Douchepose
-
Monday, May 2, 2011
Ellen Tags the Kissyface
Okay, this site was never big on too much real world reality stuff, so lets get back to what we do best.
Appreciating Ellen mocking Ken’s Kissyface.
Yeah, it’s not superdouchey. But it’s a Monday. Gotta save the Vegas toxic stuff for the afternoon.
Thursday, April 21, 2011Johnny McJohn’s Scarf Fail
But on the plus side, if this New York cookiewank ever decides to go scarf bungee jumping, this might happen.
Coy Elena, her of the downtown poetry readings and cute studio apartment, deserves better. I would buy her tasty rounds of soup dumplings at the downtown Joe’s Shanghai, then provide over an hour of awkward and limited conversation about my analyst before she quickly called a cab and I headed over to The Sugo Bar next to Supper to drown my sorrows in some single malt.
Thursday, April 7, 2011Otterhead Makes Yet Another Redundant Point
Perhaps I’m making a redundant point about The Redundant Point.
But it’s a redundant point about The Redundant Point which actually reinforces its point by repeatedly repeating the redundancy of the Redundancy of the Point. Which is the point.
Which means it really isn’t redundant at all. The point about the Point. Not the Point.
Thursday, April 7, 2011Alex Rodweenus Makes “The Redundant Point”
Okay maybe I’m pissed that the Red Sox are the most craptastically overhyped disappointment since JarJar nuked the fridge, so I’m gonna take it out on Yankee Fan #2 here.
Yeah, you, Billy.
We haven’t properly mocked the Redundant Douche Point in awhile. So it’s worth making this salient point about our photographically obsessed culture once again.
No need to point at said Hot Chick.
We know.
Your restatement of the obvious + smug face (+ Yankee cap) = stage-2 douche violation. Your z-neck shirt makes you shoescrape.
Thursday, March 31, 2011Marty The Douchey Picture Frame Guy
If you ever wondered what the picture would look like that comes with a picture-frame bought in a really douchey-ass picture frame store, now you know.
Larry from Three’s Company wants his patented chest hair reveal back.
Tasty young Consuela has nowhere to run from this gringo onslaught. Next thing she knows, they’re sharing a Snuggie.
EDIT: Turns out Marty the Douchey Picture Frame Guy has a second job as one of the morning D.J.s on Washington D.C.’s Sports Junkies radio show. In case the douchey picture frame modeling business dries up.
Thursday, March 31, 2011Hyman Lickowitz
Hyman Lickowitz has one thing to say to the kids: Dry, lifeless hair can take the fun out of your life. But you can put it back with Brylcreem!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011Markie Demonstrates Performative Asswankery is Real Douchescroterty
It’s all ironic Jersey Shore dress-up until you realize the star tatt is forever.
Tasty bleethy Champagne Carly’s kissy lips make the Baby Jesus heimlich a nun then bitch slap a porpoise.
Which is just mean. Because porpoises are mammals. I mean really, Baby Jesus.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011Text Harrison
So as we come down from the monthly, here’s a friendly tip: Texting while picture posing with the girls from the local trade school = autodouche.
Now granted Text Harrison was already autodouche. But the larger point about texting needed to be made.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011Once More Into the Bleach
There are many ways Douche and Bleeth can entertain themselves at the Jerzey shore.
They can flex and pose, as we see here.
The can practice lifts.
Or they can repose with a tasty Bud Light Lime on a flexy boat net.
Apologies for the lack of hott, these pics amused me too much not to run, so to make up for it, have some Glorious Soccer Pear.
Monday, September 20, 2010Vlad the Inhaler
For years, historians wondered.
What was the secret of Vlad’s potency with the finely peared ladies?
Was it Vlad’s patented “shirt over neck” maneuver?
Three inches of undies poke?
Ubiquitous Red Cup?
Or the power of douche face?
The answer: Licky Nip.
