Barbaggery
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Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Jodie Lets Mr. Neckfunguous Buy Her a Beer, Wears his Mandana
Jodie, the sweet giggle bobble who sat next to you in Chem 2 junior year, is now out of school and working as a temp in Milwaukee.
Sadly, she now hangs out at the “Roadhouse Inn” to earn her street cred bonafides. And tries desperately to forget the suburban malaise of her high school years and her three year relationship with Scott, and before that Kevin.
So she lets Mr. Neckfunguous buy her a beer. And dons his mandana with giggley aplomb.
The Bleething has begun. But you can only watch from afar, reduced to a Facebook voyeur/quasi-stalker. And you can only hope she’ll pull out of the nose dive before neckfunguous progresses to crotchfunguii.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012Meg and Hipster Skeet both have landing strips
But, alas, I can only show you one on this family-oriented website.**
In keeping with the correctional-institutionalized-bag theme of today, Skeet is celebrating his release from a 60-day stint in County impersonating a Mr. Norville Rogers with intent to meddle. His great dane is still in the pound, though.
**However, feel free to tune in later for a very special HCwDB After Dark, jailbird edition. And by “very special” I mean “pear-laden”.
Thursday, July 12, 2012Call-Me-Guy Lays an Ethereal Turd
Beach Bunny Bonnie wouldn’t be amused if not for the four Fuzzy Navels plied on her by Call-Me-Guy during happy hour. And by plied on her, I mean forced intravenously at gun point. I know it seems like a tall tale to believe gun violence took place shortly before this pic was taken. But Call-Me-Guy continues to work on deep rooted rage issues ever since mommy threw away Blinkie when he was two.
Thursday, May 10, 2012The Choadal Nachos Bother Librarian Ellie
I’m at the point of throwing my librarian fetish into the dustbin of history.
That place where discarded former boobie hottie suckle thigh hotttributes
reside.
Like when I had that thing for thong reveal back in 2000 before Christina Aguilera made me never want to eat ham soup again.
Or my deep pre-pubescent childhood attraction to women who wore tons of eye makeup and red cheekbone rouge after seeing Michelle Pfeiffer in “Into the Night” on HBO in 1987.
Yup. The herpsters are killing my librarian glasses fetish. This is not a good development.
Monday, April 23, 2012Douchewanks Say What?
The Poo Tip
Oh, sure, you can chortle at the plaid-clad Poo Tip…but he’ll be swabbin’ her ear wax, if you know what I mean.
I think that was a single entendre…
Monday, February 6, 2012Molester Mitch Approves of the HCwDB of the Week
Molester Mitch approves of anything that distracts while he employs “accidental butt brush fondle” strategy on barely legal bartender butt.
Monday, January 2, 2012Mexico Hates This Guy
In Tijuana, they have a local expression for this guy.
“Douchebag.”
Paid-to-Pose Hannah, she of potential Semitic Librarian Woo Hott status, hopes to someday be a cosmonaut and work in a beauty parlor.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011Why You Never Hang Out at the I-Bar Anymore
Once they hired Tony and put Journey in the jukebox so the B&T crowd could faux-karaoke to “Faithfully,” it was all over.
Kimmy’s just paying her way through pre-law. She thought it was pre-med. What’s the difference?
Thursday, October 27, 2011The Dude Who Works at Big Wangs on Cahuenga Spends His Paycheck
You know that dude who works at Big Wangs on Cahuenga? Ever wonder how quickly he can blow his weekly paycheck of $235 during a drunken night out on Sunset chasing Paid-to-Post shots girl Mindy and Caroline?
Answer: 63 minutes.
And yes, there’s a wings and beer place in Hollywood named “Big Wangs.” It’s why my soul atrophies by the hour.
