Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Mr. Champ Spreads the Herp

Well hello there, ye fellow ‘bag hunters, hott enthusiasts, and lovers of the mock!

It has been awhile, has it not?

I am honored, humbled, and filled with the tingliest of shmeg tickle to see that this ole’ web relic of the late aughts and early 10s still gets a little foot traffic in the age of internet Borg control and hive mind Chris Hardwick faux nerd blankness.

If, at any point, you found the hottie/douchey mock to entertain, enlighten, enrage, or another adjective that begins with “e,” I am grateful.

So let me say “Hello!”

HCwDB wrapped up in 2013 (or maybe early 2014?). I’ve been spending so much time practicing nerd chants in school cafeterias I haven’t been able to summon much strength to keep posts up these days. Certainly not as we enter the political douchepocalypse that has enveloped.

Kinda hard to find joy in the assinine foibles and bad taste of youth dating when the world is toking a shmeg pipe filled with rat poop and pumpkin seed.

But your humbs narrator is still kicking his ubiquitous red cup o’ Night Train, munching on tasty Hostess products whenever possible, raising two little HCs, and staring at the world cockeyed and bemused, or maybe more bleary eyed and vaguely nauseous. But still keepin’ on as best I can in a world of too many Aryan crypto-Nazi movie stars named Chris and not nearly enough Madchen Amick.

Perhaps obvious douchewanks with hot chicks in tow have vanished like Rollo Tomase chasing Keyser Soze.

But I’m still here.

And so is this ass tomato.

So I’ll be watching.

The mock is never dead. It just takes on new forms.