HCwDB
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Sunday, July 18, 2010
Sixteen Seconds of Douchebag Frolic
New rule: Holding the camera sideways while videotaping a scrote renders you autoscrote.
Friday, July 16, 2010Captain Mediocre Works the Party
It’s a nice case of truth in advertising that Captain Mediocre didn’t give himself a better superhero name.
A 2.6 from Washington State and vague plans to be an “architect” because he once read a book on Frank Lloyd Wright do not belie his permanent residency on the couch of his best friend Dave.
Mindy is all that is bright and youthful and wholesome and boobie fondle about a spring summer day in Guadalcanal. She makes flowers bloom and small woodland creatures hump tree stumps. For that, I follow her around the supermarket aisles, pretending I’m looking for peanut butter.
EDIT: Pretty sure that’s Mindy again. Or her twin. Twins, Max. Imagine the possibilities.
Friday, July 16, 2010Beau and Mindy: The Shirtless Double Standard
When Woo Hotties choose to strip down on the dance floor and shout “Woo!” it is to be commended at a future date with a cash honorarium and a Popsicle.
When a Jerz Meatclown decides to go shirtless and reveal he’s tattooed “Beautiful,” along with a swirly pattern that resembles lake fungus near a toxic waste dump on his shoulder, it is to be urinated on from afar like a tribal elder treating a snake bite.
Thursday, July 15, 2010Monique Leaves France, Discovers Tatt Pec Tony, Has Existential Crisis
It’s a strange story of boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gives up on D.J. dreams and gets a job at Citibank.
Thursday, July 15, 2010Albino Harold
Sunlight may do permanent damage to his upper cutaneous layers, but that won’t stop Albino Harold from hitting on Pammy at the coolest bar in Ames, Iowa (well, the only bar in Ames, Iowa) on a Tuesday night at 7:42pm.
Thursday, July 15, 2010The Jebus and Mary Stain
“And Jebus said unto them … “If ye have faith as a grain of hair gel seed, ye shall say unto this crotch, Remove pubes to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible to you, except for getting into the V.I.P. room after 10pm.”
~Fluke, 8:15~
Thursday, July 15, 2010Prince Crotchpeein
It may be impossible once I’ve posted this pic, but avoiding looking at the pee stained douche crotch is probably a wise decision to avoid future therapy bills.
Dammit, now I made you look.
I’m sorry. That was mean.
Will a serving of Refrigerpeartor make up for it?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010Jebus, Mary and Broseph
“And Jebus said unto Mary and Broseph, “Hark! Go forth to Miami Beachlehem. And spray Axe Bodyspray uponst your head and shoulders three times. For it is easier for a cameltoe to pass through the eye of Don Cheadle than for a douchebag to get into Club Heaven.” — Corinthians Leather, 24:7
Wednesday, July 14, 2010Markie Goes Higher
In the age of mass media cacaphonic overwhelm, what must a Vegas Club Douche do to stand out from the other choadwanks?
Go higher.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010Tri-Skull Vic Loses Interest in Maria
Yesterday’s Tri-Skull Vic, he of cap tilt and too tight t-shirt, was last seen rubbing up on the fantastically curvy and alluringly olive Maria (far left).
Now, Vic’s found a Mocha Hott and a Vanilla Cupcake to complete his three flavor fro-yo club dish.
Too bad Vic’s not interested.
For his bro, Val, is across the club. Whaddup, Val??!
