Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Kelly and Fratbros Bob and Joe Are Vaguely Familiar with Mexico
Because, once when they were visiting California to go to Disney Land, they ate at a Poquito Mas.
Kelly ordered the fish tacos.
Fratbro Bob then made a joke that linked the concept of the fish taco to Kelly’s nethers.
Kelly giggled politely.
Fratbro Joe, who on one of my more generous days might earn a nottadouche simply said, “Word.”
Word indeed, Fratbro Joe.
Word indeed.
Due to years and years of habitual masturbation fratbro Bob is unable to unclench his hands. Medical fact.
Kelly’s mother taught her that you don’t have to have large breasts if you have a good personality.
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This story is true if you replace “have a good personality” with “are willing to do ATM” and “mother” with “porn agent”
Just to let you know, if you give the finger during the photo snap on Splash Mountain, it won’t show up on the screens outside the ride…how do I know? Fuck you
I would walk barefoot and bare-chested through an agave field in mid-August whilst intestinal leeches bore holes through my exposed soles and la cucarachas infested my ragged and torn trousers just to lick the bottom of Kelly’s toes and clean her navel with a tequila-flecked q-tip as she cooed playfully through her English translation of La Bamba.
.
.
Lobos
If you saw her in a photo without these two choads, you would think Kelly is one of those bright faced, natural blonde beauties who you expect to give fantastic road head, know the top stories on SportCenter, order intelligently off of a wine list in a 5-star restaurant and make this otherworldly sound when she comes, and as a result, will meet a hedge fund manager who would give her a mansion, cars and a yacht.
.
In reality, she will stick with one of these two Momos, get pregnant and then dumped and wind up working at a local waffle and pancake house – not even IHOP – whilst trying to raise her kid as a single mom. She will drink and smoke and live in a trailer park somewhere in Shitsville, USA begging for the attention of any guy who she can get to look at her.
Ah….DoucheyWallnuts….would that it would not be true, but alas, it will be.
Waffle House, he says.
Speedy Gonzales says don’t make stereotypical racist comments.
.
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Ay caramba.
Kelly smells like strawberries. But her hands smell of Axe.
I would shake her maracas & torpedo her taco
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mariachis