Friday, April 12, 2013
Friday Haiku
“You wanna screw for
that nut?”, Todd joked…No, but she’ll
Screw for an iPad.
STD spreaders
public funds pay for your fun
which way to clinic
— Bag em, Tag em
He puts the screw in
The basket without a wrench
The Purple Flesh Wrench
— DoucheyWallnuts
For copulation
Needs WD-40
And a screwdriver
— DoucheyWallnuts
This coupling won’t work,
Unless he’s on the bottom,
And she’s a spinner.
— hermit
His hair turned to snakes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Sometimes she feels like
A nut. Sometimes she don’t. I’d
Chew her Almond Joy.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The ‘bag got screwed and
The Hott is askin’ for it
It’s Friday Tool Time.
Wow, Sammy Hagar
Has really hit the skids since
Van Halen dumped him
Hot dogs and donuts
are almost as juvenile
as nuts and screwbags.
Former Korn member
fails with metal for Jebus;
shills to support braids.
“I have to have that
costume it is SO clever!”
said no one ever.
I guess they had to
do SOMETHING with rejected
Ron Jeremy molds.
enlarged genitals
that is what you get, when you
pee in a horse…….once
STD spreaders
public funds pay for your fun
which way to clinic
Corn Row Douche Todd Wears
The Universal Symbol
For Bunghole bang boy
Sara deceives Todd
I’ll meet you at the party
No Show Todd gets screwed
Stretched labia are
Called bat wings in urban slang
Sara has wing nut
I would bust her nut
With my Usain-sized Bolt and
monkeyhole play too!
She has loved to bang
Since the Silver Screw was put
Into her Bolt Hole
He puts the screw in
The basket without a wrench
The Purple Flesh Wrench
For copulation
Needs WD-40
And a screwdriver
She’s on the rebound
Last boyfriend was pop rivet
Left her for bent nail
Helicopter sex
Without a stabilizer
Gets pretty choppy
We are so stupid
These costumes are so stupid
Please kill us both now
Dread-locked tool wonders
Where’s the other Matrix Twin?
Keanu Reems Bleeth
This coupling won’t work,
Unless he’s on the bottom,
And she’s a spinner.
This dude won’t get laid
Since the day the “nutty” blonde,
Lost her monkey wrench
Edit:
^ this dude ain’t been laid……
Fuck wordpress
His hair turned to snakes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Home Depot now sells
Metal hex shaped Monkey Holes
Black and Decker weep
I’d twist her nut with
My titanium flesh wrench and
Whack her with ball Peen.
Insert to help out
Horribly stretched out pussy
Like herpster ear plugs
I’d eat her estrus
Flow through a pubic straw and
Earn my “red wings”, Son.
Dreadlocked wiggah douche
Can now state on internet
“I peed in a screw”
Her galvanized Mons
Veneris gives me the chills.
I’m weepsterbating.
Her farts smell like beans
Her breath, of day old sushi
Her pussy, pipe dope
I’d electroplate
Her steel cooter with my flesh
Powder coating tool.
MRI device
Looks for STDs pre-sex
Works in front and rear
Sometimes she feels like
A nut. Sometimes she don’t. I’d
Chew her Almond Joy.
After she gets her nut
Plowed. Her uterus smells like
Tinny tuna melts.
I’d watch these two fuck
If that was vice grips instead
Watch douche howl in pain
These two model parts
From IKEA “VITTSJÖ” tray
Will assemble wrong
Jill wanted bolt ons
The plastic kind, not metal
PB Nut Buster
She’s got world’s largest
chastity belt; Let’s all pray
like hell that it works
Bolt Upright aims wrong
Turns Trish around and puts in
Her cold Monkey Hole
dreadlocked Aswipe was
never the same since Skinny
delivered an ass punch.
When the party ends
They go home and switch costumes
He wears it backwards
That’s no Ham Wallet
It’s a Galvanized Poon Tang
Galvanized, I says
New advertising
Campaign for new chain of stores;
No-Value Hardware
Showed up late today
Regs used up all the good lines
I’m ready for pear
Subtle Halloweens
are a thing of the past, if
you invite these two.