Tuesday, July 9, 2013
1988: The Year We Made Douchebag
1988. The number. Another douchebag. Sound of a trust fund asswipe.
— Public Enema
I see you, Coquettish Monica. Your self consciousness about your teeth and propensity to bump into coffee tables when you try to walk around them to go to the kitchen to get another Zima make you endearing, not awkward. I celebrate your wholeness of spirit and bobble fondle by following you through CostCo with binoculars and an ostrich feather, and my awkward sniffing of your Prius driver’s seat while you run into the bank to deposit a check is meant only as a sign of respect. And booble fondle humpty hump. Boobs.
*est*?
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I think it was supposed to read *failed abortion*
also, to an earlier point- white sunglass frames
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check and mate
Monica’s Coquettes are the reason I run into things while staring at her fun barrels. The ‘sswipe looks like a Cowboy fan. Did America’s Team™ do something special in ’88?
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Oh shit, the ‘sswipe was born in 1988? Good God.
Anna Benson would look good on the receiving end of a Kroeger open faced sandwich with cock knobble for dressing. Overbite chicks and braces girls give the most furious bloodlettin blowjobs. I prefer toothless like my old aunt Gertie used to give me while I washed her distended uterus gingerly in the crazy folks home
so what are ya sayin’ boss?
…she’s gotta ragged grill?
cover it in paste…na’ mean?
‘1988’…the number of penicillin doses he’s taken
Monica’s collarbone tatt says “pinch nose for airtight seal”
Booble Fondle Humpty Monica is merely killing time with this schlub until Bill , the sommelier at the Palms, finalizes his divorce from wife #4.
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Ask Choad the Douche Sprocket. He’s probably nailed her, too. Vegas chicks have a very short shelf life and loose, loose slots (if you know what I mean)
Sometimes this guy’s tinnitus makes him giggle because it sounds just like a Steve Aoki tune
Nice of him to narrow it down. Once I invent my time machine, I now know where to go with a coat hanger.
Boobies. Oh my.
This is proof she has a gyroscope in her monkey hole
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5f/Gyroscope_-_Breed_Obsession.png/220px-Gyroscope_-_Breed_Obsession.png
Her tits would make great lamp shades.
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Underboob glow globes
Little known fact of douche sartorial guidance – the sunglasses should always match the over size watch and belt (if worn).
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Dandies.
You can almost hear what he is thinking-
Yup Yup Yup- I got her to get in the pool with me Yup Yup Yup She likes me she really likes Me Yup Yup yup
Clemmy thought it was a great idea to tattoo his monthly income across his chest.
I think the Public Enemy song actually opens with “1989”…as noted by jonezy, I am guessing 1988 was the year he should have been aborted by popular demand
Cleetus Bernoulli, seen here blatanly ignoring the work of his ancestors, still can’t figure out why his attempts at holding Maria underwater will never be successful.