HCwDB After Dark
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011
HCwDB After Dark
Well hello there!! Come on in!!
Would you like a damp towel? Monsoon season has been rough and you might need to get the prickle stains off your caftan.
Head on over to the lanai.
Enjoy some tasty fried malomars over in the step down veranda/bar.
There’s gefilte ceviche over by the firepit if you get hungry.
It’s HCwDB After Dark.
Where anything goes. Even zen guys with beards watching douches grab at ass pear. And smoking jackets are optional.
And Pear is plentiful.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011HCwDB After Dark
C’mon in!! It’s HCwDB After Dark!!
Grab an air-beanbag and pull up a seat by the Grecian fire pit.
Would you like a mint julep? I made them myself from real mint juleps.
Try one of the crab cake pastry puffs. It’s a family recipe. We call them “Crab Cake Pastry Puffs.”
Mmmm… good, right?
It’s After Hours
Where we mix our postmodern filmic references like so many late night Tarantino post toe suckle hallucinations.
But the ‘Slap Donkey Douche is still out there.
Still posing for pics.
Fighting the Douche Fight so the rest of us can mock onward until dawn…
EDIT: I’m so drunk on my own Juleps, mixed up my Hall of Scroters for a minute there.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011HCwDB After Dark
C’mon in!!
The weather’s fine.
Just a little northern breeze. Nothing to get worked up about.
Have a seat by the arcadian fire pit.
Grab some Malaysian rice wine, served in a lotus leaf.
There ya go. Now have a go at mocking Square Watch Ned. For his stupid-face bothering Lithe Linda is all that is societal itch about societal itchface.
Yup. It’s HCwDB After Dark. And anything goes.
Even a surreptitious boobie poke with an ivory feather duster.
Thursday, June 9, 2011HCwDB After Dark: King Douchuous the IV Edition
Pull up a sofa chair and grab a fried Twinkie from the kitchen!! It’s HCwDB After Dark.
Where we sip quality box wine, kick off our shoes, and meditate on the hottie/douchey dialectics.
Today, we consider the King once again. For there are many carriers of the Grieco Virus in 2011.
Few are as epic as The King.
Even Brunette Mandy can’t survive the douchal radiation for long. Soon, Pink Hat Tilt and groin shave reveal bikini drop emerge.
Not that there’s anything wrong with groin shave reveal bikini drop on a Woo Hottie. It’s called the Douchadox. And it is hypocritical inconsistency at its most suckle thighish.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011HCwDB After Dark
There will be no free Pear for you from your humble narrator on this HCwDB After Dark.
For while the ‘Sock has rule of the kingdom when he is in charge, the DB1 feels Pear must be earned, and only rewarded after a week of solid Mock.
Instead, I offer you the rare “Douche Boobie Sip Maneuver.”
First referenced by early 20th Century phenomenologist Edmund Husserl in his Berlin lecture, “Phänomenologie und Boob Sip Doucheropologie,” Douche Sip has long haunted the collective zeitgeist.
So pull up a chair and mock.
For the Monthly is on. And your humble narrator is tipsy on Strawberry Boone’s.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010HCwDB Not Quite After Dark
Pic Deleted
Well, it’s sorta dusky here in Los Angeles.
And rainy.
Not quite enough for an “HCwDB After Dark.” But enough to post some wiggy clowns mugging a tasty barely legal hott boddket.
Your humble narrator sits in his Civil War era rocking chair on the veranda and pinches some snuff. The plaintive cries of desperate actresses can be heard pinging through the hills.
“You want dessert or just the check?”
Just the check, Margaritte. But I loved you on Nip/Tuck.
Monday, October 11, 2010HCwDB After Dark
The comments threads are light today, and that makes your humble narrator sad and lonely.
So I sit on my stained rug on my floor.
And I scratch.
And I crack a bottle of ‘Dog.
And I step out onto the veranda to slap one of the wild pelicans attempting to steal a fig newton left over from last night’s festivities. Stupid wild pelican. Fig Newtons are people food.
Monday, September 20, 2010HCwDB After Dark
We haven’t had an HCwDB After Dark in awhile.
So come on in!!
Pull up one of my uvula shaped beanbag chairs. They’re over by the outdoor sauna. No, that’s the one for the African Tree Frogs.
The other one. Over there. Yeah, the one that smells like passionfruit and Ring Dings.
Help yourself to a Dr. Brown’s Black Cherry Soda. There’s one by the block of ice keeping the iguanas cool during rainy season.
Apologies for all the alpaca poo on the veranda.
Things haven’t been the same since Pepe quit in a labor dispute over residuals from his temp job huffing paint fumes for the scientists at the Tyrell Corporation.
