Monday, August 19, 2013
Caption This
The bigger they are…
If you have a clever caption for Lurch and Mini-Tracy-Ullman here, please share it in the comments thread.
***REMINDER***
This will be a scholarly week spent on discussion of all things DoucheBaggish. There will be no distracting gratuitous pear. We are here to do serious work, not ogle glistening buttocks of callipygian goddesses.
That is all.
The more static in their hair.
The Mons Veneris is at knee level.
Yeah, I got a comment: WTF!?!?!
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ps That weird parallel universe that Sock usually brings is back. You’ll experience it when you click the pic the first time.
The bigger their shirt horsey is.
The more elbows in the balls.
I’ll take duodenal sphincter splittage for $20, Kanye.
Mind id I sleep on your pocket.
How’s the Conan haircut up there?
And way more static with ten-test, am I right?
Frank believed them when they told him “The sky is the limit for your douchebaggedness”.
Being able to titty fuck a chick while you’re both standing is nothing to poke fun at. It’s to be admired.
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Hehe, “poke” fun at at.
The bigger they are …… the more midgets you can insert in your rectum. In his case he says two.
In the modern version of “The Munsters,” Herman’s four foot long cock becomes clogged with brewer’s yeast and coagulated seminal fluid, rendering him infertile. So, he and Lilly adopt a mildly retarded, blind boy with a penchant for mischief and advanced Tourette’s Syndrome.
This guy’s so tall he has to lay down to jerk off.
This guy’s so tall he poops Kardashians.
This guy’s so tall he doesn’t need the ski lift.
This guy’s so tall he once walked to Hawaii.
This guy’s so tall he uses Volkswagen Beatles for skates.
This guy’s so tall his pee evaporates before it hits the urinal.
This guy is so tall we could reach 100 comments riffing on him.
This guy’s so tall he can only 69 with Human Centipedes.
This guy’s so tall he gets to vote twice.
This guy is so tall he leaves skid marks on the ceiling.
This guy is so tall his nose bleeds if he stands up too fast.
This guy is so tall if he layed down in the chunnel his head would be in England and his feet would be in France.
That chick is so short she has to stand on a dime to look over a nickel.
This guy is so tall his gyroscope doesn’t reach his monkey hole.
This guy is so tall, when he farts no one smells it.
This guy is so tall his pubes have frost on them every morning.
This guy is so tall he peed in a horse…twice.
This guy is so tall his snot is caused by glacial melt.
This guy is so tall his balls have only seen his dick in pictures.
This guy is so tall he doesn’t fuck doggie style, he fucks giraffe style.
This guy is so tall you need a grain thresher to shave his back.
This guy is so tall he squat thrusts standng telephone poles for recreation.
This guy is so tall he still poos Gerber baby food.
This guy is so tall his knee caps have no nerve endings.
This guy is so tall he has to wear a hard hat on the tip of his dick in case he gets an erection inside a building.
This guy is so tall he doesn’t take the stairs, he takes the elevator shaft.
He once straddled the Eiffel Tower.
On his knees.
This guy is so tall he had to apply for an Accredited Crane Operator Certification before he was allowed to turn his head.
This guy is so tall you tickle his feet and he giggles three days later.
This guy is so tall his scrotum would skin five timpanis.
This guy is so tall his head has guide wires attached to it.
This guy is so tall his birthday is July.
This guy is so tall he paralyzed the last girl he fucked by crushing her brain stem with his dick.
This guy is so tall girls need a ladder to suck his dick.
This guy is so tall when he lies down he’s arrested for illegally crossing the border.
This guy is so tall the FAA makes him wear blinking lights on his head.
This guy is so tall he stores his head in the overhead compartment on planes.
This guy is so tall he has to duck when a satellite passes overhead.
This guy is so tall he uses Stonehenge as a butt plug.
This guy’s so tall he can’t play basketball because the Roofer’s Union won’t allow him to jump inside any building.
This guy is so tall he can see the rings of Saturn without the aid of a telescope.
Never stand under this guy during a thunderstorm.
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And move to the lowest floor of your home.
This guy is so tall he’s the reason why cumulus clouds have “cum” in them.
This guy is so tall his cock works washing windows.
This guys so tall he gave the CN Tower a wedgie.
This guys so tall he uses the Chunnel for a bong.
This guys so tall he smokes stacks.
This guys so tall the lintel over his frat door has an elevator.
This guys so tall he needs a pillaster to hold his balls?
This guys so tall they poured a plie cap pn his head.
This guys so tall his clothes are curtain wall.
This guys so tall he has an exoskeleton.
This guys so tall he can see Turkey from Sarah Palin’s house.
This guys so tall he has Skylab for lice.
Thia guys so tall he saw Edie Gormet ascend to Heaven with the archangels.
This guys so tall he hangs elevators, drywall’s for Frenchmens.
This guy i so tall he knows that all of Toronto is boring.
This guys so tall he fucks switchbacks.
This guys so tall he drink geysers.
The bigger they are, the smaller their twat.
She’s so small her snail tracks have snail tracks.
She’s so short her twat sticks to linoleum.
Twat is my word of the day. And maybe tomorrow, as well. How’s about, “Twat Tuesday?”
She’s so short she needs a step stool to reach her clit. Her clit, I says.
He’s so tall he has weather balloon nut sacks.
I can’t stop laughing. You fuccen Retards.
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Tell you what…we hit 100, I’ll append some Gratuitous Pear to this sumbitch tonight.
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Holy shit I got snot running down my chin from laughing.
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Tards
He’s so tall his socks are Lands End sleeping bags.
He’s so tall he has to stand in the Marianas Trench to wash his asshole.
This guy is so tall when he craps his knees rub the ceiling.
This guy is so tall he needs wifi to see his feet
This guy is so tall his femur has scaffolding
This guy is so tall he’s never seen eggs.
She’s so short she almost got raped by a mallard when she did a duckface selfie by a pond once
This guy is so tall he has to fly UPS
This guy is so tall he doesn’t believe in mosquitos
This guy is so tall he uses city buses as FleshLights.
This guy is so tall tree surgeons have to shave his junk.
This guy is so tall he takes his Low T treatments via bottle rockets.
This guy is so tall girls have to go to China so he can go down on them.
This guy is so tall when Lurch sees him he cries “DER PLANE! DER PLANE!!!”
This guy is so tall you can only see his bald spot with Hubble.
This guy is so tall his dandruff turns into meteors.
This guy is so tall he has to sit down to play in the NBA.
This guy is so tall he uses her as a condom.
This guy is so tall when he visited New York he got arrested for occupying Wall Street.
This guy is so tall he got drunk and hit on the Statue of Liberty.
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And got her number.
This guy is so tall he got a hummer from Mt. Rushmore.
This guy is so tall the gum Mrs. Higdon made him spit out in the 7th grade hasn’t hit the ground yet.
this guys so tall he washes his balls at the golf course
the guy is so tall he brings to the party his very own finger puppets!
the dude is so tall he scares the piss out of sasquatch!
This guy’s so tall, if he had longer hair, we could name him “Mulliver.”
I’m gonna give Lurch a provisional notta. Also, I think Mini-Traci went home with him after this party.
This guy’s so tall, he hunts geese with a rake.
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Yeah, it’s a rip-off but it’s till fuccen funny.
Dx: Marfan Syndrome.
This guy’s so tall, he hit his head on the moon.
This guy’s so tall, he fertilized an entire Monsanto crop when he took a shit.
This guy’s so tall, that when he pees, it comes down as a monsoon in the Philippines.
This guy’s so tall, CERN is going to try and use him to generate Higgs bosons.
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?????
This guy’s so tall, Richard Branson wants to rent his nuts for sub-orbital flights.
Short Liv Ullman’s pants are so tight her vulva is glad it’s shaved. So am I.