HCwDB
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Monday, July 5, 2010
The Mountinis
With a backlog of amazing submissions, this week is chock full of ‘bag, so while there may not be a vote, lets get our mock on.
First up, Canada’s shameful The Mountinis.
A modern conceptual inversion of the rural and rugged Canadian Mounties, The Mountinis tan and shave with the worst of douche culture. And are hitting on Kimberly with fullblown global Grieco Virus in effect.
Yikes.
Next thing you know, they’ll start sipping Appletinis like the true oranged up roidbags they are.
Blame Canada?
Don’t mind if I do.
Monday, July 5, 2010Monday's HCwDB Engine Fires Up
Your humble narrator is on his way back from a drunken traverse through rural New Hampshire with HotChick1, so no HCwDB of the Week this week.
Special callbacks to the many readers from New Hampshire who wrote in offering to ‘bag hunt with your humble narrator, including Christopher and Obi-Choad. Next time, fellow ‘bag hunters, we will hunt the rural New England Lakedouche together. But this time was private time for HC1.
That being said, there are a number of quality mock pics already vying for the next HCwDB of the Week, and I have a bunch fired up in the hopper for this week.
So lets clear that July 4th hangover and get our mockin’ and lustin’ on (said in a New Hampshire twang). For our job is not even remotely done.
Bring it, fellow hunters. I can’t do this alone.
Monday, July 5, 2010Monday’s HCwDB Engine Fires Up
Your humble narrator is on his way back from a drunken traverse through rural New Hampshire with HotChick1, so no HCwDB of the Week this week.
Special callbacks to the many readers from New Hampshire who wrote in offering to ‘bag hunt with your humble narrator, including Christopher and Obi-Choad. Next time, fellow ‘bag hunters, we will hunt the rural New England Lakedouche together. But this time was private time for HC1.
That being said, there are a number of quality mock pics already vying for the next HCwDB of the Week, and I have a bunch fired up in the hopper for this week.
So lets clear that July 4th hangover and get our mockin’ and lustin’ on (said in a New Hampshire twang). For our job is not even remotely done.
Bring it, fellow hunters. I can’t do this alone.
Sunday, July 4, 2010Happy July 4th!
To my fellow Americans, happy 4th!! To the rest of the world, sorry about Snooki. And to Canadians, Justin Bieber sucks.
Here’s a clip that is yet more from the avalanche of uncredited HCwDB “inspired” douchebag comedy bits that makes your humble narrator itchy and annoyed (alls I ask for is a link/credit). This video came out late last year, but it is somewhat amusing. So hells, lets go for it on July 4th as a public service message.
That being said, major loss of points for mentioning the craptastic “The Dirty” instead of HCwDB.
Saturday, July 3, 2010Gino the Ginny Hits Jones Beach
Gino’s been around for awhile, and is trying to cash in on the “ironic” douchebaggery in the wake of The Jersey Shore, but this is still kinda amusing, with quality editing genius, on this weekend holiday with so many ‘bags at the beach.
Friday, July 2, 2010The Tang and Soshanna Run With The Goose
Do I smell an HCwDB of the Week finalist in this unholy pairing between sweet college student and Tang Douche? Yes. Yes I do.
Oh wait. That’s just my socks.
Stupid laundry detergent. That most certainly does not smell like a summer breeze.
Well. Maybe a summer breeze in Cleveland.
Thursday, July 1, 2010Ricardo's Shirt Unbuttons to "11"
For when you need that extra “Oomph” when hittin’ on the Calgary Canada doe-eyed hotties. Sometimes you just gotta take the unbuttoning to “11.”
Ricardo’s not there yet. But you’ll know it when he is.
Scarlett’s sultry stare, mixture of annoyance and sexiness that it is, causes my gonads to enflame and inspires a desire to compose an orchestral score and build a skyscraper in the hopes she’ll disdainfully ignore me at the subsequent cocktail party fête thrown at Lincoln Center in my honor.
Scarlett should be given an award for a gaze like that. It is the personification of the distinction between the sexes that renders gender roles essentialized.
Thursday, July 1, 2010Ricardo’s Shirt Unbuttons to “11”
For when you need that extra “Oomph” when hittin’ on the Calgary Canada doe-eyed hotties. Sometimes you just gotta take the unbuttoning to “11.”
Ricardo’s not there yet. But you’ll know it when he is.
Scarlett’s sultry stare, mixture of annoyance and sexiness that it is, causes my gonads to enflame and inspires a desire to compose an orchestral score and build a skyscraper in the hopes she’ll disdainfully ignore me at the subsequent cocktail party fête thrown at Lincoln Center in my honor.
Scarlett should be given an award for a gaze like that. It is the personification of the distinction between the sexes that renders gender roles essentialized.
Thursday, July 1, 2010The Tang
After weeks of pestering her in Bio II, The Tang finally won over Shoshanna Hottowitz by promising that the frat party would be “off the foshneezling.”
Shoshanna didn’t know what “foshneezling” meant. It couldn’t be Yiddish. The Tang barely spoke English as it was.
But Shoshanna was tired of dating Sheldon Epstein. And The Tang had a really bitchin’ Camaro.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010Bumps McGee
Kelly and Andrea rethink their decision not to have stayed home and finished that online knitting class.
EDIT: Speaking of bumps, the site’s a bit bumpy today but should be working now.
