Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Guy With Oversized Pink Hat Guy Scores Kelly and Ashley
Kelly and Ashley will drain your pocketbook on a first date faster than you can order the specialty rice wine at Sushi Roku.
And you’ll thank them and pray for a spanking.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when a camera is pointed in their direction.
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.Stieglitzs
Kelly and Ashley only smile when they’re spending your money.
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.Warbucks
Kelly and Ashley only smile when they think their little black dresses fit them “just right!”
Kelly and Ashley only smile if they get a glimpse of Pit Bull or anyone with the last name of “Kardashian,”
Kelly and Ashley only smile if no really icky guys are trying to talk to them.
Kelly and Ashley only smile if you make them believe you really think they are natural blondes.
Kelly and Ashley only smile if they approve of the car you drive.
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.Holy Motors
Kelly and Ashley only smile if the chlamydia test came back negative.
Kelly and Ashley only smile if they see a Jesus-sized cock and it’s attached to a Moses-sized tool.
Kelly and Ashley only smile during foreplay; once you stick it in they get worried about what they’re supposed to do next.
This picture reminds me a the time that I walked in on Red Buttons when he was Chowin’ Box on Ethel Merman and Delores DelRio. Chowin’ Box, I says. That Buttons was a real Head Monster and he had all he could handle with those two dames. He was pickin’ Gabiles outta his teeth for days after that one.
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These here dames is much better lookin’, though.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when you whip out the American Express Platinum Card®.
Young & Reckless ? I was thinking more Old & Feckless.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when they get lashed with my weed. They only coo when I put my Jesus-sized wand in their Diagon Alleys. Son. And Huffinpuff for three points.
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I’m already drunk after helping Pops Kroeger install some new lights. Time for me to roll up some Blonde Hagrid and get stooooned, cause Mrs. is working my brain to hard. Is a 5% increase in business in three months that bad? I say no and raise myself one Bellatrix Lestrange. And by Lestrange I the La Grange. And by La Grange I mean.
They got some good sales t the OntaRio FRIDGE , home depot, FRENCH DOORS ONLY $1098STAZIN. oops. Fucking Chinese-made by Human Sandsbags. I give you 5 dollar. I’m debating buzzed Son. Stooned. Whoooo! Shotgun.
and .
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Stooooooned
I love that even in his most stooooooooned state Rev thinks to share with us. It makes my Wednesday Night Makers Marks pale in comparison.
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Watching the James Bond marathon on Epix and realizing that a man wearing a turquoise terry cloth beach cover-up is gay even if it’s Sean Connery (Goldfinger) and that Nancy Sinatra could give head better than she could sing (You Only Live Twice).
I’m wasted, Son. Get to sleep in till 10am tomorrow Son. Like the old days. And shit.
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I was thinking about Laura Secord, heroine of the Canadian/ British side of the stupid War Of 1812 (respect) , today and remembered that it is not our state or province, or territory or nation that unite us all as men of the world, it;’s the historical misrepresentation of most bellicose human acts that have put in in this state of state and statute of statutes, both in commoditory and exemplary virtues in the Christian or Agnost
Most Expensive First Date(s)
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3-ways
That man is a liar.
Reporting in from hotter than hell Delhi, where the dudes have gelled up DB hair and the chicks have red dots on their foreheads (I can deal with that).
Need to get me one of ‘dem hats…yo!
Kelly and Ashley only smile when it’s raining yogurt.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when they see that the check has cleared.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when the recognize your zip code as being “appropriate”.
Kelly and Ashley only smile when you order the Crystal.
…my only hope is that they empty my sac faster than my wallet
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high rollerz