Friday Haiku
-
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Fraiku
Porch Beef, Denim Jeans:
They all died in the 90’s…
Why not this DoucheBag?
He grew a head fin
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
Faux Hawk takes his kids
to his fave Douche Spot! Will soon
hit on step daughter.
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
There are baleen whales
jealous of her gum line. But
she can’t filter douche.
Faux Hawk Douche knows how
many Monkey Holes his beads
have been pulled out of.
The Dude said…
Faux Hawk Club Guru
Hangin’ with the younger crowd
Gets stuck with the bill
Hey, that old bloated
guy with gray faux hawk is hot !
Said no girl. Ever.
L.S.D. offsets
‘Hawk’s blood pressure medicine
Time for a stroke out
Ben Franklin would weep
Salty fuccen tears if he
Could see this picture
Gristled faux hawk douche
Never leaves the night club scene
Impresses the youngsters
Tommy the Tool and
Oldbag Ron hassle wait staff
for lame Spyon pic
Wheatstalks needs help to
stand for induction into
douchebag Hall of Fame.
Ogling Jerz Bleeths
I forget why we mock them
They make my pants swole
Fraiku
Hours in the Spa,
Wax rips off the crinkly hairs…
Girl’s vag? No…his chest.
What perky daughter?
RenoB killing Cougar Scowl
revs his MILF motor.
Disappointed Mom
sees vision of trailer parks
in daughter’s drunk smile.
That is a mother-
Daughter duo I would
Cosby on first date?
Denny Terrio
Stills sucks the c0ckk better than
Either of these Bleeths
El Chapo broke out
Of prison to get to Vegas
And kill this douchebag.
A.V.N. Miss Best
Handjob is on the D.L.
with carpal tunnel
This guy will go broke
from the mom’s nose candy bill
that snozz is hungry
Douche plans mom/daughter
three way. Wakes alone, groggy
and missing wallet
Olga looks guilty
Broke Kimmy’s thumb whilst takiing
Furious fisting
He thought it was a
poop, not her fist. So he tried
to pinch it off, son.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Freaky Fraiku
One of these people
Is in ‘costume’ all of the time;
Guess and name which one…
Electro Charo
Goes all coochie-coochie on
Own ass. Hair boils.
Left Hott resembles
Rosanne Rosanna Danna
Bringin’ back the frizz!
Lucille Ball statue
has stiff competition from
the thing on the left
Toothless frizzy chick
Celebrates pay for BJs
To all three of them
She takes the trophy
for this years “San Diego
Hott Sternum Award”!
You too can save up
5 years’ bikini wax hair
And craft your own wig
Salad’s getting tossed
quite often in this picture;
Caesar’s Cross-Dressing
My spittle would froth
down the length of Sideshow Boob’s
plunging neckline
“Rest In Peace” tattoo
tribute to loss of his self
respect / dignity
Honkey Flava Flav
Macking on Bleeth with Thigh Highs
But it’s a Tranny
Friday, April 8, 2005
Fraiku
There’s this recession;
Biff finds himself hard-pressed in
Silicone Valley
Constant as the sun
and the movement of the tides;
Douchebags love airbags.
Make it a double
I says, time to motorboard
Who cares if they’re fake?
Biff has gotten soft
she is hard in all the wrong
places, face and boobs
He’s got the bad bloat
Since the gryoscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Sanjay blows Apple
store paycheck on bad trip to
Silicone Valley.
Neighborhood dogs howl
in pain when chest puppies are
rubbed together sons.
D-List porn actress
moonlights as Bud Light beer girl.
Gives butt hole a rest.
Dime store sunglasses
7-11 money
Dime store Indian
Hadji got sidetracked
by Yucca Mountain Boobies
in his Johnny Quest!
Saline bags ain’t tits
And don’t make a guy a chick
No matter how big
Millennials. Can’t
Shoot em, can’t employ them.
Wilted salad years.
Fraiku
Look at them nipples!
I mean his nipples, not hers…
Fraiku Deflate-Gate.
Oliver Reed once
beat this dude arm wrestling
then stole his whiskey
When Chad flexes pecs
everyone everyone around him gets
free man-milk sample.
Way back, Cancún thought:
“What’s a few americans?”
Buckle up, Cuba.
John Largeman finger
divining nearby douches!
And large milk reserve!
Slim Jenny and Biff
Mark another failed Rehab
Back again next week
It’s all fun ’til the
silicone hits his bloodstream,
shuts down his organs.
Fraiku
***Yeah, I know DB1 had this gem as a link on his Chrimmas post…but dammit it’s just too good to pass up for Fraiku. Boss been sittin’ on some primo bag pics, yo. – D.S.***
Vin “Cool Breeze” Capon
Smirks as Liza collapses;
“Roofie’s kickin’ in…”
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Eyes roll back in head.
LIza won’t be seeing Vin’s
premature cork pop.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Will this be the year
I have threesome with Katie
Couric and T-Pain?
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Trina would have sworn
Rex was transgender until
She checked under shirt
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Other pec has date
tatt of his mom’s gang bang when
really created
Magnum Douche P. I. said…
Is she unconscious
if her eyes are are still open ?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
His tattoo is why
millions believe in Flying
Spaghetti Monster.
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Unconscious just means
she’s given her consent, right?
Asking for Cool Breeze.
hermit said…
In darkness of night
Her eyes are encrusted with
Satanic Wheat Chex™
Wheezer said…
Over-drafted card
in hand, Sally disgusted
by last charge on it.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
She’ll wear a ball gag
Before the night is over
And not remember
Friday Haiku
Whoa! Lookit them buns!
She pines for a sugar cube;
‘Bag nipple deflates.
***Excellent work, faithful mockers; I giggled at this week’s Fraiku™ more giddily than Jacques Douchetou™ murdering Justin Bieber™ in a veal stall with a claw hammer. I’m adding a new Easter Egg from hereforthwith; them what wins the Internet™ with the sturdiest Fraiku™ (denoted in bold red™) will also have a link embedded in their missive that will lead to Pear™. As I further convalesce, I shall also endeavor to do the occasional pear-laden Thoughts n’ Links™ since I now sit atop an impressive pile o pear thanks to the generous submissions of you web-trolling horn-dogs…the heroic douche-bag regs, or as I think of you, the d’regs™. 23™. Son™ ***
Opie done got swole
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
Opie’s arm — bigger
Than his head, and smarter too
Only dates horses
Nipplestopheles
gut punches that which he does
not understand: shirts
It puts the horse face
In the basket, or it gets
The hose..The pee hose.
I’d put her heinie
In the basket and f*ck it
I’d f*ck it, I says
Must be a mistake
I thought that show was canceled
“Two and a Half Men”
I’ve got a haunch that
the make a wish foundation
needs new management.
Bent Nipple, Gaysian
and Man Face. These sitcoms get
worse every year.
Shirtless dude peddles:
“Nips point way of stock market”
Buffett divests all
Cheryl Crowe horse face
Can crush walnuts with her ass
Flexy McPec sucks
That chick’s gristle hole
Could cut some poor dude’s penis
Clean half in two, Son
Nipsy Fluffle shows
off his form for tonight’s
wankfest in men’s room.
Friday Haiku
He’s Nostril-DumbAss;
Can he predict the future
Of these young ladies…?
*******
It’s a 3-way this week…which is more than NostrilDumbAss could muster that night.
*******
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Quartasian Triad
Prepare Monkey Holes for the
Neckbeard Convention.
hermit said…
ISIS soldier stands
sixty-seven virgins short
At the gates of hell
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Despite the Wacky Eye
Middle Bleeth gives me renoB
Sapphic embrace helps
The Dude said…
Three toss offs from the
Kardashian lab are loose
for halloween prowl
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
How do calves that small
keep white skirt Bleeth’s phenom ass
upright off the ground?
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Hairless Quims await
Impending Meat Curtain fest
Waldouche has no shot
Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said…
“I am relevant!”
shouts Hakeem over techno
beat. No one else cares.
Vin Douchal said…
Jaleel photobombs
Next, security’s tasers
And zip-tied perp walk
^**honorable fuccen mention**
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
White skirt hott’s feet so
Small she can’t stand still. Grabs friend
To stabilize tits.
hermit said…
Dude had his last bath
When mama’s water broke
He’s still sticky, Son(s)
Capt. James T. Douche said…
Bottle rats are paid
To pose while Douche McCracken
Poses nostril hairs
Wheezer said…
Predict his future:
He ain’t touchin’ those boo-tays
…..and neither am I.
Friday Haiku. Yo.
Girls love their BeefCakes.
They will soon find out these lunks
Are really CrabCakes.
.
Behold a stunning bounty of Mock; excellent work, Son(s)…
.
Magnum Douche P.I. said…
The combined I.Q.’s
of these bags and bleeths is less
than their V.D. strains
.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
It doesn’t eat grain
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole
.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
It puts the ‘roid creme
In the basket or it gets
The hose. The Vain hose.
.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
I’d flog the two trim
Ladies with my Vanity Hose
In Olestra Hole.
.
***REV IS ON FIII-YAHH***
.
hermit said…
Sign on front door says,
“No shoes, no shirt, no entry”
Dudes cum in back door
.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
There is an inverse
Relationship between lean
Torsos and IQ
.
Wheezer said…
Remember Prep H?
They’ll vanish if they use more;
give them a truckload.
.
hermit said…
The retard on left
Has a penis implanted
Above his right hip *<–Alert Reader Special Mention*
.
DoucheyWallnuts said…
In a shirtless world
These 5 would be royalty
But it’s not, they ain’t
.
Vin Douchal said…
Supplements? We don’t
Need no stinkin’ supplements
Get protein elsewhere
.
Jacques Doucheteau said…
Photo op with hots
show these guys are straight before
the docking party
.
**EDIT – Do NOT Google “Docking Party”. Or anything else referenced by J.D. – Admin**
.
Jacques Doucheteau said…
Girls get to watch up
close as dudes lay cable
on each other’s chest.
.
**See above – Admin**
.
Charles Douchewin said…
Eurasian bleeth-hulk:
“You won’t like me when angry!”
I still ask for date.
Friday Haiku
Her breasts are quite large,
Just as sure as my name is
Captain Obvious.
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
Gets paid to store hams
Since the gyroscope was put
In her Monkey Hole.
The Dude said…
Hark! The Karl Rove twins
Lurk behind Kimye’s tit sling
Like plump fruits of fall.
Dickie Fingers said…
She was attractive
Until the truck hit her face
hence the new bumpers
Charles Douchewin said…
S(he) bends some gender.
This douchebag is his own bleeth.
DarkSock bends my mind.
Magnum Douche P.I. said…
Should have spent money
on gunt reduction and face
transplant. Gunt I says.
Vin Douchal said…
I once won C-Note
“Biggest Catch” deep sea fishing
Hooked something like this
Ed Hardy Har Har said…
Needs to stop sucking
in air, before she explodes!
Silicon blast zone!
DoucheyWallnuts said…
Her fake Yam Passage
Can accommodate 5 d*cks
Including her own
hermit said…
All week she tends bar
Weekend gigs at kid’s parties
One-woman Bounce House
hermit said…
Lying on her back
She looks a whole lot like the
Sydney Opera House
Wheezer said…
Holy smokes, those BOOBS!
They might be fake, but they’re BOOBS!
Motorboat those BOOBS!
The Reverend Chad Kroeger said…
I think Dark Sock is
Messing with us. Or real bad
Meningitis, Son.
