Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Wednesday Limerick
There was a bar playah named Jake,
Whom Evil Yellow Sunball thought was a flake,
His shirt did unbutton,
Like a white Charles Dutton,
To impress a bar wench cut to look like Veronica Lake.
Tony the aging bartending tool.
Chin fung and exposed shaved chest, he thought he was cool.
Co-bartender Tina entertained the crowd with her wit.
But all the guys just stared at her fake tits.
Together they worked the bar every night, selling overpriced drinks to every douchebag fool.
Jake likes to grab and grope
Like an illiterate monkey dope
But Vicky, she knows
The other way he goes
In the men’s room he drops the soap
A shaved ass gibbon naked Jake
Hugs the barkeep when he goes on break
But her senses repulse
Forcing a gag impulse
‘Cause he’s a foul breathed snake
I say that’s young Ellen Barken
And I’d take her BJ, if she’d just harken
As to the chin-fung ‘Bag
Let’s find him a hag
Or two black eyes that darken
There once was a douchebone named Jake
His mom didn’t abort her mistake
So the females he bugs
With uninvited hugs
Gets shot down when he tries to mate
The background looks like stars
Just like all the other Vegas bars
What would really be cool
Is if someone clocked the Tool
Or at least ran him over with their cars
Jake says he’s friend with the DJ
Thinks this info will spark some sex play
Veronica won’t spread
‘Less he’s got some big bread
So he goes back to dancing ballet
On the table there’s a shaker of salt
On her lips was the order to halt
But the ‘Bag is daft
Like a listless raft
So he continues this groping fault.
Jake is unbuttoned, untucked
To make sure we know he’s a schmuck
He shaves his chest
Who knows ’bout the rest
To find out would surely suck
She wears a little black dress
She’s standing by a douchey mess
Give her a cattle prod
So she can light up his rod
And give this an outcome that’s best
A bartender choosing chin fung
Claims to this hott he’s quite hung
But that doesn’t matter
cuz she’s heard the chatter
about his preference for dung
,
hole
There once was an aging Barkin
Old barmaid looked for a farkin’
Ran into a bartender
With roofies in his blender
And now her monkeyhole’s barkin’
There once was a man-scaped young guido
Who secretly rocked a pink Speedo;
He macked Josephine’s young bung,
When he found “she” was hung
He commenced fellatin,’ yelling “Neato!”
After chugging fifteen apple ciders
Joey managed to get up inside her;
Her axe wound he started to lap on,
Passed out, then out came her strap-on;
He now has a sore barking spider.
A silicone barmaid named Kersey
Threw Johnny a fuck once for mercy;
He roofied her drink,
Pulled out of the pink,
And lunged up the highway called Hershey.
There once was a boy named Bruce
Who loved girls tending to loose
So he went for went for this chick
And she turned on him quick
While she fisted his prolapsed caboose.
Armondo is not quite the thinker
And his dangle makes all the girls snicker
So in lieu of hugs
He owns many butt plugs
Which explains his draw-string sphincter.
To Veronica, I would daily fap
Though she’s sullied by Jesus bling and chin strap
But I take comfort in knowing
His reputation is growing
For liking appendages inserted where dwells his crap
Young Turkman Detritus
Was in the foot the fleetest
He ran through the yard
Like a fucking retard
And said any boy’s ass I will eatest.
most people who wear big ass crosses are douchebags, amiright?
Jake thought Veronica was his type
though not usually fussy, tonite she was busy
washing her hair while Jake
ended up with a banana in his tail pipe.
When fondling a Russian whore
Plenty of Hennessy do pour
She’ll get drunk, she’ll get wet
And her vulva you’ll pet
Whilst lying on the barroom floor
This Bleeth I have seen
On this site, since a teen
She has a face
I would spray with mace
She does nothing for my peen
This open shirted fool
Over this girl does drool
Even though her snapper
Smells like the crapper
What a friggin’ J’drool
Make a limerick out a this…
Bleeth
Sheath
Akin
Foreskin
Teeth
Or a stand alone, 5-Word Limerick
Slap
Fwap
Priapism
Jism
Crap
They say brevity is the sole of wit. I’ve always looked at it as laziness.
.
Remiss
Bliss
Jump
Dump
Piss
The stand alone, 5-Word Limerick FTW. LOLZ!
Okay DW, I’m game.
.
Jacob only sought out the bleeth
Too drunk to notice his mangled sheath
For at his bris was males akin
Who did not have their foreskin
Removed by a drunk mohel with his teeth