seamen
Coors is not a guaranteed prophylaxis against giardia or hep A from poopy lake water but it has been known to cause gonorrhea via poor decision making.
Skankarella Pooville discovers yet another use for her cleavage this morning: beer koozie.
Is it me or does he look like he’s already sick of her shit too?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Blessed are the cheesemakers.
Finally got some time to watch the World Series last night and decided to create this:
[I may very well have fucked up this pic embedding shit- first time trying this]
^yup- fucked it up
http://t.qkme.me/3rjx2v.jpg
Why do I have a feeling that Coors can, once emptied will be blackend by the carbon scoring of crystal meth?
Ducks often have ample breast meat.
When Jesus returns, this kind of shit is gonna’ really piss him off.
Hey Boss,
You been listenin’ to some of this?
.
.
Or are you listenin’ to this CD?
.
.
Either way, lots of good music in there.
Jenny brings several adjectives to mind:
.
* Ample
* Natural
* Fecund
* Infected
.
It’s nice that she is not tattooed, maybe she’s actually not really that bad of a girl. Naaaaah…
.
Someday this guy or someone who looks like him will be a member of the US House of Representatives. FACT.
Jenny looks like the kinda chick who would criticise you in the sack if you didn’t bring your A game. I don’t need that kind of pressure.
Ye Gods, how I would just sink my teeth into succulent Jenny……..
Feel sorry for the guy with the giant mold patch on his neck, and the green algae growing over other parts of his rotting corpse. Goes to show ya, though, that even zombies want to be around Jenny.
Jenny, I desire you……..yyyyyuuuuummmmm………
The expression on Jesus face is classic. “I died for their sins and now I’m stuck to this guy’s neck forever.” It will be interpreted as a miracle in several years when Jesus starts moving down the side of his body trying to escape. That or old age. Keep tanning, Marty.
Seven hours, more than 20 comments and not one motorboat joke about the twin 350-horsepower Evinrudes sitting on Jenny’s chest?
This place is slipping.
To Jenny, “Eastbound and Down” isn’t just a catchy song from the 70s. It’s how she pays her way tuition to Virginia College, where she’s only two classes away from earning that medical records degree.
I think that’s Johnny Depp tatted on his neck.
Looks more like a neck wound than a tattoo. Disfigured douches are easy to spot and shoot. So there’s a secret beauty to this.
Good God, I love this place!
Jenny reminds that chick on TV with 8 kids, whatever her name was, Kate with eight, or some sh1t. Yeah, that chick made my skin crawl. Her husband was a douche, but I thought good for him when he dropped her.
.
Billy’s got that same look on his face, like he’s itching to get out of this relationship. He’s a bag, no doubt, with tattoos that look like the crayon drawings hanging on my refrigerator, but I’m pulling for him to make the break. Just like that dude did with Kate.
From afar, the neck tatt looks like Bob Marley.
And, honey, the Scissor Gang Mafia thing is old fuckin’ news…