Douchepose
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Thursday, April 5, 2012
- Fish Slap’s “special friend”;
- Carnie Wilson’s daughter;
- The ‘bag filled with regret over his drunken decision to french kiss a wounded bobcat
Corner corner corner chameleons…they come and go
Okay, baghunters – can you spot:
Please enter your wagers, as ever, by clicking on the comments link.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012Holdin' Down The Fort…
Still no sign of DB1’s whereabouts…Sammy SpankWell and his two sisters Irene and Darlene have not seen him for days at The Golden Udder Gentleman’s Club, where he would often pay his way with organic llama milk. They are concerned. And lactose intolerant. There are whisperings of DB1 returning to the llama mines of Laos, where he once made the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs, which is impressive.
Perhaps it is time for an intervention for this unhealthy attraction to hoofed creatures…
Neigh, I say, for that would be hypocritical of me.
We shall stay the course, Mr. Spankwell. Now, if I may have a moment with Irene…
Monday, April 2, 2012Jack Smellington and his Korner Chameleons Disapprove of Vinnie DP's Loss to Enrique…
Escaped Laundry Gimp Jack Smellington disapproves of Enrique’s trouncing of his home-skillet Vinnie for the weekly, and to a lesser extent, so do his suicide grrlz.
However, after summarily dismissing this Incredible Sulk I would then offer to console Raven Mid-Riff and Raccoon-Eyed Susan with a good ol’ fashioned Kraft Mayonnaise rub-down, just like my Uncle used to give all us tykes before he was sent up to the Mississippi Nervous Hospital at Whitfield.
Now begone, Jack Smellington…nobody puts boobies in a corner.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012Vinnie Doublepump Finds Brunettes on the Dance Floor
Vinnie Doublepump may be vying for the “Most Unworthy Nineteen Year Old of 2012” award at the 2012 Douchie Awards.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012Vinnie Doublepump
Vinnie Doublepump occupies that abhorrent location in the mating game in which Barely Legal Kelly is:
1) From a small town
2) Not that intelligent
3) Too young to know better
The result is toxic sludge served in grade school cafeterias.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012Manuel Acts Indifferent in Presence of Cleavite Arch
Stone-face all you want, Manny. We know where your gaze has drifted behind those sunglasses.
Monday, February 20, 2012Dream Skeever
Inside Dream Skeever is a boy who just wants to be loved.
By two chicks at the same time.
Yup, it’s movie reference Monday.
Thursday, February 16, 2012Norway By Norwestway
Yeah I’m down to Hitchcock references. Because my supply of Trader Joes Joe-Joes is of woefully low row.
Jan Largemaan is both bemused and unamused at the same time.
Pink pants for the Scandanavian tragedy.
What’s Olav up to, you ask? Don’t ask.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012Not Peaches
There is only one Peaches.
But since your humble narrator is amped up on caffeine and tasty processed flavored sugar snack cakes, lets all celebrate some random pear:
Because I’m generous like that.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012Goldilocks and The Three Beards
Oh Katie on the far right, how I see your joyful glee. Like September rain or another stupid 80s song, I take you for karaoke and wine shooters until you have to go pee, and the bathroom is too dirty, and so we wander the streets of Minneapolis and make out by a mailbox.
And then I go home.
For the stains of Marty’s facial pubes are uponst your neck, and the tragedy is too much for me to overcome. Even as you cry a plaintive “Woo!” in the distance as I walk away.
