Douchepose
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Thursday, July 28, 2011
The Portrait of Dorian’s Abs
Ab reveals in bathroom self portraits.
Still out there.
Still puking blue on Picassos.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011The T.S.A.’s New “Shocker Enforcement Policy”
Don’t worry, it only applies to Bleeths in leopard print bathing suits and tools in rayon pants.
This whole scene reeks of wannabe gangsta throwing Eurotrash flush. Lets move on.
Thursday, July 21, 2011The Broctopus Is Still Checking His Abs
Yeah, I know.
You thought by now The Broctopus and Melinda would’ve at least gone out to the parking lot so he could show her the tricked out Ford Fusion he’s leasing and like not with his mom’s Amex Card even though that’s what Melinda heard from her friend Allie.
Nope.
Still checkin’ the abs.
Only this time he’s smart and all, what with the glasses.
While all poor Asian Kevin wants to do is order a Corona Light.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011The Broctopus Strikes!
Observe the Broctopus in its native habitat — Overpriced Airport Bar #423.
The Broctopus knows that impressing Melinda with its six pack abs can take place at any moment. If the PH balance is right, and you lower the Axe Bodyspray ratio to a suboptimal 1.5 parts per quanta.
Thursday, June 23, 2011Pointdexter Makes his Point
Yes Pointdexter. There is a camera there.
The fact you find it more interesting than Andrea’s chompable butt glute cakey cake purity and firm and ripened slather melons suggests you need to reconfigure the hierarchies of your conceptualized priorities in terms of how you structure reality.
Start here:
Strippery butt reveal > nearby camera guy
Monday, June 20, 2011Turds With Crotch Skulls Bother Rachel
The cast of CSI: Albequerque just doesn’t have that je ne sais quoi, now does it.
And no, that is not Ice-T with Coco. Perhaps Mint Julep with Cayenne pepper.
Thursday, June 9, 2011Slumdog Hundredaire
Workin’ the night shift at Arby’s pays MAD cash, yo!!
I haven’t been this disturbed since 1970s Tom Baker Doctor Who played with alien blob penis.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011American Lick
Now we know what our Founding Fathers fought for.
The freedom to mock douchewank with golden unearned dog tags in presence of Kimmy Swimmer Hott.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011Desmond’s Tutu
There’s a back story here involving a dead billionaire’s will, a buxom blonde in a corvette, sixteen piglets and a wacky sign language making chimpanzee named “Willie.”
Unfortunately, I taped over that VHS tape when I was 10. Because “Just One of the Guys” was on HBO.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011Doggie ‘Baggin: You’re Doing It Wrong
Doggie Baggin’, The Douchie Winning ‘Bag Move of 2008, returns. Only this time, in gender inverted form.
Noted gender theorist and philosopher Judith Butler sees this framework as challenging normative understandings of sexualized performativity in the public sphere. Habermas by way of Foucault.
Or she just thinks it’s goofy.
