Dumbass
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Monday, September 20, 2010
Vlad the Inhaler
For years, historians wondered.
What was the secret of Vlad’s potency with the finely peared ladies?
Was it Vlad’s patented “shirt over neck” maneuver?
Three inches of undies poke?
Ubiquitous Red Cup?
Or the power of douche face?
The answer: Licky Nip.
Thursday, September 16, 2010Wet Vac America
Oh, just turned 18 Tracy.
Your tie-died Fratboy Phish-listening 80s sunglasses wearing clownfriends who just took a Bayer aspirin with an “X” crudely cut into it that someone wearing wings sold to them for $22 dollars by the water station are shwicky douchepud.
Your firm, petite melonic melonball firmness deserves to be groped by better hands.
You are clearly stage-2 or even a stage-3 Bleeth, and there isn’t much time to spare. I will read you Balzac and then ask to dust your ankles with a feather duster.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010Battle Beyond the Tards
Who will win this battle of finely sculpted chin pubes and hair grease for the three Trampy Hott’s sexy hearts (and by hearts, I mean boobs)?
The battle will be epic. And by epic, I mean strangely cartoonish.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010Venus Hairtrap
The El Paso “Injuns and Icecream” Swap Meet hadn’t seen this much excitement since Bertha broke her hip at the Bingo tournament.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005Fraiku – November Reign Edition
Jenna must sulk with might;
Her swarthy chesticles are
Eclipsed by Man-Pecs…
