Clubaggery

    Monday, January 17, 2011

    Carla and “The Bros” ™

    “The Bros” ™ follow three rules in life, and only three rules:

    1. Wherever they go, they travel together. Even Sabio’s studio apartment when he’s tweakin’ the booty bump.

    2. Shirtlessness at all times is a priori de facto word up, yo.

    3. Transcendental meditation is but the gateway to the Godhead, the glorious om can never be verbalized or conceived, only experienced.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, January 4, 2011

    Signs of the Impending Apocalypse #43

    Some say a thousand dead birds falling out of the sky is a sign of the impending apocalypse.

    I say it’s eurobag crypo-gay chest shave revealing sparkly shirts being worn by pseudo-model asswipes in presence of drunk boozy hottie suckle thigh.

    So sayeth in the immortal predictions by Nostradouchemas in his epic four part Book of the ‘Bag.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Monday, January 3, 2011

    Captain Shnook

    Ah yes, from Senior Year, we all remember reading The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinated Chin Fung.

    The Barbara Sisters rang in the New Year in style — with awkward and unwanted gropes in the kitchen by Captain Shnook’s harpoons.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 23, 2005

    Friday Haiku

    Snarl DoucheDuck Face? Aw Hell Naw.
    Tool-Bag introduces the
    Courtney Love Vag-Face…

    ***The Mock is small but STRONG this cycle, alert readers; much like storied pro wrestler Igor Putksi. Son. In a hard choice, Vin D wins the InterWebs because of the Kafka-esque hopelessness of his acerbic post…

     

    The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
    They smell like those pork
    Sausages with the fancy
    Names Portuguese.

    hermit said…
    Semitic trio
    Has a real reason to fear
    Midget ISIS dude

    Vin Douchal said…
    Daffy Duck poses
    Chicks will laugh at photobomb
    ‘Til job interview

    Charles Douchewin said…
    Meanwhile, backstage
    the Bona Killahs pose with
    their number one fan.

    The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
    It puts the fist on
    The chin, or it gets the
    Hose. Filthy bitch hose.

    Vin Douchal said…
    Background dudes all stunned
    Paid for these Bleeths drinks all night
    Cabbie takes them home

    Charles Douchewin said…
    Joe Plaidman is on
    a mission. A mission to
    locate the exit.

    Jacques Doucheteau said…
    Dan puts on a stiff
    upper lip, it’s the only
    thing he can get stiff.

    The Dude said…
    Three hotts that look like
    Ariella Ferrera!?
    Tool-Bag will get ditched.

    # posted by admin
    Thursday, March 10, 2005

    Teenage (fondling) Mutant Ninja Turdle

    release the krakenLeoTardo unveils his Pink Flail attack to Marcie, whose dad will soon be searching for a length of hemp rope and a sturdy rafter.

    That’s my caption…what’s yourn?

    # posted by admin
    Monday, February 28, 2005

    Sexy Sadie with Two Dim Shadies

    whatevs
    Oh Sexie Sadie…caught between the poles (literally) of Perma-Lose and WallStreet Douche…can you blame your Sicilian Carnivore WingGirl from walking away in disgust/self-loathing jealousy? We too are jealous…O that alibaster Elvira skin…

    Posts have been sparse in this wormhole into 2005…Spinal Meningitis is calming down and the Socklets will soon ship back to the Present Ex-Mrs. Sock so salad days will soon return. Until then…here’s a pair o’ pears.

    Just hang in there as I make the necessary adjustments.

    # posted by admin
    Tuesday, February 15, 2005

    toungeholioTongueHolio grubs the tautness of Jen’s tummy and mocks you with his eyes, through the pristine lens of those designer shades which he was sure to leave the tag on. So, you know, you’d understand he dropped an entire 6 shifts of busboy pay on them.  Same reason he hangs his $200 drawers out his $12 Dockers.  Because that was the only thing in the store besides that new Chest Lettuce within his reach.

    ToungeHolio also has a DefCon 4 scalp goiter about to burst.

    O the myriad ways to burst it…

    # posted by admin
    Sunday, February 13, 2005

    Time for America’s favorite new gameshow…

    This tranny tastes bad…SMELMA FANGER!

    Posit your guesses of possible digital odiferousness, as ever, in the comments section.

    ********

    Et Tu Douche? said…

    Smells like Pad Thai & shame?

    The Price Is Low?

    Jacques Doucheteau said…

    Smells like Indian food and menstruation.

    Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…

    Post-surgical pus drainage and KY jelly?

    hermit said…

    Who Wants to Bang a Hundredaire?

    Wheel of Abortion?
    # posted by admin
    Friday, February 4, 2005

    YoBro tells Pia to stop staring into the microwave

    pia zadora with hat tilt bag

    10 degree hat tilt? Check.

    Douchie wrist acoutrement? Check.

    Stupid $200 sh!t-wrapper of a t-shirt? Check

    Smug millennial trust-fund scowl for his brah’s Instagram? Check.

    Fish-Slap demeanor?  Chickity-Check.  Yo.

    Check, please.

    Sweetie, you can do better.  It’s written in that sniff-poo look on your pretty mug.  

    But you choose not to. Hence we mock.

    # posted by admin
    Saturday, January 29, 2005

    DAMN YOU, KING ALCOHOL!

    I hate...shows off his mom
    O yes.

    We’ve all been there. Countless Jack n’ Cokes…then…you spot her. The flaxen-haired fair goddess that meets your gaze.

    You exchanges glances. Dances. She accompanies you home to your mother’s basement (It’s only temporary, Doll; c’mon down and check it out…)

    Then you wake up to THIS.

    Share your tawdry tales, as e’er, in the comments section. And prepare to squint your mind’s eye.

    O…The horror…

    # posted by admin
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