Boobies
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Friday, February 25, 2011
Boobies and Stupid Glasses
I’m not sure which clubvelopment of 2011 confuses me more.
The recent development for the Hotts to ditch clothing all together and go with paint/sticker boob reveal, or slotted sunglasses that look like a leftover cucoloris used to light the set of American Gigolo.
The glasses? Standard douchewear.
The boob reveal? Now I am as big a boobal aesthetic appreciator of spectatorship as the guy on the subway who drools on himself and shouts about Castro. But too much reveal, while appreciated on a lizard brain level, also does not establish a contextual eros. Therefore, I must rule: Too much reveal = Bleeth. For there is sensual cleavite reveal. And then there is tape on the nip.
Thursday, January 27, 2011Skullz McGee Likes Boobies
And, well, it’s really hard to argue with him. He’s got a good point.
Even if he does have shaved chin pubes of epic stupidity.
Pouty Brenda’s pout evokes bluebirds chipping on sunlit morn, and suggests there’s a fantastic perfect Pi of Asspear curvature awaiting at sundown.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011The Starry Blight Classes It Up
Our 2010 Douchie Award winner for Douchiest Tatt, The Starry Blight, aka The King of Sears, doesn’t always hang with Hello Kitty Hott and a gaggle of ‘bags by the pool.
Sometimes, The Starry Blight likes to class up the joint. All with a tie on and shizz. Looking like a gangster Soviet-era meth dealer on Ambien.
Hello Kitty Hott is all that is contradictorially Bleethy/Hott in the douchadox.
Thursday, January 20, 2011Sad Bonzo
There’s no excuse to be sad when faced with Blue Eyed Bosom, Sad Bonzo.
None.
You’re not really a douche, Sad Bonzo. Probably shouldn’t be on the site.
But hey. Bosom.
And by bosom, I mean fertile flesh gnaw slappy boinger ski-slope happy whee.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011Chatroulette Douche Sees Boobies For The First Time
A narrative in the classic three act structure with character development, anticipation, set up, plot twist revelation and thematic resolution.
As taught by noted screenwriting guru, author Sid Field.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011Bree Solves All
Maybe I’ve been too cranky today. So to cheer us up, here’s HCwDB Hott legend, Bree (she of Fish Slap Hottie/Douchey cohabit), one of Bree’s slutty hott friends, and Brothabag Freddie. Who needs to eat more bran.
The Gods Love Boobia
Because, every so often, you just gotta say “What the rack.”
Wednesday, October 13, 2010Alyssa’s Boobies Power Priuses
I don’t know how annoying a douche Teddy douchechamp really is. A stage-2 bar choader at best, in the Fred Durst oeuvre.
But Alyssa’s pale, delectable cleavite is a rare and inviting delicacy of wanton lust and powerpuff slappy tap.
A small tribe in Guinea once built a shrine to honor the bounciness of Alyssa’s curves, but the Tribal Elder, K!chu, demanded it be torched and never spoken of again.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010Pouty Karl
Hipsterbag Karl doesn’t like being presented with perfect pillowy bounce-quartery spheres of semi-globbic perfection.
Instead, he likes to wear rosary beads.
And pout.
And for that, he deserves our mock.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010Fwippy Joe
Between yesterday’s Pete Rocker Horns and today’s Fwippy Joe, it’s about time we got some real world stage-1 puds back on the site to mock.
And sexy mom Caroline. You don’t think you can compete with the latest crop of 19 year old Woo Hotties. But I would reassure you by softly humming Philip Glass harmonics through a straw, and then spritzing lime juice on your thighs using only a Windex bottle and a group of Quakers via satellite link to offer spiritual judgment and disapproving glares.
