Friday, August 2, 2013
Friday Haiku
One thing about Trish
That I can share with you is
She really loves head.
Wait, which one of the
Village People are you? The
Hydrocephalic?
— Capt. James T. Douche
His Mom’s vagina
Looks like the Holland Tunnel
It’s real big, I says
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jim finds out the hard
way the buffet shrimp cocktail
were cooked in their shells.
— Douche Wayne
Mr. Potato Head
And Chastity Bono go
Wild for Halloween.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Rocky Dennis blows
all Mask film rights cash on goose
at da clubs. Cher weeps.
— Magnum Douche P. I.
It’s OK Jill. All
West Virginian clubs allow
inbred bros as dates.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
OshKosh B’Gosh are
the new trend this year for those
who get pooped upon
— Jacques Doucheteau
Wait, which one of the
Village People are you? The
Hydrocephalic?
Later on that night
She discovered the other
Head is baby-like.
Sometimes, “Baby Head”
Is more than just a nickname;
It’s a way of life
Elephant man douche
Throws up the peace sign, while
We all just throw up.
His Mom’s vagina
Looks like the Holland Tunnel
It’s real big, I says
Douchebag freakshow gets
Too weird when he refused to
Unmask during sex.
Well it could always
Be worse… He could be wearing
Juggalo face paint.
This assclown has to
Resort to this to get with
An average looks girl.
Rapist Ricardo
Calls attention away from
His freaky-ass eyes
This was a sure bet
To get laid but he looks like
Ferengi retard.
“Two bucks for my sis”
Sounds like a pretty good deal
Until face reveal
Fifth Teletubbie
– Douche – macks on a hott, backstage
J. Falwell approves.
Jane cheats on Tarzan
with Mister Clean. “He’s so much
better with his hands!”
Buddha-like douchebag
Dressed like Children of the Corn
plus M.J.’s gay glove
Jim finds out the hard
way the buffet shrimp cocktail
were cooked in their shells.
It puts its head in
The potato or it gets
The hose. The gravy hose.
She’s a sad hunchback
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Mr. Potato Head
And Chastity Bono go
Wild for Halloween.
I have a feeling
Skrillex has something to do
with this oddity.
Two dollar head guy
dazed and confused by her
lack of a penis
Two Largemen in back
heed the siren song of the
green lit Exit Sign.
Nair for CSR
Has unpleasant side effect.
He should be fed Nair.
Rocky Dennis blows
all Mask film rights cash on goose
at da clubs. Cher weeps.
Agamemnon Head
Throws up the Douche signs nightly
No Helen of Troy
Eyeliner plus bad
Hitler stache are auto douche
Trish should know better
Exposed nipple rash
is douche signifier, right?
It fuckin should be.
Ed Gein the Third picks
up where grandpa left off. Eyes
and mouth still need filled.
It’s OK Jill. All
West Virginian clubs allow
inbred bros as dates.
Agamemnon and
Ed Gein! Hunters go deep for
Esoteric poems!
FDNR, don’t forget Skrillex and Chastity Bono.
I know what Trish did
Last summer – the cheetah dress
is a bad disguise
He fills out those pants.
And by fills them out, I mean
“Baby go boom-boom.”
OshKosh B’Gosh are
the new trend this year for those
who get pooped upon
Dressing up for and
soon acting out favorite
‘Deliverance’ scene.
Respect to Bunsen
Nine vulvae in a shoe box
Gein wiki bio
The fact that Gein fits
In a bunch of our Haikus
Says he’s fucked? Or us?