Thursday, May 23, 2013
Friday Haiku
Todd found out he was
Silicone Intolerant
When the seizure struck.
Don’t you worry, Todd
I have just the paddle to
Get through those mountains.
— The Dude
Someone pissed in the
Goose, Bobby Bottleservice
Took a big ol’ swig
— Capt. James T. Douche
Trish moved to LA
with starlet dreams. Now: Vegas
Selling Goose. Damn Shame.
— HCwDBnyc
Party scene, nightlife
Detritus of the human
Condition. With booze
— DoucheyWallnuts
She likes the hipsters
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The coat he’s wearing
matches the one on his tongue:
both “Members Only.”
— Wheezer
todd learned the hard way
while truly fine to ogle
don’t bite the fakies!
Background Cleavite tops
Melonic Inflataboobs.
But still: Boobs are boobs.
Don’t you worry, Todd
I have just the paddle to
Get through those mountains.
Camera hangs in
shame for dangling from hipster.
Dreams of upskirt shot.
Bottle blonde tranny
Plus hipster douchebag equals
Societal loss
Odious couple
Disturbs harmony. Creates
Rift in Universe
Someone pissed in the
Goose, Bobby Bottleservice
Took a big ol’ swig
Trish moved to LA
with starlet dreams. Now: Vegas
Selling Goose. Damn Shame.
Poo hitting water
The smell of putrescence and
Failure. Nature weeps
Party scene, nightlife
Detritus of the human
Condition. With booze
It might be a chick
Then again, it might not be…
Conundrum, I says
Check under the skirt
Before making any moves
A wise man once said
CJTD wins!
“Big ol’ swig” blew the coffee
Straight out of my nose!
One in the stink, none
In the pink, since she ain’t got
No pink. None, I says
She likes the hipsters
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
It puts the camera
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Flashbulb hose.
Federal furlough
has me home; can I shake off
some haiku cobwebs?
‘Sock getting early
start to haiku; must have Pear
en masse to show us
His jacket patch says
My other camera is a
Brownie. Poo Brownie
Hipster Harry just
Found out that the cock matches
The drapes. Tranny drapes.
Welded to torso,
camera points down; he likes
pics of his strap-ons.
Hipster fag thinks that
Pocket devices are tres gauche.
Raids Grandma’s attic.
The flash bulb is still
smaller than the watch on his
left arm. Just trust me.
Bill the Cat Scat’s gack
Is pro’lly due to piss in
his NJ bar’s Goose.
Tatines eau saline;
maybe he licked one after
the tequila shot.
Black velvet/spandex
legs at lower left; can she
stand up and show Pear?
She lost two fingers
in horrid scene: she “Shockered”
him; surprised, he clinched.
The coat he’s wearing
matches the one on his tongue:
both “Members Only.”
“Bottle service” means
vodka enemas followed
by a screwdriver.
Her parents had a
dream: to die before this went
to the internet.
His parents had a
dream: to understand why he
did not like the girls.
“Swingers” club chains are
used to get gyroscope out
of her monkey hole.
.
Like a tractor pull
Only with more diesel fumes
and more trailer trash.
Poor Todd,
Caught a whiff,
of what’s waiting,
down below,
Burma Shave!
How do I get the
Taste of a tranny’s scrotum
Out of my mouth.
Tres gauche, FTW.
Fake club camera guy
with “I’ll make you famous” line
Blond bleeth falls for it
Much later that night
He’s taking pictures of her
in pit with lotion
He’s no Mick Jagger
More like a lickin’ fagger
“Eeek! It’s a woman!”
Soul singing blonde girl
Michelle Bolt-on
Sittin’ on c#ck of the day
This is video
For song, “I Licked a Tranny’s Balls
and I Liked it.”
Whoops, reverse those last two lines and adjust. Re-Brain.
Soul singing blonde girl
Sittin’ on c#ck of the day
It’s Michelle Bolt-on!
He needs more vodka
To erase the horror of
Touching tranny’s junk
Todd’s mother never
warned him if he keeps making
that face it will freeze.
Photo evidence
of rich mom’s scheme hiring ‘tards
to cut Disney lines.
Trashbag version of
Kaley Cuoco makes me feel
woozy. In the pants.
Saulgoode 8:52a remix, FTW.
providing clean wipes
todd waits outside of toilet
likes taste of chocolate
I don’t know what’s worse
The taste in my mouth or the
Pubes in my eye
Sittin’ on the cocck
Of the day, watchin’ my life
A-wastin’ away
Freddie the Photog
trades pics for licks with Danielle
Taste of Vagisil
Breast Implant Betty
Brings slow cousin Ted to club
Orders douche and soda
^replace orders with drinks
you got to be lame
to be known as the black sheep
in Gene Simmons clan
*must replace this gyroscope*
where is the ass pear?
provide or dark sock beware
if none than prepare
to be duct taped to a chair
and shorn of all hair!
.
gives us pear now you mississippi mudflap bangin bastard!
Pear takes time, Wheezer;
Now go forth with thine lotion
And fap thine self raw.