Douchepose
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Tuesday, October 25, 2011
“Taint that a Douchebag”
Well there’s a douchebag, in a bathroom
Listenin’ to a hip-hop station,
He’s got a greasy hair, greasy smile
He says, “Lord my crabs itch, from masturbation”…
‘Cause they told me, when I was younger
Said, “Boy you’re gonna be a D.J.”
But just like everything else, those old crazy dreams
dropped like my pants…
Oh, but taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag, somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, home of the free, yeah
Little pink thong butts for you and me
Oh built baby for you and me
And there’s a hot chick, with bad judgment,
What do she know know know,
She hates her daddy, and her mommy,
Goes to work in some night club,
And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico… ooo yeah
And there’s dumb tatts, and there’s hat tilt
But they ain’t no big deal
‘Cause the simple douche, baby, can’t pay the thrills
The bills, the pills that cure chylamidia…
Oh, but taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag, somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, home of the pee, yeah
Little pink thongbutts for you and me, ooo
Ooo yeah
Taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag,hey with somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, oh, the home of the free, ooo yeah yeah yeah
Little pink thong butts made for you and me
Ooo yeah, ooo yeah!….
Marty Moocow Teaches Amanda to Flex
When the Hardpocalypse explodes across a Juicehead’s body and clothes like so much Star Trekian lip herp, it’s time to consider for the HCwDB of the Week.
When Amanda counterpoints with Mayan Eye of Coitus, the dialectic is complete.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011The Moocow Brothers Flex for Amanda and Tonya
Classic inflata-douchebaggery in presence of tasty strawberry flavored hot chicks.
Guy Passerbie is not amused.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011Guy Who Flips Off Camera With Hot Chick Guy
It’s like that fortune I got at Bamboo House last night:
“Guy Who Flip Off Camera With Hottie Some Day Flip Hottie with Camera Off.”
They just don’t write fortunes like they used to.
Cue random Bruce Leroy footage.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011Pop Quiz: Flingers at a Pool Party
Two Flingers find themselves in the presence of tasty taught Giggle Ladies With Daddy Issues (GLwDI) at a sunset pool party. Do they:
A. Decide to make conversation meant to get to know the Giggle Ladies on a better and more personal level
B. See if they’d like any additional food and beverages, and make inquiries as to if they’re getting cold and would like to stand closer to the portable heater lamps
C. Recount erudite anecdotes from their last academic conference attended
D. Give the middle finger to a nearby camera
Answer now.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011Randy Doggiebaggin Pretends to Like Stacy
Sure Randy Doggiebaggin will demonstrate his patented Doggie ‘Baggin’ move on Stacy when cameras are present.
That’s for appearances.
But it’s only during Private Bro Time that Randy can truly get chizzle.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011Billy Von Buren Fist Pumps His Lack of Future
Just think, by his mid 40s, that tatt of Italy will slowly morph into the shape of Weimar republic Germany, thereby justifying Alfred Wegener’s theories of tectonic shift.
As well as The “Fegelein theories” currently taking place in Hitler’s bunker.
Speaking of tectonic shift, Future SUV Driving Long Island Mom Sandra lets out a rebel yell. She wants more, more, more. BMWs.
Monday, August 22, 2011The Chernobros Stare At You
Bug Sunglasses and tri-level facial pubes just nadsacked the baby Jesus with a wetnap.
These two nuclear meltdowns of douchebroery are all that is wrong in Bethlehem.
Meanwhile, Cathy bronzes away the inevitable as long as she can.
And society weeps.
Time for Malomars.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011Laker Melloni Continues the Trend of Least Creative ‘Bag Hand Gesture #1
As Mr. Scrotato Head observed in handing out the 2010 Douchie Award for Douchiest Hand Gesture, the once complex gang signs, peace signs and Shockers have given way in recent years to the stupidest of all stupid gestures.
Here we see yet another of water inspired inflatadouchery in inglourious basterdian action.
Even Jenny’s getting in on the numbnutsery.
Woe is the day I thought I’d long for even The Peaches Point over this lameness.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011Vinny and the French Ticklers
Interesting historical footnote, “Vinny and the French Ticklers” was the first name of 80s supergroup, “Menudo.”
