Thursday, August 8, 2013
Friday Haiku
Yo, son, check Biff out;
He’s the meat in a Hotwich;
By “meat” I mean “poo”.
*Mooo* So fµ¢kïñg what?
They ordered bottle service
Ingredients: Grain.
— Crücial Heæd
Pregnancy dresses
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I had the renoB
Until I realized that girl
Has my Mom’s haircut
— DoucheyWallnuts
Husky Iowa girls
will do things most girls will not
do. Like mow your lawn.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Vinnie’s first night out
of jail finds big blondes with bowl
cuts. Prison seems O.K.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Lane Bryant models
need to get their douche on too
Biff takes one for team
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Them are some large gals
They may be Ohioans
Still, I’d fuck ’em both
*Mooo* So fucking what?
They ordered bottle service
Ingredients: Grain.
Dart board or score board?
Both are empty as my balls
After plugging blonde.
Hanging in background
Colorful origami
Fags of our Fathers.
Yo, look at my broads!
Thelma and Louise asked me
To go fer a ride!
Doc Douchebag MD
Poses with delivery
Nurses. What? Too soon?
Mort and Althea
Discuss String Theory’s faults
Behind Biff’s pic op.
Pregnancy dresses
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
It puts the grain in
The basket or it gets the
Hose. High fructose hose.
Sometimes when your Sis
Comes to town. You just let go
And say, “Coyote Ugly”.
Getting stoned before
Work has become a guilty
Pleasure. Fuck the Man!
They don’t look bad
At six in the morning stoned.
Wait twenty years. Fuck!
Following The Rev’s
“Sobriety”, or lack there-
of, causes whiplash
Brady Reunion.
Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! Jan.
Call him Oliver.
Nice bottlecocck pose
Triggers my urge to breastfeed
Regression is sweet
Sometimes ya gotta
be nice to the frumpy friend
to nail the hot. Son !
Matronly drunk broads
Bang like crazy, so I says
I’ll give them a whirl
I had the renoB
Until I realized that girl
Has my Mom’s haircut
Biff likes his girls thick
Also ate lead paint as a
kid. Short bus rider.
Rushing menopause
Dot and Liz cut hair, bulk up
Wear Grandma’s dresses
Husky Iowa girls
will do things most girls will not
do. Like mow your lawn.
Flabby arms kill wood
But Biff hopes the beer goggles
Will help him perform
From the looks of it
Biff will have to navigate
Gunt. The Gunt, I says
Vinnie hopes to get
top dollar for prize heifers.
Needs to pay for Goose.
Janice and Tim play
“hot hands” to avoid foursome
with these fools. Stakes high.
Vinnie’s first night out
of jail finds big blondes with bowl
cuts. Prison seems O.K.
Frumpy and Dumpy
Out on a Cock Hunt. Poor Biff
Caught in their crosshairs…
Paul or Paula? Hmm
Biff better do a crotch check
A Crotch Check, I says
The old saw must be
true. You can drink a three (and
three) into a six.
BIff’s twin afflictions
Nott Double Encirclement
Valtrex Prescription
Nepos in tha house
Crucial Head Comeback tour stop
Brings Volume Haiku
Lane Bryant models
need to get their douche on too
Biff takes one for team
Packers Fans want Biff
Cheese Curds and PBRs
Make for Messy Drunk 3-Way
I’d fuck my own fist
Before I’d get involved with
Either of these bleeths
Dude can’t make up mind
Bang fat Frances McDormand?
Or make play for both
Fuccen IRS
On hold for forty-five clicks
HEY LOOK , It’s Crucial
We’ve beat this haiku
to death. Chief, put down princess
for nap. Post some links.
O.C. Milf Parade
Takes corner into douche bar
Will bang anything
He told them he was
Carlos Danger just so they
would touch his Weiner.
Chris Elliot’s son
Living large off dad’s ex-fame
Dave doesn’t call back
Chunky twins are not
disappointed his Fap Out
T-shirt in the wash.
Lane Bryant models FTW^
Thërë ïs nö grëätër
Hönör thän bëïng gräntëd
Ümläüts by Därksöckķ
THEY BOTH MUST EAT GRAIN
Or they get the hose again;
The Monkey Hole Hose.
When was the last time
I saw that haircut? Oh…right.
Well…goodbye boner.
I will live hard, fast,
And leave a pretty corpse. BUT –
It won’t be my corpse.