HCwDB
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Friday, October 23, 2009
Vote "Yes" on Prop Poo: The Banning of Shirtless Bartenders
With HCwDB’s recent foray into lobbying activity on Capitol Hill via my newly formed lobbyist group, ‘Bagpac, I’m pleased to announce we are introducing our first official bill in the House of Representatives.
1634.2: “The Banning of Shirtless Bartenders Congressional Act of 2009.”
This will appear on state and local ballots as “Prop Poo.”
Please call your local congresspeople and tell them to vote “yea” on Prop Poo.
Friday, October 23, 2009Vote “Yes” on Prop Poo: The Banning of Shirtless Bartenders
With HCwDB’s recent foray into lobbying activity on Capitol Hill via my newly formed lobbyist group, ‘Bagpac, I’m pleased to announce we are introducing our first official bill in the House of Representatives.
1634.2: “The Banning of Shirtless Bartenders Congressional Act of 2009.”
This will appear on state and local ballots as “Prop Poo.”
Please call your local congresspeople and tell them to vote “yea” on Prop Poo.
Friday, October 23, 2009Friday Haiku
PIC DELETED
Gangsta tatt vortex.
Rover dreams of killing cats,
And so does his dog.
Motorcycle? Check
Humongous truck? Check. Pit bull? Check
Credit score? Thirteen.
— Sergeant Scrote Stain
Shirtless, tatted scrote
Lady Gaga’s slutty sis
Welcome to Stenchtown.
— Mr. White
Even Ed Hardy
Doesn’t want this clown wearing
his stupid clothing.
— Douche Wayne
We own none of this
all props for fashion freakshow
Capitalism
— I drink your doucheshake
Skank and sleaze abound
At Douchebag Manor, dog frets
He may catch ringworm.
— Captain Bringdown
Looking at the pic
I’m sure you’ll understand why
we had both neutered.
— Wes
Thursday, October 22, 2009The Poopaloompa
You’ve met the Oompa Prompas.
Now meet… the Poopaloompa.
Ladies, he’s out there.
Gunning for your ovaries with teeny, tiny, little orange spermaspores.
Thursday, October 22, 2009"Flo-Rida" is Mo' Douchey
We’ve talked about the “Rockstar Leniency Rule” (RLR), in which we grant leeway for successful pop and rock stars to dress in douchesque ways, provided it is part of their performative persona.
Some pop culture examples granted RLR have included Neil Young, Beck, Jack White, Tom Petty, George Clinton, Dave Grohl, Rick James, Chris Robinson, Keith Richards, Jay-Z, the Beasties, vintage-era David Lee Roth (1984), the great Mr. T, bands like KISS, wrestlers in the WWE, etc.
Take Prince, for example. According to the rules, the ‘bag signifiers are rampant. But it’s Prince. It’s part of his theatrical identity, and leads to some kick-ass funk. Therefore Prince is granted RLR, at least based on the visual evidence.
Again, this is not to state that these people can’t earn douche status for real world accomplishments. Only that their visual spectacles tie to their on-stage or performative personas, and are thus considered theatrical, and therefore not douchal.
Recent semi-famous one hit wonder rapper, Flo-Rida? Not granted RLR. Not even close.
Douche.
Thursday, October 22, 2009“Flo-Rida” is Mo’ Douchey
We’ve talked about the “Rockstar Leniency Rule” (RLR), in which we grant leeway for successful pop and rock stars to dress in douchesque ways, provided it is part of their performative persona.
Some pop culture examples granted RLR have included Neil Young, Beck, Jack White, Tom Petty, George Clinton, Dave Grohl, Rick James, Chris Robinson, Keith Richards, Jay-Z, the Beasties, vintage-era David Lee Roth (1984), the great Mr. T, bands like KISS, wrestlers in the WWE, etc.
Take Prince, for example. According to the rules, the ‘bag signifiers are rampant. But it’s Prince. It’s part of his theatrical identity, and leads to some kick-ass funk. Therefore Prince is granted RLR, at least based on the visual evidence.
Again, this is not to state that these people can’t earn douche status for real world accomplishments. Only that their visual spectacles tie to their on-stage or performative personas, and are thus considered theatrical, and therefore not douchal.
Recent semi-famous one hit wonder rapper, Flo-Rida? Not granted RLR. Not even close.
Douche.
Thursday, October 22, 2009Halloween HCwDB Costumes
If any couples out there are planning to honor HCwDB by dressing up as either generic hottie/douchey plague or as one of our hallowed Hall of Scrote members, be sure to drop me an email with a pic.
Last year the response was overwhelming as I received more than 200 pictures of hilarious mock taint and sexy curvy sucklethigh.
Let there be more Hottie/Douchey Hallows Eve dressups this ‘ere the witching hour.
Thursday, October 22, 2009The Premature O Face
Either that, or OFace is actually a fan of retro 1970s claymation reactions.
'Baglings, Hottlings and a Brothabag
Seriously, Brothabag Darnell, over there douching it up on the left. You’ve gotta be pushing thirty.
Why hang with the baddest suburban gangstas and girls who hate their dads in 10th Grade at Jefferson High in Phoenix, Arizona?
Was there really nothing good on BET?
Oh, it was a marathon of The Mo’Nique Show?
I see your point.
Thursday, October 22, 2009‘Baglings, Hottlings and a Brothabag
Seriously, Brothabag Darnell, over there douching it up on the left. You’ve gotta be pushing thirty.
Why hang with the baddest suburban gangstas and girls who hate their dads in 10th Grade at Jefferson High in Phoenix, Arizona?
Was there really nothing good on BET?
Oh, it was a marathon of The Mo’Nique Show?
I see your point.
