Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Reader Mail: JR Tags a Poster HCwDB

Reader JR snaps this coupling of greasy avatar:

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I saw it on display by a photobooth at CocoBongo Playa del Carmen when I was down there over the weekend. I went to high school with the beautiful temptress and thought it worthy of a picture. It was only when reviewing the pic that I truly appreciated the douchiness of this guys exaggerated v-neck, shaved fauxhawk and freshly pumped ‘ceps. But the effort he made to stretch his neck for the forehead touch is what makes it truly awkward.

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Well tagged, indeed, JR. And may all your post high school suckle thighs offer the same worth of Tempting Tandy here.

Dirk Makes the Pukeface

Remember kids, Puke Face is inversely proportional to likelihood of post-party cubble bobble.

And if you don’t know what cubble bobble is, then you ain’t been to Albuquerque.

HINT: It involves Holy Yellow Triangle.

Truth in Advertising: The New Dove Soap Commercial

So the ad wizards that peddle premium soap by peddling Oprah porn are rolling out a bunch of pseudo-honest claptrap designed to blame society for making women feel bad about their self image.

Oh how sad! They think they look one way, but then when an entirely objective sketch artist (in no way biased by the agenda of the ad agency paying him) draws another sketch based on a witness (in no way biased by the agenda of the ad agency paying her), she looks way more pretty.

This, of course, means something something.

In reality?

Who gives a crap what we think we look like?

Take a look at this pic, Dove Advertising Agency! And then lick my scrotundae.

This pic is the real America, baby.

The rest is selling something.

Hungover on Thursday…

Ole’ Tex Wildflower keeps on keepin’ on,

And Ole’ Tex done beat the Devil all along.

Or, more to the point about your humb narrs:

Rice wine with sushi is a trick,

And the next thing you know I am sick.