Eurobag
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Friday, August 19, 2011
Aging Andy Points Out the Obvious
Shaved pecs, moob shirts and bothering confused Nordic Scandanavian transfer students is no way to go through life, son.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011Gruber and Milya Listen to Autobahn Ja?
boom siss boom siss boom siss boom siss….
When ze rhythm hits ze sternum, Gruber cannot be responsible for ze desire to remove his shirt, Ja? He blames ze music. An ze Jews.
NOTE: The editors of HCwDB would like to apologize for making the lazy, obvious and not particularly creative joking assumption that Germans are still anti-Semites nearly seven decades after electing Adolph Hitler as their chosen messiah. This type of lazy and substandard stereotype humor has no place at HCwDB. The editors promise to avoid such lazy humor in the future. If all the Armenians in Glendale would just learn to drive properly on the 134, this never would’ve hapened.
Thursday, August 4, 2011Reader Mail: Slovakian Douchery
Gregor Bagsa writes in with a horrifying discovery of global douche plague:
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Subject: Douching it up in Slovakia (YouTube video)
The taint is strong in Slovakia. Yes, the girls are a bit bleethed but, anyway, it definitely meets the requirements starting :09 seconds and continuing unabated ’till the end. Bonus bizzaro cross-dressing suppressed homoerotic spin the bottle scene thrown in for good measure near the end.
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Talentless, European and Douchey is no way to go through life, kids. That video mades my nethers twitch, and not in that good sugar rush kinda way.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011Marty Fungenstein Would Like to Sell You A Shake Weight
It’s only slightly used.
Monday, June 20, 2011Melki Wears an Emo Scarf in Dusseldorf
Nothing impresses Anya, former groupie for Autobahn, quite like the emo scarf.
Saturday, April 2, 2011Ze Hipsterbăghen
Proving that Hipsterbaggery is the most potent form of douche in 2011, note how it continues to spread across much of Nordic Europe like a Lohan herp sore.
Sven Twitters expressionist poetry free verse. Frau Gretel will spank you for having impure bloodlines.
And in a followup HCwDB story, Thursdays’ Marty the Douchey Picture Frame Guy provoked a lively discussion of all things HCwDB on Washington D.C.’s Sports Junkies. (starts about 6 minutes in)
And, a little bit later, when the hott calls in and realizes she’s dating a radiobag. (2 min in)
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Sven and Silvia say, “Welcome to Olten-Zofingen!”
“Ze whistle is for when ze party is truly out of ze control!”
Meanwhile, Woody Allen contemplates suing Sven and Silvia for illegally stealing the set design for the brain sequence from 1972’s Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask. What? Too obscure?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011Sven Counts to Two
Although, technically, so is Julie.
Using her boobs.
I needed to spell that joke out.
Because it’s early, and your humble narrator is scratchy.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011Jan Lärggmän Watches
Even in Minsk, where Hottie/Douchey siblings cohabit in creepy and genetically inappropriate ways, there is Jan Lärggmän.
Who watches without watching.
And knows.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011Abstract Excretionism
That reminds me.
Did I remember to calcify the beachwood this morning?
And no, calcify the beachwood is not a euphemism for playing with the shminkydink. It is a metaphor for a hermeneutic muffin cross-spliced with a Vulcan turd.
