Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Boaty Bobby Voted…
And lookit that! Adonai rewarded him with a Sephardic eight-pack of pear.
The same thing could happen to you if you vote!
Okay, enough civic duty crap.
Lets Pear out with some Vegas Asianic Pear.
That’s what I’m talkin’ about on vote day.
All in favor of voting Bobby off the boat, say aye!
.
Aye!
That’s a big boat.
.
And some fine ass.
All in favor of tossing Bobby off the boat tied to the anchor, say aye!
.
Aye!
I vote yes for pear, no for Boaty Bob. And no for everything else.
Bobby just gerrymandered all over his board shorts.
.
That boat has some fine fenders.
The girls are suffering from “boater suppression”.
DB1 has done his civic duty. And by civic duty I mean 10 beautious gluteus maximii. Fuck I wish I could get drunk and go pull one of them fancy handles youse got in your voting booths. All we got is a post-it note paper check box system, but it works. Almost.
.
Democrats
The world’s longest index finger knows where the action is.
Mutiny on the Booty
Glutiator
Das Booty
Hott on the far left considers anal to be foreplay.
In honor of election day I’m going to vote to give Boaty Bobby a notta pass. Looks like a guy who realized blowing a months pay on the boat rental was worth it. And I’d probably gerrymander in my shorts also if I was surrounded by a caucus of fine thick booty like that.
Throw the little man in the boat overboard!
Is that Gilligan Largeman’s hand holding a cocktail on the left, there?
I would shave my scrotum with a lady Bic disposable, coat it in peanut butter and birdseed, and dangle my unprotected tender works into a birdcage filled with starving woodpeckers just for the chance to rest my head on the slightly warm leather seat where one of those arses sat 5 minutes earlier.
This isn’t Boater Bobby. It’s the hottest new rapper Arkan Sas. That white boy can rip it!
What happens in Vegas Pear’s butt stays in Vegas Pear’s butt.
.
And I want to stay in her butt.
Reverend Chad – You crazy drunk bastard, you’re thinking of quarter slots at a Casino.
.
Although to be fair about 10% of Biloxian’s votes are not counted because they stagger drunk into the casinos and vote on a nickel slot machine.
Fuck this. I quit. I’m immediately leaving work to wax my chest, sculpt my beard into some Maori shit, douse myself in Axe, tear my jeans, get an Affliction shirt and grease my hair into a fauxhawk if it means I get to cavort on a boat with ass pear like that.
It’s been real, dudes.
Albanian Bobby’s people smuggling operation really picked up after he discovered the Kardashian mother lode.
2012 version of Herod and his babes in “Jesus Christ Superstar.” The more things change the more things stay the same.