Evil Yellow Sunball
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Friday, August 12, 2016
Assmodious Von Shmegmoid Drinks Victoria’s Soul
Completing my half-assed, mailed in, one-post-a-month “Shmegma” trilogy here at Hot Chicks with Douchebags, please enjoy this creepy emo tattmodel scrotechoad using alien superpowers to drain the purity of Victoria’s dropped-out-of-Bennington-just-moved-to-the-city-like-OMG soul.
Scientific name: Twatmondious assmodious
This puke-onymous genetic hybrid splicing is equal parts generic model dude from Sex and the City, the overly constructed pseudo-outrageousness of overpaid hack screenwriter and post-Nerdist nepotist-beneficiary douchewank Max Landis, and the neo-pointilist postmodern abstract art of Jon Thompson. This idiocratic lizard stain fart punches llama poop with the joie de vivre of Airplane’s Robert Hays passively raping Mork & Mindy’s Pam Dawber in a TV movie from 1980.
Too many embedded links in a run-on sentence on a badly dated blog that hasn’t been relevant in five years?
Okay then, how about Douche Baby?.
Look, man, I know I haven’t updated in awhile but I got fi’ kids to feed! Ah yes, classic action movies. When men were men. And racist stereotypes served as delightful comic relief.
Monday, December 16, 2013Clown Larry
Evil Yellow Sunball has been around. Back in the 70s, EYS did blow off a rhinoceros’s balls with Marienne Faithful to protest the Khmer Rouge.
So Evil Yellow Sunball knows what’s up.
And Evil Yellow Sunball knows that there’s a Clown Larry at every party.
The bro with not enough to say, but too much energy to say it.
A douche in every pot, if you will.
Semitic Shoshanna is today’s victim.
Tomorrow? It could be you.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013Evil Yellow Sunball Don't Get Paid Enough For This Crap
If Evil Yellow Sunball gotta sit around and watch any more of this then Evil Yellow Sunball might have to smack a bitch. And by bitch, Evil Yellow Sunball means a female dog.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013Evil Yellow Sunball Demands Pear Sacrifice
Will no one be able to satisfy the carnal demands of this cruel and twisted demigod??
Thursday, July 18, 2013Eurasian Kim Offers Kyoto Eye of Carnality
Ok, thanks for indulging my Rolling Stone rant. Now back to the ‘mock.
Even Evil Yellow Sunball cannot portend resistance to Kyoto Eye of Carnality.
American Born Phil may partially shave his head, but it doesn’t interfere with his engineering degree. So his parents make due.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013Moobs n' Boobs
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Dear HCwDB,
Chest wishes!!
Sincerely,
Evil Yellow Sunball
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Awww, thanks Evil Yellow Sunball!! It’s nice to know you fulfill all ex-pec-tations.
Get it?? Ex-pec?? Ahahah… hah… heh…
Coffee.
Monday, June 24, 2013Juuuwan Says, "Challo, I Would Like To Give You eh Masshage On Ze Shoulders!"
Evil Yellow Sunball knows that when Juuwan says “shoulders,” he really means “gazangabangas.”
Wednesday, June 5, 2013Creepy Herb May or May Not Have a Criminal Record
Evil Yellow Sunball is investigating.
Monday, June 3, 2013Evil Yellow Sunball Is Too Old For This S@#t
Murtaugh agrees. Bloated meatwackers are just as bad as anti-Semitic Hollywood movie stars.
And no, Mel, I’m not over it.
Sugar Tits.
Awrrright, this was a lame first post to start the week. But as your humb narrs is in Palm Springs on a writing weekend, what are ya gonna do?
Of course, my luck, Priceline sticks me at an uberscrotey Frathole party hotel.
Which, while having a certain symmetry with the fact I write Hot Chicks with Douchebags, does not a writer’s retreat make. Except for some Boobie Hottie Suckle Thighs to offer at least visual respite.
