Hallmark's "Say it With Donk"
HCwDB is branching out into the greeting card business. I anticipate this becoming a best seller.
Suggest your best inside-card slogans to pitch our first line of cards, “Say it With Donk.”
EDIT: Here’s our leading contenders:
“The burning is only temporary. I promise.” – Ted Brogan
“Hope the tests come back negative.” – Guid is Good
“I’m sorry the bone disease has spread to your left arm.” – FredN.
“Sorry about your grandma dying or some junk. Ummm I’m sure she’s with Jesus or Buddha or whatever. Anyway, uhhh, uhhh, crap why is this so hard??? Whatevs, Hallmark cards are for fags anyway!” – Capt. James T. Douche
“Congratulations! I heard you made bail!” – Scooby Douche
“Happy Fathers Day
Whoever you are” – Creature
“Thanks for the best sex I’ve had since prison!” – DoucheyWallnuts
“Happy Birthday! I got you a bracelet. It matches the one my parole officer put on me for home monitoring.” – Magnum Douche P.I.
“My other boner is also a chick.”
“Employ Me” ??
Scoliosis is a bitch.
For when your father dies a lonely death (while you’re clubbing it up til the early dawn), and you need to convince the family the cash-stream shant be cut off, “Say It With Donk”
The burning is only temporary. I promise.
“HEY BABY. YOU LIKE MY BACK TATTS, WAIT TILL YOU SEE MY SNEAKER COLLECTION. BODIES A CANVAS BITCH! NEVER LAUGH AT THE MYZZ AGAIN. BEHOLD THE DARKNESS.”
Hope the tests come back negative.
Chin up bro, It’s only gay if he came in you.
“I’m sorry the bone disease has spread to your left arm.”
Congrats on your first neck tatt!
Expressing condolences on the loss of your loved one due to an unfortunate tanning bed accident.
Sorry you have to go to prison now, remember if it feels like more than 2 fingers it’s probably a dick.
Here’s to a successful gender reassignment.
“Sorry about your grandma dying or some junk. Ummm I’m sure she’s with Jesus or Buddha or whatever. Anyway, uhhh, uhhh, crap why is this so hard??? Whatevs, Hallmark cards are for fags anyway!”
Fist pumps and VIP access,
The Donk
Sorry you have ugly feet…
XOXO
The Donk
“Sorry I missed our anniversary cause I was in jail awaiting trial on my drug dealing / armed violence / bomb in my belt charges. Fucking cops !”
“Sorry I gave you Hepatitis C. Those prison tattoo artists don’t keep the needles too clean”
“Happy Birthday ! I got you a bracelet. It matches the one my parole officer put on me for home monitoring.”
[opens the card]
.
“Beg to differ! Attitude and being one of a kind sets u apart from the masses and brings u opportunity and opens doors due to the increased attention! Nobody wants NORMAL, for normal is boring! If I can express my inner self by tattoos and draw attention and positive energy to my self everyday then I turned myself into a PRICELESS BILLBOARD TO ADVERTISE MYSELF! That is winning! But they key is to keep it classy and spend the $$ on good ink and keep ur CANVAS in gladiator shape year round! Haha”
.
(his actual FB comment to all the haterz our there)
The Donk is really taking a pounding here. Probably reminds him of the good times he had on cell block D.
God must love unemployable douche-spigots. He made so many of them.
“Congratulations! I heard you made bail!”
“My condolences on running out of Slick Lube”
“Never take the public defender”
Happy first semi-consensual anal mang-bang!
Love,
Mom
What’s your name again?
I shaved my twat for this?
“whether accessorizin’ your hand bags & kicks
…..rippin’ your canvas or gettin’ a mani-pedi, keep it classy…
.
.
& always, Do it like The Donk!”
Thanks for the best sex I’ve had since prison!
…one man’s creepy Is another cat’s cool
.
Heee Haaaw
.
Do the Donk!
don’t let your parole violation get ya down
.
you’ll be back on the street by labour day
In Cook County Corrections
.
they call it ‘Donkee Style’
.
Hee Haw….Do the Donk!
….Ye’ll know how to treat your bitches better
.
…once you’ve had a dick inya!
Congrats! Your lats are pumped, dude
Some chicks like a bent dick, just think of yourself as “ewneek”, uh, “yoonieke” uh, “eunich”, uh,…… hold on , asking for help,….. oh! “UNIQUE”
.
Chin up, bra. Fist pump
If you come from the school of hard nocks
.
consider yoooself lucky
.
it aint the school of hard cocks!
Nice Rack! Good call on the boob job
Happy Fathers Day
.
whoever you are
Roses Are Red
Violets Are Blue
I Just Blew My Wad
Thank you
I’ve found my soul mate….
We both have sweet tits!
-Just Donk It
Of all the words of tongue and pen
My favorite are, “I’d fuck you again.”
Keep your feet clean and don’t forget your nice purse, mama… I’m gonna give you both inches of lovin’!!
“Holiday best to all of yours, from all of ours: our vapid, coke burned brains, uber-tatted epedermi, silicon enhanced fakies, and one very loose, over-used jailhouse rectum.
Signed,
Mr. and Mizz Donkey Douche
Those who can, Ink.
Those who cannot, Draw Greeting Cards?
Thanks for letting me crush your twat. Bitch.
“Can I have that $20 Gramma gave you for your birthday?”