Fraiku
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Friday, April 29, 2005
Fraiku. Sons.
I would bang her gongs…
“Bang a Gong, git it on”, sons
T Rex spins in grave…
She knows wearing a
belt AND suspenders ensures
pants never come off.
the shirt he wanted
“keep calm while I eat a dick”
is on back order
She’s been a spinner
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Parents not amused
when they insist that wedding
is on 4/20.
Ironic T-Shirt
Convention filled with those who
live in mom’s basement
Rev Chad’s sculpted leg
Could not fit through the waist of
His shirt. Nice shirt though.
How can it be? It’s
Asking the impossible
He makes pot douchey.
4/20 Douchebags
Co-opt cultural icon
Since “Ed Hardy” died
Fraiku – Large Edition
Who loves ya, Baby?
Who’s gravitas pulls Pear Moons?
JOHN LARGEMAN…that’s who.
When all’s said and done
Who’s gonna pay the bar tab?
JOHN LARGEMAN…that’s who.
Who rocks the C-PAP
And the diabetes socks
JOHN LARGEMAN… that’s who.
Who’s the guy bleeths call
Fatso with the fat wallet ?
JOHN LARGEMAN… that’s who.
Who has five dicks, man
Can bang all these chicks at once
JOHN LARGEMAN… that’s who.
Some guy gets to drive
the party girls home now. Who?
JOHN LARGEMAN…that’s who.
Who is giving free
Beard rides to all the hot Bleeths
JOHN LARGEMAN… that’s who.
Who swung up to club
In his Ford® Super-Duty?
JOHN LARGEMAN… that’s who.
Who’s got a sixty
Inch waist that all the Bleeths chase?
JOHN LARGEMAN… That’s who.
Who is the reason
Hillary had private email?
JOHN LARGEMAN…That’s who.
Who gave Dave Crosby
The anonymous liver.
JOHN LARGEMAN….Had Two.
Who can wear Prada
but will still get a NOTTA?
JOHN LARGEMAN…That’s who.
Who has massive balls
to spackle vaginal walls?
JOHN LARGEMAN…That’s who.
Who dribbles gravy
on turkey and on ladies?
JOHN LARGEMAN…That’s who.
Who will go down south
with bits of cheese in his mouth?
JOHN LARGEMAN…That’s who.
Who does Donkey Douche’s
mom call when she wants the schlong?
JOHN LARGEMAN… That’s who.
Who has Prostate Gland
That’s bigger than Rhode Island?
JOHN LARGEMAN…that’s who!
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Fourth o’ Fraiku
Under-Age Frolics
In the shallow end of the
Gene Pool…filter’s clogged
She don’t have no tits
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Skanky Rehab girls
Drink Bud Lite in a soiled pool
Great day for this douche
He is pointing at
the underwater caverns
he’ll never explore.
Can we ask the drought
To dry up the ReHab pool
Then scrape off the trash
Confused bag points to
Floater he let slip out, things
Went all Caddyshack
Better check the skanks’
I.D.’s Jason. Fifteen will
get you twenty bro.
Two twos ain’t a four.
Unless you use douche-math, where
five twos ARE a “10”.
What kind of dental
nightmare is the tatted chick
attempting to hide?
Liposuction from
Jill Largewoman could help these
two quite immensely.
Under-Age Frolic
Body Tat claims Wildest
Meth!, hell of a drug.
Lolita Largeman
Languishes in the “B” Pool
Thanks to her huge Gunt
Crapping in this pool
Would actually improve
Picture quality
Monday, April 25, 2005
Well wadda y’know…
Horizontal stripes also
Make things look shorter…
His belly button protrudes
More than his little pecker
But Chad doesn’t mind
Why not display his
Greasy hair and odd naval
Next, fucck a squirrel
Never confuse a
Craig’s list ad with Match.com
or you get these two.
70s rocker
Appearance means “I live in
my mother’s basement.”
Roto Rooter guy
has reason to celebrate
he unclogged the john.
Little white thingy
poking out top of his trunks.
It’s not a string, folks!
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Double Belated Fraiku
Sir Lickey McSplit
Soils honey-haired goodness;
Atheism soars…
Skinny D’Amato
has some work ahead of him
this douche deserve it.
Skinny D’Amato
Wouldn’t dirty his digits
On this here j’drool
She holds her wine glass
like she holds his dick. Fingers
give full coverage.
Long hair twat face douche
Nose candy remnant nostrils
Don’t click on photo
Crack Black hasn’t
Had a song in years. Traded
Wife for taut tummy.
Discount Gene Simmons
wants to rock and roll all night.
Don’t Lick It Up, Beth.
Suzy dallies with
Tiny Tim’s retarded son
Tiptoes through the herps
Cellulite Ass Cheeks
Background Jenna Largewoman
Adam Duritz Clown
Poor Richie Blackmore
hasn’t aged very well but
group doesn’t care.
Ten of us left at
Recent count. Crazy fuckers
Telling the truth Sons.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Belated Fraiku
Biff Precious ponders
Invading A-Rack; decides
Jherbouti instead
It puts the face to
the hole, and it gets the nose
the flat-fronted nose
Jen’s Siamese Twin
Chad didn’t get the memo
“Tank tops only, brah!”
Bieber Douche looks like
Distant relative of “Zyzz”
Without astethic
Dude. Where the fuck did
the black guy’s hand come from
in this photo?…Weird.
Lindsey Graham’s plan
for rotating first lady
has just won my vote.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Fraiku
No-Pants Subway Day
Now apparently a thing;
Douchebag Sally Rides
Candyman wields mere
tic tacs, but handles king size
Whatchamacallit.
The knit cap stays on
Whilst I rummage her Coolie
Her Coolie, I says
The knit cap stays on
whilst she uses her man hands
for various chores.
May be “No Pants Day”
But it’s sponsored by Valtrex©
Don’t sit on benches
Candyman looks like
he’s smuggling a roll of Certs
in those unfilled drawers.
The TSA did
A full cavity search on
Him and he liked it
Full Moon Party Guy
Gets a GoinPeace from me;
just leave the Hott please.
Wearing mom’s granny
panties as cowl is invite
to “full moon party”.
The only couple
‘C’s’ he wants, are batteries
for that Fresh Boom Box.
In the air one smells
Whiffs of Japanese sarin
Smells like Victory
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Fraiku
*shout out to Vin Douchal for coming through with some excellent ‘bag pics…you th’ man, dog*
Hipster Pipe-Farter
Butt-Pokes Trish with Irony;
Pretends she’s Bieber.
Unfortunately,
They are only staff left alive
At Charlie Hebdo.
Back in Olden Days
Curly, Moe and Larry Stooge
Wore this as swimsuits
Mon amour, zap my
plump, clamped nipples from your car
battery handbag.
These two are proof that
anal causes pregnancy
please don’t reproduce
After seeing this
I couldn’t get a renoB
Sniffing Cialis
If horizontal
Stripes make you look thin. This
Cock Fan must be dead.
I’d smack this guy with
A bag of nickels and then
Drink some Chianti
His sun-blanched penis
sallow and ineffective
perks up to show tunes
Amongst this trio
the only one hetero
is the tennis shoe
He only wears stripes
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Zebra Hole.
I am among the eldest of statesmen of the few remaining holdouts who haunt these hallowed halls, once prosperous and shit. The right reverend Chad Kroeger has often lamented the fact that he is aging ungraciously and I feel his pain. And by pain I mean fucking stiff, loosely rolled joints. Why must we live on ointo the eighties when we’re propped up with blood thinners and Adderall AND SHIT? Question mark. Shffling around on walkers and Johnny Walker Red. Yeah I;m drunk and my spell check is lighting up like the fuxcking Geiger counter at Chernobly/ Fuck Chernobyl!
I think Obamma had it roght with his death panmels and soylent green and shit. I now official;ly swoitch my affiliation to the Green Party.
Selah
.
21
oh right we don’t do that anymore.
.
fuck you all
Friday Haiku
Well…”Lickety Split”:
Not just a saying for them…
It’s a way of life.
Saphhic potential
Inspires the Renob™
Hints of mon pubis.
Rehab detritus
Latch on to Milfy Goodness
Thanks to alcohol
Jeannie and Jennaie
Laugh at life’s sordid choices
They did not choose well.
You’re all hired! Yelled
the casting director for
the film, “Money Shot”.
These two are the type
of broads that you can Chili
Dog on the first date
* Do not Google “chili dog” – DS
I’d do them both if
Heath Beardman was not in
Any way involved.
^Those tummies ain’t know
Nothing about birthin’ babies
Son. I bi-foculed ‘em.
I’d give her a thick
Braciole and for desert have
A Spumoni
Nice Can O’ Plenty
They May Be Fake May Be Real
The RenoB cares not
My only question,
does Bruce Jenner ovulate
or menopausal?
ReHab pool is brown
Water has toxic cultures
E-coli and staph
Those tits on the right
fight a long, losing battle
with gravity, son
Rehab pool water
has been known to cure lupus
and spread the herpes
Monday, April 18, 2005
Friday Haiku
As long as there is
Reward for Bad Behavior,
There will be D.J.’s…
Quintuplets in
Vegas. One’s been eaten by
Parasitic nose.
It wasn’t a race
but she still won by a nose
Ashkenazi nose
Proboscis size is
Directly correlated
To my renoB growth
Rock, paper, scissors
Not as much fun as, Big Nose
Big Tits, Mini Skirt
When I was a child,
I dreamed of childish… HOLY F#CK
SHE’S GOT A BIG NOSE!!!!1
D.J.’s get the girls
At least that’s what DJ’s say
Spinners? LP’s only.
Starts every convo:
“I’m a bass player, dig me”
Line. hasn’t worked yet
Mountain climbing is
not his thing, he’s more into
dancing on poles, sons.
Semetic hott begs
for Titty Titty Bang Bang.
Walt Disney agrees.
Mulattino gal
Bends those stripes in a nice way;
Femboy douche doesn’t.