'Bag / Nottabag
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Furby Gets a Nottadouche
Good for you, hirsute red one.
Long may you party with Freshman.
Long may you run with the generic brand Vodka from Rite Aid.
Until the crap job market harshes your mellow.
Thursday, June 2, 2011Yamo Been There
I’m going full nottadouche and goinpeace for our Jamaican rasta-bro who likes to butt grind Most Expensive First Date Hotts on the dance floor.
Yamo’s Fu Manchu, dreads, tatt and stupid pants just don’t rankle, and feel aesthetically consistent for a brothabag to get away with.
So here’s your notta Yamo.
And I see what you see.
Bethany’s Mayan Eye of Coitus is both crotch-melting and bank account draining in all the most potent ways.
Saturday, May 28, 2011Bag/Nottabag? Advanced Alliteration Edition
Is Dapper Dan a Dirty Douche, Diddling Debutante Debbie, or Decidedly Devoid of Douchery?
And what of Tanned Tony with Tiny Tina?
Voice your Votes Vociferously, Valued Verbal Vigilantes!
Saturday, May 21, 2011Colonel Slanders – Bag or NottaBag?
Behold. When confronted with a full court (boobie) press by Darla and Mindy, this young man had a choice. He could have:
1.) bellowed “YARRR”, grabbed these ultra-hotts like pirate’s wenches, and burst through the bar’s greasy storefront window, flailing hornily into the foggy night, or
2.) He could have rocked an involuntary Clint Eastwood squint and prematurely besmirched his zipper area, which his cocker spaniel would later sniff as the trousers lay crumpled on the living room floor, discarded on his futile trip to make beer yodels into the mouth of the porcelain dragon…but nope.
He picked 3.) Rework his silly ass white tie into a Colonel Slanders string bowtie and serve up a bucket of original recipe Stage 1 baggery.
I would have, of course, picked option 2.
What say you all? Does the Colonel stand in judgment of proto-baggery, or is he just like one of us: a hapless victim of Thursday 2-for-1 beer specials and a miserable Friday work hangover? It’s a slippery slope. Firm slopes…supple…erm, be right back…I seem to have besmirched my zipper. Which took some mad yogurt slinging skillz, since my pants are across the room.
Thursday, May 12, 2011‘Bag / Nottabag
I put it to you, Greg.
Is Armond here a ‘bag for the douche-wear? Or do we give him a nottabag and a goinpeace?
There’s two large conceptual revelations that are distracting me…
clouding and confusing my judgment with gravitational pull…
must… figure it out…
Friday, April 1, 2011Brad Gets a Nottadouche
At first I was gonna tag Brad a full-on club choad for bothering the stripper auditions for the traveling roadshow musical theater workshop of “Showgirls: The Musical.”
But then I thought about it.
The hair? Not really douchey.
The shirt? Pretty average.
Sure Brad’s Running with the Goose and making a hand gesture, but all in all, it’s just not enough to tag him as a douche.
So here’s your nottadouche and goinpeace, Brad.
Friday, March 25, 2011Tony Parker: ‘Bag / Nottabag?
NBA something or other Tony Parker, former husband of a desperate housewife, isn’t overtly that douchey.
So I put it to you. ‘Bag? Or Nottabag?
Thursday, January 27, 2011‘Bag / Nottabag: The Jordanbag
What say you?
The case against: Sports jerseys are not auto-douche. No hand gestures. Regular cap wearing. General slacker-face but no signs of douche-face.
The case for: Idiotic Asian tribal tatt. Anyone who decides to wear, out of all NBA players, picks the obvi Jordan jersey. The ubergnaw qualities of Heather, the hottest older sister of the hot chick who just graduated Westerburg High.
Granted, the level of hottness of the chick is not allowed to be considered as a case for douchery on the part of the ‘bag.
So I put it to you, Greg. Is the tribal tatt enough?
‘Bag? Or Nottabag?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010‘Bag / Nottabag: The Hoff
What say you?
Performative leniency for the genius of Knight Rider?
Or too many chest bearing skeezoffs to excuse under Leniency Rules?
