Clubaggery
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Friday, May 27, 2011
Between a Schmuck and a Soft Place (Hermit Edition)
Resident auteur supreme Hermit shares with us this cautionary tale:
When Chaturi left her native Sri Lanka for the United States on a ninety day student visa, she dared not reveal to her strictly traditional parents that she hoped to meet a nice American boy. She now finds herself flanked by Bruce, who oddly shows no interest in her perky, push-up booble cleavage, and Vince who does, but smells of Aqua Velva and false confidence.
She’s quickly becoming homesick.
Thursday, May 12, 2011Chimpy McWhack
Greasy, kissy lipped and serving as a man chair is no way to go through life, Son.
Kelly’s besties will be giggling about this all through summer classes at Iowa State, so laugh it up now, Chimpy McWhack. Laugh it up now.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011Sharon Tugs Her Skirt, Gerry Tucks his Cig
I’m not sure what’s going on in this pic. We have fine taut female boobie hottie suckle thigh mixed with ducklips.
We’ve got fauxhawk and cig-ear on Gerry, both stage 2 violations.
We’ve got pleather 80s jacket and zombie dance pose.
Meanwhile, Stockbroker Morty chills in the back and sips a Heineken.
I’m confused. Time to microwave a burrito and chew things over.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011Scarf Bernie Isn’t Interested in Women Making out
Sign #65 of severe scrotebaggery: More interested in the camera observing you observing women making out than in actually observing women making out.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011Beware the Blue Feather Hottie
The Zoastrians predict that a Blue Feather Hottie bearing the Mayan Eye of Coitus will someday mate with Gozer the Destroyer of Worlds to form a Stay Puft D.J. Asswipe with dog tags and stupid belt.
Or I could be getting my sophomore year ancient religions class mixed up with 80s movies references again.
Which has been happening to me ever since I took Introduction to Quantum Bueller II Freshman year.
Monday, April 18, 2011Jesus Chest Guy and Buff Kimberly Voted
Your standard issue Jesus Chest Guy and Buff Kimberly decided to drop by and vote in the HCwDB of the Month.
Have you voted yet?
Monday, April 11, 2011The Chippenbros Approve
Not only do the Chippenbros approve of The Tardopoulous Bros winning the HCwDB of the Week, they also approve of sentences that involve only one and two syllable words.
Barely Legal Kate doesn’t know it yet, but her ballet career was never really a viable career option.
Thursday, March 31, 2011The Greasepitz Pump Each Other Up (Via Stacy)
Woke up.
Fell out of bed.
Dragged a comb across my hea-… GAH!!!
Still out there.
Still pretending to be interested in tasty bottle blonde giggle gnaws like Stacy.
Still smelling like shoeleather and displaying toxic Groin Shave Reveal.
Too much too early. I blame last night’s tasty microwave Trader Joes burritos for this pic. And my poo.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011Maceo Discovers His Thumb
Maceo like thumb.
It help him pee.
Kendra has crazy eyes. But don’t pretend it wouldn’t stop you from buying her a fourteen dollar Mai Tai. Because it wouldn’t. And you know it.
Thursday, March 3, 2011Bullet Barry Fondles the Suzy Pear
The increasing trend for bagwear to feature bullets, bloody gunshots, or various other overpriced, silkscreened examples of violent conflict, is simply 2011’s answer to the previous iteration we knew as “Unearned Dog Tags.”
Suzy Pear has dressed up for a night on the town. She deserves better than to have her firm glutes grabbed by a pudwack whose closest brush with armed conflict was the time his Mexican gardener, Gomez, shouted at him to move his car so he could leaf-blow the driveway.
Mmm… Suzy Pear. I forgive you. Now come to me. Let me blow spit bubbles softly towards your lower calf area while you yawn and watch Oprah.
