HCwDB
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Sunday, August 2, 2009
Fan Mail: "yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass"
f’real writes in:
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Somebody needs to run up in herre and kick all yalls asses maybe if yall get a job instead of type on pictures you could pay to go out and have fun instead of mock people who do but whatever it dont mean shit to me yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass you talk shit about another one of my boys tho i will find this website and roll up in it with some hard ass muthaf&ckers and axe handles and pull this shit down. you think you cant be found but when you do the shit talk will end then, son
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I resent that. My ass is more a shade of light pink than red.
Sunday, August 2, 2009Fan Mail: “yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass”
f’real writes in:
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Somebody needs to run up in herre and kick all yalls asses maybe if yall get a job instead of type on pictures you could pay to go out and have fun instead of mock people who do but whatever it dont mean shit to me yall just a bunch a broke ass wannabes with a bus pass and a red ass you talk shit about another one of my boys tho i will find this website and roll up in it with some hard ass muthaf&ckers and axe handles and pull this shit down. you think you cant be found but when you do the shit talk will end then, son
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I resent that. My ass is more a shade of light pink than red.
Sunday, August 2, 2009Matt Stafford Pop Quiz
Matt Stafford is to Chuck Norris as:
A. Tight ends are to wide receivers
B. Mike Tyson is to Cicile Tyson
C. John Landis helicopter accidents are to pyrotechnic accidents on the set of Pepsi commercials
D. Ironic 1980s pop culture crutch references are to actually coming up with real humor when the DB1 is hungover and not feeling creative
E. Boobies are to ass pear
Saturday, August 1, 2009Super 'Baggio Responds
Super ‘Baggio responds in the Friday Haiku comments thread:
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yes its me, the guy in the pic. I just wanted to drop by and say hello and that I love the site! Even when i’m on it:) At least you guys provide some sense of intellect and education. Some of these comments actually made me laugh out loud! That is what differentiates this site from others. It is actually funny, and not a bunch of people leaving absolutely hateful comments about someones personal life, or family, etc….keep up the good work and keep the laughs coming! p.s. – i know longer have highlighted hair…im learning, slowly…but I am learning. you see, HCWDB can change lives:)
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Crap. Super ‘Baggion seems decent. And with a spectacular hott. Now what do I do? Well at least this pic is douchey. Mocking is still allowed based on the visual evidence.
Saturday, August 1, 2009Super ‘Baggio Responds
Super ‘Baggio responds in the Friday Haiku comments thread:
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yes its me, the guy in the pic. I just wanted to drop by and say hello and that I love the site! Even when i’m on it:) At least you guys provide some sense of intellect and education. Some of these comments actually made me laugh out loud! That is what differentiates this site from others. It is actually funny, and not a bunch of people leaving absolutely hateful comments about someones personal life, or family, etc….keep up the good work and keep the laughs coming! p.s. – i know longer have highlighted hair…im learning, slowly…but I am learning. you see, HCWDB can change lives:)
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Crap. Super ‘Baggion seems decent. And with a spectacular hott. Now what do I do? Well at least this pic is douchey. Mocking is still allowed based on the visual evidence.
Saturday, August 1, 2009The Side Order of Freakshow
So I’m at the Coffee Bean this morning to order my daily iced Americano, when the counter guy asks me, “Would you like a heaping freakshow douchescrote mugging a Betty Page with tight butt with your order?”
Excuse me?, I responded.
“Would you like a heaping freakshow douchescrote mugging a Betty Page with tight butt with your order? We’re running a special.”
So I had to say yes.
Because can you really say no to a question like that?
Friday, July 31, 2009Friday Thoughts and Links
A few points of order as The ‘Stachebagger gears up for Monday’s HCwDB of the Week.
This weekend, when I lose the hangover, I’ll be moving Bucky’s Kathy Hott to her well earned place in the Hall of Hott, and bumping Cheeto Man straight to the Closet of Poo.
Both have earned it through hard work, academic study, and lots of Red Bull.
Here’s your Friday Links:
This Ed Hardy Recipe Card is pretty accurate.
What recession? The Hamptonsbags are still partying.
“In my vagina two times he bites me!” But his teeths are very small.
My book is a guilty pleasure on Planet Tralfamador.
The HCwDB Wedding Ceremony? I actually think it was pretty hilarious. Here’s a Nottadouche and may it last more than five years (although I’m taking the under).
No matter what level of cool I achieve in life, I will never be Steve Buscemi in “New York Stories.”
And because I care deeply for your mental health after so many unholy hottie/scrotey couplings, here ya go, award winning Ass Pear.
Sail on silver girl.
Friday, July 31, 2009Smoot Operator
Your humble narrator is pensive on this foggy Friday morn.
Maybe it was too many bottles of Thunderbird last night, as I wandered delirious and confused after an angry philosophical debate with a mongoose who favored Nietzsche over Kinky Friedman. Stupid mongoose.
Maybe it was that extra package of Hostess Fruit Pie that I knew I should skip, but which called to me at 2am with its processed imitation fruit fruity goodness.
But this morning, after I milked the alpacas, fondled the goats and fed the gila monsters I’m raising for pelt, I had to wonder.
Is the silly cartoon belt buckle the new signifier of cartoonish transformation of masculinity? Do doofy skullz create “post-human?”
In the age of the Hardy Plague, is it the simple adornment of this new form of “crotch signifier” that communicates the power of the masculine ass pear fondlage?
I know not.
So I chaw some more original bubble gum flavor “Big League Chew.” For that always helps my ruminations coagulate.
Friday, July 31, 2009Ask DB1: "The Murse"
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Hey DB1,
I live in Vancouver which is sometimes referred to as “hollywood north” so while Van isn’t the douche epicenter that LA is, we do get our fair share.
I cant help but notice that, along with ed hardy/affliction/true religion jeans/etc many douchescrotes are fond of the man purse or “murse”. Basically a fanny pack wrapped around your torso that costs $800.
This falls right into line, along with manscaping, guyliner, tight-ass ts, piercings and accessorizing traits that the douche manifests.
Do you concur that “Murse” equals autodouche???
— Joe DoucheBaggio.
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Q.E.D. good sir. Quod Erat Douchemonstrandum.
Well argued, and we will add the Murse to the list of douchetributes to be tracked as we prep for the impending Ed Hardy Scrotocalypse in 2010.
Friday, July 31, 2009Ask DB1: “The Murse”
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Hey DB1,
I live in Vancouver which is sometimes referred to as “hollywood north” so while Van isn’t the douche epicenter that LA is, we do get our fair share.
I cant help but notice that, along with ed hardy/affliction/true religion jeans/etc many douchescrotes are fond of the man purse or “murse”. Basically a fanny pack wrapped around your torso that costs $800.
This falls right into line, along with manscaping, guyliner, tight-ass ts, piercings and accessorizing traits that the douche manifests.
Do you concur that “Murse” equals autodouche???
— Joe DoucheBaggio.
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Q.E.D. good sir. Quod Erat Douchemonstrandum.
Well argued, and we will add the Murse to the list of douchetributes to be tracked as we prep for the impending Ed Hardy Scrotocalypse in 2010.
