Friday Haiku
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Friday, February 21, 2014
Friday Haiku
Herpes got you down?
Try the new Valtrex™ RashStash™!
The Patch on your Patch!
Pale skinny Meghan
looks on from behind glasses
jealous of Pam’s man.
— Douche Wayne
This party smells of
Ball cheese and bad decisions
Valtrex stock to soar
— Capt. James T. Douche
Spinner’s got the bloat
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Spring Break is coming
Soon these two abstrosities
Will look so orange.
— The Dude
They’ve got two tickets
to Paradise. Watch out south
NV, here they come!
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
It puts the card in
The basket or it get’s the
Hose. The foot long hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
The ghost of Lenin
Weeps uncontrollably for
Proletariat
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jen’s sister Amy
looks on from behind. “Yeah, I
am the pretty one”
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Blortz twins’ fake IDs
Although not necessary
For a high school dance
— Vin Douchal
Girls Gone Wild guy
who said, “Show your tits!” should’ve
been more specific
— Morbo
“G-Stop Raw” has the
same initials as “Groin Shave
Reveal”; both senseless.
— Wheezer
Friday, February 14, 2014Valentine's Day Haiku
As they couch-flounce here,
Jenna Jameson looks on
Disapprovingly.
Or…
On Valentine’s Day,
Cupid, draw back your bow, and
Pin them to this couch.
Randy deals cocaine
A lot, lot lot of cocaine
And his clients suck
— saulgoode42
Douche doppelgänger
Same end as Phil S. Hoffman
Too soon to make joke?
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
They don’t do drummers
Since the gyroscope was put
In their Monkey holes.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Asian girls bookend
Big legged blonde in middle
Want her bro to scram
— Vin Douchal
This pic makes me wish
Cupid shot a flamethrower
Instead of arrows
— hermit
Gregg Allman bloated
From liver transplant and booze
Still can pull the Hotts
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday Haiku
He is gaseous
In his assius, like Clay
Who is Cassius.
Groundhog sees shadow
Winter of our discontent
Lasts until Spring Break
— The Dude
Tiger-print Trunks Tool
Transgendered Thai Tat-Trollop
Tuberculosis
– Bag Em Tag Em
Alex, I will take
“leeches on our economy”
for the two hundred
— Magnum Douche P.I.
There are a lot of
Turds in the pool today, where
Is Bill Murray at?
– Capt. James T. Douche
Tattooed detritus
In poolside underbelly
Create Hell on Earth
— DoucheyWallnuts
Friday, January 31, 2014Friday Haiku
Hirsute Love Buddha
Lurks the dorm halls, threatens to
drop the hose towel.
Squirt the Pert, Joey!
Squirt that Pert, dude, Squirt that Pert
C’mon, squirt the Pert
— saulgoode42
Worse than the “Friend Zone”
Goofy Greg has zero game
Placed in “Palcatraz”
— Bag Em Tag Em
Call me Ishmael
Is the start of Moby Dick
Just call this guy dick
— DoucheyWallnuts
Jan Goodall’s latest
experiment on silver
douchebacks going strong.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Poor dorm girl Jenny
Posting flyers for lost cat
Obese Yeti purrs
— purpledrank
Friday, January 24, 2014Friday Haiku
Gurn really liked Pam,
But her chest area was
A little pasty.
Pasties for Fester
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Lately Joy has been
Looking a little pasty
Good thing Tim eats paste
– saulgoode42
the stairwell party
always sounds like fun until
fur coat guy shows up.
– Dickie Fingers
Dad of Asian Hott
Has one thing to ask you all…
“Seppuku for me?”
– MC 900 Foot Douchebag
Does fur lined hat match
drapes? Or does her carpet match
his bald cranium?
– Douche Wayne
Medical fact: She
totally has the wrong kind
of Bra allergy.
– Charles Douchewin
Guessing their Christian
Mingle profiles had a few
fibs. Neither cares much.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
It’s so cold outside
Her nipples turned purple-ish
And started to ooze
– DoucheyWallnuts
Confucious has said
Man who serves gal from behind
Gets poo poo platter
– Bag Em Tag Em
Pam has a heart on
In all of the wrong places
Including her butt
– Mr. Scrotato Head
ehcuodouche said…
If his head gets cold.
She can put pasties on it
That will keep me warm
Friday Haiku
Brett learned a lesson:
Don’t let pine pollen get in
Your cocaine supply.
These are not the Clowns
you’re looking for. These are not
the clowns anyone…
– Charles Douchewin
Up your nose with a
Rubber hose, said Fonzie. Don’t
Know what he’d say here.
– DoucheyWallnuts
Beaker’s new gig at
rhinoplasty got results.
He won’t stop “meeping”.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
She dates the Bozos
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Thinks he’ll get lucky
Sure, they wear the pink balls now
Soon he’ll wear blue ones
– Vin Douchal
With his nose so bright
Rudolph will guide his meat sleigh
Into her crab trap.
– Crucial Head
It puts the septum
in the bucket or it gets
deviated hose.
– Douche Wayne
Friday, January 10, 2014Friday Haiku
Kate and Jon were pleased;
The Constipati-Push diet!
Their abs? Bowel-Ripped!
Jon’s goal was simple:
Find a girl who has the guts
To tolerate him
– saulgoode42
On a winter’s morn
They embrace the cold and write
their names in the snow
– Charles Nelson Douchely
Kate and Jon are shocked
To learn their bad case of crabs
Has gone systemic
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
She grates cheese on abs
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
This pic explains the
world’s Velveeta cheese shortage:
these two practicing.
– Douche Wayne
In missionary
position, these two sound like
a steam train braking.
– Douche Wayne
They mate like crickets.
Abs rub occasionally
Start forest fires.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
In missionary
position, their sex smells like
driving with e-brake.
– Douche Wayne
In missionary
Position they look like
A fiddler crab.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
In missionary,
they generate power to
run a Chevy Volt.
– Douche Wayne
In missionary
Positiion they fuse with
UV machine.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Later that day Kate
delivered her baby, shot
about thirty feet
– Dickie Fingers
When she bends over
she makes same snapping sound as
lighting up glowstick.
– Douche Wayne
Kate and Jon prove that
navel gazing gets results!
Let’s check abs again!
– Charles Douchewin
It must eat grain. It
Must eat grain. It must eat grain.
It must eat grain. Sons.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, January 3, 2014Friday Haiku
So proud of her catch…
Trish, you do not understand
What that mustache means.
Groucho Marx just called
From beyond the grave. He wants
His mustache back. Son
– DoucheyWallnuts
Caterpillar ‘stache
Has one million tiny legs
Marie has two boobs
– Vinegar and Water
Wow, Geraldo’s son
Sure can pull the hotts. Too bad
he prefers the boyz.
– The Dude
He charges a buck
for “mustache rides.” She charges
three hundred per hour
– Magnum Douche P. I.
The age old question.
“Is that your face or are you
Snorting a Sharpie.”
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jill recoils from Juan
his New Years Dirty Sanchez
may last forever
– creature
Friday, December 27, 2013Friday Haiku
Great Odin’s Raven!
Party Thor’s veggie diet,
Tastes like peach glitter.
Friday, December 20, 2013Friday Haiku
PIC DELETED
Hey, Look – it’s Douche Punk.
He’s up all night to Get Some;
All night, Spanks Monkey.
She hired a Ninja
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Tila Tequila
Took t!ts out, dates a robot
Has hit rock bottom
– DoucheyWallnuts
Helmet hides the shame
he feels all over his face.
Shame and lip herpes.
– Jacques Doucheteau
