Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Old Brotha Mel Sings the Hit the Road Blues

Even Evil Yellow Sunball realizes that Old Brotha Mel is not a ‘bag. He is the Mack.

Connie and Priscilla giggle politely. Little do they know that Old Brotha Mel still brings it.

80s Preppies Live on In Europe

Europe has always been a few years behind on the douche trends. But three decades? Seems a bit much.

Scandanavian Hott giggle sounds like a newborn wildebeest eating a truffle. Fact.

1988: The Year We Made Douchebag

1988. The number. Another douchebag. Sound of a trust fund asswipe.

— Public Enema

I see you, Coquettish Monica. Your self consciousness about your teeth and propensity to bump into coffee tables when you try to walk around them to go to the kitchen to get another Zima make you endearing, not awkward. I celebrate your wholeness of spirit and bobble fondle by following you through CostCo with binoculars and an ostrich feather, and my awkward sniffing of your Prius driver’s seat while you run into the bank to deposit a check is meant only as a sign of respect. And booble fondle humpty hump. Boobs.

Breaking: Anna Benson is a Psychopath

Remember Kris and Anna Benson? Yeah, me neither.

Apparently he’s a (not very douchey) athlete of some kind, and she’s a hottie. Or make that a Bleeth.

As there’s marital bliss. And then there’s entering your husband’s home with a gun and a bulletproof vest and demanding money.

———–

Former “Baseball Wives” star Anna Benson — the estranged wife of ex-pitcher Kris Benson — was arrested this morning in Georgia … after allegedly raiding Kris’ apartment with a gun and a metal baton, all while wearing a bulletproof vest.

But it didn’t stop there … Kris told police Anna then pulled out a handgun and demanded money. She must have been expecting Kris to pull a gun on her too … because she was allegedly wearing a bulletproof vest at the time of the alleged assault.

————–

Lesson learned: Not all hot chicks are worth it, kids.

Hair Jordan And Ref Tina

To white belt or not to white belt?

Mullet over and get back to me.

The Dragon Fondler Takes a Break From Fondling to Consider A Life Unexamined

The Dragon Fondler aspires to become a philosopher.

The Dragon Fondler will not succeed in this quest.

Yeesh, between this pic and yesterday, it’s like a 2-frame animation of the creepy oil slick from Creepshow 2 eating away at my soul.

The Dragon Fondler Rises

If Nessie were a douchescrote.

Or a Zygon.

Reader Mail: Unclear on the Concept

————-

I Am James William and I would like to order some of your

James William

——

Well hello James William! Funny that you should inquire.? You now no longer wait as this is reply.

We are having a sale on Donkey ‘Bags. The price is now two for please kill it with fire.

Let us know if interest, and also to purchase credit or yes.

Sincerely,

DB1

Nerd Sweaters

Now with extra tangential angles.

Punky Jeanster makes my southern comfort want to lynyrd her Alabamas.

"Smell Yo Dick"

Like classic George Gershwin or perhaps late career Leonard Bernstein.