Friday Haiku
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Friday, December 13, 2013
Friday Haiku
See? Horizontal
Stripes do make things look fatter…
…and oh so Juicy…
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‘Murican Heroes:
General Pattin’ Dat Ass
And Private Lapdance
– saulgoode42
Francis Scott Key
Inspired to write by this
Star spangled bumper
– Charles Nelson Douchely
The star-spangled butt
inspires hoisting on poles
Francis Scott Key cheers!
– Charles Douchewin
Flag desecration
Has never given me a
renoB, until now
– DoucheyWallnuts
It puts ass in the
Basket or it gets the hose
The big booty hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
I’d say the pledge of
allegiance to that booty
every morning
– Magnum Douche P.I.
That’s some hot flag meat
Spectacular example
Old glory is proud
– The Dude
Stretched out far and wide
See stars and stripes forever
Ha! other countries
– Vin Douchal
I’d like to run her
up my flagpole; I’m already
saluting DAT ASS.
– Wheezer
Choad Glory Lib’rates
This Broad’s stripes and bright Spandex
Our Forefathers weep
– Bag Em Tag Em
Mesmerized by ass
We forget he suffers from
Throat gonorrhea
– DoucheyWallnuts
The douchebag’s red glare
And her ass bursting bad air
like poop through the night
—-
O’ say can’t you see
Through the dimly lit night, why
the ‘bag is still there?
– hermit
Friday, December 6, 2013Friday Haiku
DarkSock is back, kids;
Reporting from Sick Duty.
So let’s do this. Son.
******************
What do you see here?
Reboot of “Charlie’s Angels”
The Craigslist Version…
Why seventy-two
virgins when just five pros can
get the same job done?
– Douche Wayne
Whilst I hate that douche
I admit I am jealous.
Would love a “Sixsome”
– DoucheyWallnuts
Joe’s craps winnings
make for one helluva night.
Back to mop next day.
– Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Douche wears camo pants
Thinks he needs to hide huge penis
Suzy can’t find it
– THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Camouflage fatigues ?
The only combat time this
tool saw was Xbox
– Magnum Douche P. I.
five hoo bag jump offs
party Vegas style with guns
plan his kidney theft
– Dickie Fingers
Maid service, next day
Finds hardass in iced bath tub
Kidney, one eye gone
– Vin Douchal
Friday, November 29, 2013Thanksgiving Haiku
When Grey Goose shots fail,
Kevin’s got a brand new game,
‘Try my ‘Play station?'”.
Friday, November 22, 2013Friday Haiku
Creeper Max Headdouche,
Ruins Bro Pete’s mad sexin’,
Sad clowns weep at fair.
——–
Festival Omen
Satriani Photobomb
Harbinger of Doom
– Bag Em Tag Em
The Thing with Two Heads
is remade. Box office bomb.
Rosey Grier weeps
– Charles Nelson Douchely
My mannaries fail
Vestigial glands do not
Provide mommy’s milk
– The Dude
Kim regrets Christian
Mingle date. Profile pic left
out his conjoined twin
– Magnum Douche P. I.
You don’t bring your Mom
to Burning Man, you moron
Monkey on your back?
– Dickie Fingers
The Nazca Lines dress
disorients aliens:
Planet of the Douche!
– Charles Douchewin
Misplaced boob fondle
Shady largeman unholy
MILF gets impatient
– Dr Magnifico
It puts the glasses
In the basket or it gets
The hose. New Wave Hose.
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Friday, November 15, 2013Friday Haiku
“That was TERRIBLE!
What do you call your stage act?!?”
“THE ARISTOCRATS!!!”
What Prompted her Tat?
Herpes Test is positive
Hence her evil clit
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
Fruit salad reveal
And back of the thighs tattoos
Can’t distract from Douche
— Doucheywallnuts
I bet evil clit
means she’s packing a sausage
tuck in that short skirt
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Her Finishing Move
Backwards Headshot Clit Hammer
Flawless Victory
— Douche Wayne
Trish saw no problem
with adding more infections
in between her legs.
— Douche Wayne
Christmas is coming
Stan and Jill practice their new
Ballet, ‘Slutcracker’
— saulgoode42
Trish’s new tatt will
be all the talk around the
trailer park this week
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Writing with faeces is
A misunderstood artform
Except for monkeys.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Stinky Thumbs McGhee
And Evil Clit agree that
Meth’s helluva drug!
— Capt. James T. Douche
Clit has been Evil
since the gyroscope was put
in her monkey hole.
— Douche Wayne
I would hate to hear
What she calls her butthole if
Her clit is evil.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Colonel Wallnuts sprays
graffiti to wage peace/war.
Tats, self-inflicted.
— Charles Douchewin
********************
Friday, November 8, 2013Friday Haiku
Posing with trophies
Of foxes and cougars, it’s
The Great White Humpers
Don’t click to enlarge
Ren-and-Stimpy-like details
are horrifying
— Charles Douchewin
In the jungle, the
Mighty jungle, the lion
wants to run away
— The Dude
Ivory renoB
Photo Bombs team photo of
Douche/Bleeth convention
— DoucheyWallnuts
Ivory’s been scarce
since the gyroscope was put
in her cheetah hole.
— Douche Wayne
Large areola
Is the size of a pizza
And it oozes cheese
— DoucheyWallnuts
She hides under rocks
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
It’s a little known fact
that elephants stampede when
they smell ignorance.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Group later eaten
by cannibals. Tasted like
Axe and Vagisil
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Boner photobomb
leaves Geno pissed, hotts wet, Drew
sexily confused
— Morbo
Friday, November 1, 2013Friday Haiku
Sun dappled wasteland,
Like Fiona Apple dream,
Plus scrote hair reveal.
Friday, October 25, 2013Friday Haiku
The new sci-fi hit Star Trans, with Terry FlatChest And Gaylord McVest
Terry the Drag Queen
tries out his new character
he/she Shannon Tweed.
— Douche Wayne
Jeff Gordon’s little
Brother comes out of closet
Far enough for both.
— UFO Destroyers
Terry sees himself
As a Pirate! His first move’s
To score sunken chest
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
The penis is tucked
Since the gyroscope was put
In “her” Monkey Hole.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Spock will change mind on
wanting pon farr after he
sees these two morons.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
In space nobody
Can hear you scream or runs out
Of hair gel or moussé
— DoucheyWallnuts
Pink is the new blond
In outer space
No one grows boobies
— Dr Magnifico
Her eyes say mystique
His say rather be working
men’s room glory hole
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Nepos.
Friday, October 18, 2013Friday Haiku
Mia said “Good night;
I’m feeling a little horse…”
…I’ll be here all week…
Donkey Douche out
for a night on the town
forgets people mask
— Chris in ‘Baghdad
Girls call him “Mister
Trifecta”. Horse face, rough ride,
finishes real quick
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Unclear on concept:
Save a horse, ride a douchebag?
Cowboys sing the blues.
— Charles Douchewin
When Orwell wrote “Two
legs good, four legs bad” he could
never thought of this.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
PCP. It’s not
Just for breakfast anymore
She rides the pony.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Sarah Jessica
Parker enters club. This guy
says “hey sis, what’s up?”
— Magnum Douche P.I.
Friday Haiku
“Just relax, Trishia;
You may feel a little prick…”
She’s used to big ones…
Monkey hole or the
bunny hole. The gyroscope
will go in like this.
— UFO Destroyers
Using syringe to
fix prolapse is like throwing
hot dog down hallway.
— Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche
Truth ads move from the
Dangers of smoking cigs to
Hazards of butt chug.
— Capt. James T. Douche
Will health care reform
Let bunny girl choose her own
Naughty Nurse? Hope so.
— The Dude
CDC Flu Shot
Campaign targets those at risk.
Elderly, kids, whores
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Flu shot or glue shot?
Either way, Trish like it in
Ass, standing up
— DoucheyWallnuts
It puts the needle
In the ass or it gets the
Hose. The Valtrex Hose.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Now Obamacare
requires gyroscope insert
be done in public
— Dickie Fingers
