Gratuitous Pear
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Saturday, May 25, 2013
Sunday Science Class
Constipated DoucheBag reminds us that his ilk only comprise half the subject matter of this site. They’s hotts on this site as well. Son.
As I wind down ‘Sock Week in anticipation of DB1’s return tomorrow I shall endeavor to share with you some of the rare sub-classes of Hotts und Pear:
I Have Your Pink Monkey Hostage Hott;
It-wakes-up-or-it-gets-the-hose-the-snooze-hose-Pear;
Walking around the beach in her underdraws Pear;
A Man’s Garter Do What A Man’s Garter Do Pear;
And, of course, We’re Here For The Orgy Trifecta.
And that barely scratches the surface of Planet Hott.
Thusly begins my Sabbatical.
Friday, May 24, 2013Late Night with HCwDB: The Road To Peardition – Volume 3
Why are we here?
Sexy Pear. Son.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013Late Night with HCwDB: The Road To Peardition – Volume 2
These ladies have a nice big can.
For other ladies also with big cans let us now travel to Italy:
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Late Night with HCwDB: The Road To Peardition – Volume 1
“So what is the Road To Peardition, Mr. Sock?”, you whinny.
Well let me show you, Son. Like the girls in the photo here, let’s take a look under the hood. It will be a mini-series I run until The Boss gets back Monday.
Tonight’s edition: South America.
Amazing Argentinian Pear, featuring callipygian legend Fenny, aka AssPear LaPlante.
Fenny bends the shadows to the truth of her curves.
Son.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013P.M. Douche and the Poolbaggery Manifesto
Ah, but yes. PunchMe Douche has enlisted the help of Squib Largeman in his bid to take over the Rehab rip-off pool at the nameless Indian Casino located off of I-10 east of Palm Springs. As evinced in this photograph, mayhaps P.M. Douche is interested in the wrong sort of cans.
Meanwhile, in continuing tasteful black & white pear land…here’s another attempt to introduce another thinly-veiled beloved pear reference into a post by DarkSock.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013DoucheLoaf and the Rhetorical Question
DoucheLoaf, pictured here with Flattered Fenny, asks the unfortunate photographer the timeless question “Yo, Brah…What you lookin’ at?” before breaking his camera and the face behind it.
What was he lookin’ at? I leave it to the regulars to answer that question in the comments section.
Meanwhile, on a different curve, here’s tangential pear as an eloquent palette cleanse.
Monday, April 1, 2013Meet the New Hot Chicks with Douchebags Quality Assurance Team!
Meet the new Quality Control Board of HCwDB: Manny “Bride of FrankenDouche” Horowitz, Vinny “The Watch” Fazuli and Corine “Anime Eyes” Falco. They are here to ensure that during my week at the helm here that ol’ DarkSock does not once again besmirch the front page with non-PG 13 terms such as “taint squelch”, “Monkey Hole” and “Pootie Tang”.
More importantly, they are here to ensure that I stay ON MESSAGE, with none of my trademark forays into gratuitous distraction such as Mass Quantity Pear, Flotation Device Pear, and OH MY GOD WOULD YOU FRIGGIN’ LOOK AT THAT Pear.
Yep. Just the straight and narrow this time.
Be strong with me, folks. Maybe we should make little rubber wristbands or something.
Saturday, January 26, 2013Paula roofies Lurch
“Sorry, son, but MY roofie is kicking in on YOU. And by the way, my name’s Paul, not Paula. Shall we go for a van ride now?”
While Lurch McRoofie is carried away into the night, and a waiting cornfield, let us reflect. With Pear.
And my favorite – Perfect Pear
Thursday, January 24, 2013Pregnant Mandouche Says, "Where's The 'Sock?"
(notes from a post-coma hospital bed)
Gach…. HoHos!! Wherefore art thou HoHos?…
‘Sock!! Wherest du, ‘Sock?! You must post in the mornings!! To keep HCwDB Running in mein absence… even ast I talkst Germanic in my haze…
Oh Black Bikini Alyson… how thine supplest of curves warmest mein freuleins and tickle my shpinkles…
Alack! I have a vision!! Black Bikini Alyson offers the hope while Pregnant Mandouche offers the abyss… I must heal myself… with the power of prayer pear!!
Peariest Pear of 2012: Spinderella Pear
DarkSock here, delivering succulent pear. It’s what I do.
While I may be going a little off the reservation here, because Spinderella Pear technically never appeared on the front page, but rather as a link in the comments threads by Senior Pear Hound Vin Douchal, I don’t care. Because I want to marry this woman’s butt. When Pears look like this they should be laser-measured, like custom truck floor mats, and discussed by learned panels on public access television channels, and bronzed and put in parks for children to frolic under. The White House must acknowledge any petitions presented with more than 25,000 valid signatures.
We can make my dream happen. In my lifetime.
In the event Spinderella is unable to meet her doodies as winner, I’ve designated as Bunner-Up Ms. Betty Buddocks seen being tainted by Benzino in March’s Unholy Pear Fondle:
Bun.
