Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Sheila's Mamms and Ricky's Tongueface Vie For Your Attention

Which will win?

HCwDB Gets a New Sponsor!

The following email just came in:

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Hello Editor,

Thanks

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Seems legit. What could go wrong?

Peter Pumpin'head Abs Abby in the Pre-Inflation Days

Rumor has it that legendary cloud Peter Pumpin’head was once human.

A very douchey human.

But human nonetheless.

The Purplippia

Amanda and her bestie, Amanda, like to call themselves the Mandy Twins.

Their giggles sound like autotuned angels singing Philip Glass.

The Purplippia’s violations are deep and incommensurate with a God-like universe. Or, as the kids might say, Satan took a dump on the Torah.

Yup. Got nuthin’.

Where’s my damn socks.

One Word Tuesday

Carrion.

Mutanto The Bug-Eye Freak Hugs Your Sister

That’s just not right.

And by “sister” I mean your hot friend with occasional benefits (office parties and national holidays) whose day job is in accounting but secretly is into the freaky-deaky role play.

Marty McFluffer Goes Boob to the Future

GREAT SCOTT!!

Is that a pleather life preserver?

Mayor Goldie Wilson’s not impressed.

Mitch Dillon Grasps at Fame

Unlike his far more famous brothers Matt and Kevin Dillon, Mitch Dillon does the best he can.

Acting classes and whatnot.

Mitch is sure that his life would’ve been different if Deep Space Nine had called back.

Norbert McWhistle is Old Enough to Drink

Now if only Norbert can prevent his voice from cracking for the next twenty minutes while he, Stephanie and Rachel discuss the merits of Katniss Everdeen, he’s totally in.

Norbert’s sure of it.

Well, maybe not so sure.

But the guy in Jamaica said the Lucky Horseshoe necklace was, like, Rasta Spanish Fly.

HCwDB of the Week: Gary Moldman and Vegas Bethany

Last week had lots of craziness goin’ on roun’ aboutst these parts.

There was the election-day Grieco/DB1 exchange.

Peter Pumpin’head continued to inflate.

There was Israeli Etan, you feel him bro?

There was the boobulous Hurricane Sandy and Herpster Van.

And serious HCwDB of the Year candidate Benzino bit a pear.

But none impersonated HCwDB at its most crystalline quite like the Oldie Moldman and Vegas Bethany.

See their asses in the last Monthly before the Yearly.

And your humb narrs for Frosted Mini Wheat goodness.