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Tuesday, May 7, 2013
KV, Hott #76 and Your Humble Narrator Are A'Waitin'…
We got alls day, ‘bag hunters and huntresses.
Alls day.
You want to stop the KV pics?
Send in some quality HCwDB tags.
C’mon. Random narcissistic club websites ain’t gonna mock themselves.
If you want the Pear, you gots to pony up the HCwDB pics. That’s how we mock.
I can’t do everything around this place. I got alpacas to “feed.” And by feed, I mean fondle. Because you needed me to spell that out, even though the quotes gave away the joke already.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013Well Sheeiiittt….
You humble narrator’s quality HCwDB pics are just about in the red, aka kaput, aka outs. I gots the nothin’s.
So you know what that means.
Tons of pics of Kisseus Vomitorious macking on assorted slutt hotts in the greater Las Vegas area, complete with douche pooch, until you, or one of your fellow denizens, snags some new quality pics for your humb narrs to mock.
Because that’s how HCwDB rolls.
So beware. Until some quality pics come in, you’re facing….
The Full Vomitorious (NSFW) (NSFL).
Monday, May 6, 2013Silver Harold's Night Out
Champagne and blow may be one way to bring in the Party Woo Hotts of Miami Beach.
But champagne and blow don’t got nuthin’ on Silver Harold’s eyebrow dye.
Monday, May 6, 2013Colin Goes Scissorin'
Colin’s Red Bull fuels the stupid like so many tinder branches upon a kettle fire.
Marissa’s furry boots barely conceal the firm, child bearing hips of the Semites of Russian yore. And for that, I like her toe spackle and whimper softly like a cretinous lech.
But not just any lech.
Polish political references for the winn dixie.
Monday, May 6, 2013Your Monday Morning Spewdaddy
Hello Spewdaddy!!
Hello!!
How you wake us up on a Monday morning like a jolt of coffee heroin straight to the synthroided nadsack.
Lo, if your humb narrs’s lazy ass lazy ass gets off his lazy ass, it’s high time to place the K.V. in the Hall of Scrote.
But man I hate that HTML’n.
So I think I’ll just eat a bowl of Fruit Loops and stare at the wall.
Sunday, May 5, 2013All the Other Douches with the Pumped Up Smooshes…
Juice kills, kids.
Juice kills.
Saturday, May 4, 2013Wallnuts After Dark; What the F^€k is a Meme?
Now I’ve been onto this Internet caper ever since Al Gore invented it back when he also served as the inspiration for that book that was a movie with that guy who looked like a Finnoch but wound up marryin’ that primo skirt Farrah Fawcett. Some kinda sappy love story. Anyways, I’m no Neander-Fucc but for the life a me I can’t figure out what the Fucc a Meme is.
So anyways, I went to the Google and looked this Meme thing up and what I found made my head hurt somethin’ awful. Here’s what that Wickerpedia says:
“A meme is “an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from person to person within a culture. A meme acts as a unit for carrying cultural ideas, symbols, or practices that can be transmitted from one mind to another through writing, speech, gestures, rituals, or other imitable phenomena. Supporters of the concept regard memes as cultural analogues to genes in that they self-replicate, mutate, and respond to selective pressures.”
Now what the Fucc does that mean? Ya mean?
So is Sinatra a Meme, or is it The Rat Pack? Is Dean a Meme? Sammy? I don’t remember any a them self-replicating or mutating. Now I seen guys like Skinny D’Amato make things happen by applying quite a bit of selective pressure, but was any of those guys units? And I sure as shit don’t know what no cultural analogues is. I ain’t never even seen a word spelled with a “gues” at the end of it, either. A fannabala!
I remember once we was hangin’ at The Brown Derby in L.A., which sucked by the way, and we looked around and every guy was dressed like Frank. The hat, the pocket hankie, the shoes, smokin’ Camels, drinkin’ Jack and Coke; the Whole Nine.
We thought they was Cheese Eaters lookin’ to skate on our gig, and made fun a them, but accordin’ to this Meme thing they was just gettin’ the transmission of our gestures and other imitable phenomena. Whatever the Fucc that is.
In this day and age everything’s gotta have a name or a title or a meaning. From what I figure, every goddamn thing is a Meme. Sounds like we all is Memes based on this cockamamie definition.
Friday Thoughts and Links
On this, the celebratory day of Kisseus Vomitorious’s gym wedding, when his shriveled nads swear undying allegiance to Chick o’ the Day ™, let us bow our heads and pray.
Oh Lord, ye of such awesome and swirling powers of powerfulness, why doest thou create hair grease and orange pec shave?
In a world of sexy nubile hott, why doest thou give them such poor life choices? Is it a lesson? A moral challenge? A test of Job-ian proportions?
Lo. Hark. Alack.
Let us pray. For HoHos.
Here’s your links:
Your Weekly Amazon Buy-Something-And-Support-the-Site Link: “Jelly Baby?”
It’s official: Twinkies and HoHos live! And so does your humb narrator.
The 50 Comedians You Should Know. No sign of the DB1 on the list. I blame my agents.
Speaking of that list, my new favorite comedian is without a doubt Bo Burnham. Genius stuff.
Husband. Father. Plastic Surgeon. Rock Star. Douchebag.
According to FHM, Semitic Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh Mila Kunis is the #1 Sexiest Woman in the World. I can’t disagree, although a write-in vote for the new Doctor Who companion Jenna Louise Coleman, even if she can’t act and this season has been awful so far. Holy Jebus that show has gone off the rails.
Speaking of hot semites (not counting waspy Jenna Louise Coleman), meet Haim. Three hott LA Jewesses. This week, Canter’s Deli. Next week. The Upper West Side.
Is Sideboob Trendy or Trashy? The correct answer is glorious.
From HCwDB’s own Choad the Douche Sprocket: The 66 Greatest Juke Box Songs.
James Hughes, son of legendary Bueller director John Hughes, pens an amazing piece for Grantland on his father’s love of hockey. Well worth a read for how each of us processes our childhood memories and experiences into our adult loyalties, affections, and shared construction of identity.
Okay, ’nuff of all that. Lets get to the Pear.
First up: Brazil’s Best Pear of the Year. But since that’s an article, lets get to the pics. Here ya go:
And when you speak of me, speak kindly.
Friday, May 3, 2013Friday Haiku
She pulled his finger;
There came a sputtering sound –
Then he was smaller.
Fifty Cent could not
stay away from the crab cakes
now needs Epi-pen.
— Douche Wayne
out of convenience
he used her head as a swab
roids make your ass bleed
— creature
It puts the bicep
In the basket or it gets
The hose. Steroid hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Thursday, May 2, 2013Sorority Lisa Experiences A Fruitopia Douche Sandwich
This. Will not end well.
Beware the jelly dong, Sorority Lisa. Beware the jelly dong.
