Monday, July 29, 2013
Freud's Cigar
When Freud forever altered our understandings of the human mind during the intellectual renaissance of fin de siècle Vienna, one of the most important concepts that he introduced was transference.
Transference is how the mind attempts to resolve incongruities produced between the conscious state and subconscious repressed memories of the past.
To resolve this, we project the past onto the present through sublimation. Thus the Freudian slip — the revelation of subconscious transference through accidental substitution of one word with another.
However, not all cigars are penises.
And this guy sucks.
Boobs.
Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.
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Melanie’s boobs, on the other hand, are timeless.
This chick is gonna be huge.
Sometimes an ’84 Dodge Aries gets a fillup of high test. Knowhatimsayin’?
Sometimes a man in pajamas is simply a man wearing pajamas. Knowhatimsayin’?
Sometimes a pocket square is simply loaded with snot
This girl is so big she looks like the case Kim Kardashian came in.
Sometimes a doucebag is just a fucking douchebag… That should be popped in his fucking stupid face for setting foot out of the goddam house looking like a fucking asshole!!! FUCK!
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LIfe haters!
hard to tell if she’s holding a phone or mace.
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What with my eyes focused squarely on her smegma receptacles and all.
He lives for when people ask him “You do any stunt work for Denzel?”
“You do any stunt work for Denzel?”
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“No, but I’ve been punched in the mouth by a key poking fist by a woman that caught me looking at her ass in the ATM rear view mirror”
Moises Alou Jr can still pull the tail.
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strikeout kings
Random vote time. Who do you think gives toothier blowjobs, him or her?
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pollsters
Maybe the douche is a Bill Clinton disciple…
^ Dr. B-
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Funny you should mention Moises Alou. He used to roam the Chicago bar scene late at night with a peculiar approach to macking the Hotts. I saw this on several occasions, him piss drunk, pushing 40, would approach a group of young 20 something girls, and gesture at one of them with his hand, then point that hand to his crotch, half thrusting it at them as if to say “you want some of this?”
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The response would be no, so he’d simply make a quarter turn to the next girl in the gaggle, do the same gesture, and then as they all say no, he would walk away down the bar and approach the next group of girls. I somehow imagine this probably had a high success rate to be honest.
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I would then see him the VERY next day come into my restaurant before game time, with his wife, and order a bunch of crazy shit to cure his hang over.
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The rumor was always that he pissed on his hands in the shower for some reason- good luck? Better grip? I think he was one of those that never used batting gloves even on a cold, crisp April game at Wrigley.
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Don’t see him around much anymore- I guess he retired elsewhere.
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And to really tie the story together, the restaurant I worked at is literally across the street from the R Kelly residence where “the Pissening” happened.
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Medical Fact.
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Micturators
^ I’ll be waiting patiently for your call Ken Burns
I guess y’all are too young to remember the star of Miami Vice, Jan Michael Vincent.
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Oh, and… Boobies!
Jonezy,
Corepower Yoga?
http://goo.gl/maps/vmTXA
Who’s he the black hugh hefner