Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Footbag A.J. McCarron and his Wife Confirm The Existential Vortex of a Soulless Universe

Proving the old Knute Rockne adage that the harder you play the game the more your douchey-ass tatts make nearby ferrets upchuck their partially digested acorn seed, Footbag A.J. McCarron is currently married to this delightful slice of Key Lime Hottpie.

Bro Ted in the background does not deserve to be caught in the photographic crossfire of this missmatched coupling atrocity.

Throw the flag! Ten yard holding penalty! And various other sundry football euphemisms involving tight ends and penetration draw plays that should be readily apparent to even the most novice ‘bag hunter or huntress.

But your humble narrator will not resort to such lazy verbiage. For ours is a classy website replete with only original humor.

So let me merely say that this A.J. is the douchiest A.J. since O.J. D.J’d for Jay-Z by playing the Beatles’ Blue Jay Way.

Yeah.

Okay then.

Now you know why I update HCwDB less frequently than a Hugh Hefner bowel movement.

Uhm.

Yeah.

Wanna play cards?