Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Mongor In Love
Rumor has it everyone’s favorite blank-staring chromosome missing creepy-ass zombified party pud has found true love.
To quote the immortal ode to 1960s casual sex, Hair, let the sun shine in.
And by sun, I mean douche hawk.
And by shine, I mean the most awkward kiss since MJ/Lisa Marie.
I hope he’s going to Sochi for the Short Bus Olympics featuring a frustrated Black Widow terrorista who flies into a jealous rage over his complete lack of sentience.
It’s so cold out the Black Widows Wednesday bomb done didn’t blow up.
It’s so cold my wife’s lips got stuck to my junk.
It’s so cold that By-Tor ate the Snow Dog.
It’s so cold the gays aren’t marching in the Russia.
It’s so cold the Mohawk indians are growing hair. (Cultural sidenote: cause indians don’t have body hair and shit.)
It’s so cold that Putin put his shirt on.
It’s so cold that some terrorists walked out of the Knessett when the King Stephen was smack talking to anti-semites (no respect).
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It’s so cold out the family Torah started talking to my bible?
It’s so cold out I can throw coffee in the air and it evaporates.
It’s so cold my well pumps slush.
It’s so cold the sheets crack when you try to fold em damp.
Mongor channels his inner Elvis as a belated tribute to the King’s birthday. Curvy Cumswalla doesn’t know who the hell Elvis is, but is fascinated by shiny objects such as Mongor’s cell phone.
It’s so cold out, Mongor put Marv Albert’s beaver toupee on his own head to keep warm.
That is one sub-par mulatto/quadroon (respect) with one sub-par sub-human. Am I right when I say that?
Speaking of which, if you ever have the chance to sample a Quadroon Spinner, I highly recommend it. Thanks to the Genetic Vortex created by the co-mingling of the races, they often have a Snappin’ Gyro. Co-mingling, I says.
Quadroon? That is absolutely hilarious DW. Keep up the good work, Son,’
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quadroon
I bet 20,000 Quadroons on Spock.
As much as I like the quadroon theory, that nose can only have moorish spanish origins, making her mesoamerican. The result is desi-like features because it’s a similar gene clash but in the opposite hemisphere. Mongor is just a genetic catastrophe.
I think Spock banged a quintroon in one episode, or it might have been Kirk.
I’m Sofa King stoned.
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http://vinescope.com/teenaged-moms-on-instagram-and-facebook-1304.html
It was Kirk. He was like you Ratpackers the way he got laid all the time.
“Fold ‘Em Damp” is a good band name.
Son.
Some douchebags get meditative.
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http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/openforum/article/Meditation-transforms-roughest-San-Francisco-5136942.php
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And yeah, David Lynch is a douchebag. He’s really into himself and spends too much time quaffing his hair. Hallmarks of a douchebag.
I just found out who Mongor’s dad and mom are.
JD: the mom pic made me burst out laughing. Well done.
Why did I click on Jacques’ links? I’ve been around here long enough to know better.
Mongor offended by having to take a DNA test instead of a paternity test.
He failed.