HCwDB
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Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy July 4th!!
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From all of us here at HCwDB, May your 4th be drunken and Boobie filled.
Well okay, it’s just me.
But I toast my Ubiquitous Red Cup of ‘Train to you, for joining me on this silly yet culturally revealing journey through the dialectics of hott and choad.
Remember to have fun, drink lots of PBR, and try not to think about dudes with Neck-n-Skull tatts and spiky chia hair hitting on Teutonic Sisters Hotts.
It’s hard. But you can do it.
Friday, July 3, 2009Independence Day Thoughts and Links
Random Friday Thoughts on this July 4th Weekend as we remember the Punctured Balloon and his bevy of Vegas Hott:
So if “underground” artists Shepard Farey and Banksy got in a fight, which 1980s ironic image would win? Mike Tyson’s Punchout? Or the Commando poster?
“We got both kinds! Country and Western!” With all this Michael Jackson nostalgia over the past week, it’s time to remember the true genius of that time: John Landis. He altered my childhood the way a child molesting uncle might. Only instead of fondling my pubescent peepee, I laughed a lot.
I’m off to New Hampshire to hang with nature and pretend there never were forty different brands of spikey hair gel in every Rite-Aid. So here’s your abbreviated Friday Links:
Joey from The Real World: Hollywood now has his own website. You can Win a Day with Joey. Next week, you can “Help Joey Pay His Rent.”
Speaking of disposable celebs, Megan Fox and 90210 Douche are making a strong case for a 2009 Douchie Award.
I get that retro-nostalgia works on a twenty year roll, but do we really have to nostalgically recall Hammertime?
Ed Hardy now sells toys to kids, including a Remote Control Pirate Ship. I’m torn between lamenting the garishness of our cultural decline, and wanting it.
And finally, say what you will about her annoying pseudo-celeb status, but we gotta give it up to Kardouchian Ass Pear. From a silent aesthetic perspective, those mounds is glorious.
Go forth and celebrate!! It’s drinkin’ time.
Friday, July 3, 2009Bucky Gettin' His Party On
HCwDB of the Week winner, Bucky, has ditched the hat-tilt and brought in the bros, the Goose and the Ubiquitous Red Cup to party this July 4th.
Kathy Hott brought her trampier sister, Layla.
Later, Bucky’s gonna show off his belly tatt, which reads either “Sexy God Does Blow” or “Must Love Dogs.”
It is on.
What are your plans for the 4th?
Friday, July 3, 2009Bucky Gettin’ His Party On
HCwDB of the Week winner, Bucky, has ditched the hat-tilt and brought in the bros, the Goose and the Ubiquitous Red Cup to party this July 4th.
Kathy Hott brought her trampier sister, Layla.
Later, Bucky’s gonna show off his belly tatt, which reads either “Sexy God Does Blow” or “Must Love Dogs.”
It is on.
What are your plans for the 4th?
Friday, July 3, 2009Friday Haiku
Morris and his Bleeth,
Too far gone to be rescued
Five fingers, all poo.
HCwDB in the News
Your humble narrator is slowing things down for the next few days. Because it’s vaca time for the DB1.
The third week of my show, Is She Really Going Out With Him?, is wrapping up on MTV, with 12 original eps having aired so far. The response has been great, all the craziness and creative battles were worth it. Not everything from HCwDB could carry over, but I have a show I’m really proud of. A show that’s silly and playful, and mocking the douches as they deserve to be mocked.
In other HCwDB news, my book has officially been optioned, and I’m hard at work this summer writing the script. While the show plays with real world couples, the movie version of HCwDB will be the journey of the book. My journey. And will have lots of boobies and Ass Pear.
But this weekend?
This weekend is for sitting back and doing jack-all squat. Scratching myself in inappropriate places. Rubbing my hairy-ass belly. Drinking cheap wines and consuming way too many calories of chemical Hostess goodness.
In other words, it’s just like every other week.
Thursday, July 2, 2009Dehumanism
The great humanist philosophers, going back to the ancient Greeks, believed that the process of search, the journey to know one’s truest self, was the ultimate act.
To find one’s place in the world through the pursuit of knowledge, education and an ethical code grounded in awareness and respect for humanity, and nature.
This guy makes me want to punch a poodle in the nads.
Thursday, July 2, 2009Vegas Douchery
Sign #23 you’re a Vegas ‘Bag:
When regaring Ass Pear up close, you still remember to tilt your hat.
Thursday, July 2, 2009Skull and Douchebones
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For centuries, young men would court and woo classical porcelain beauties with their poetry, their lyricism, their feats of chivalry and dexterity.
Now?
F@#k all that.
Just get a bad-ass skull-tatt on your neck.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009The Tiki Douche II
Even the Bud Light Totem Pole has to turn away in digust as Tiki Douche macks on another Boardwalk Hott.
Is T.D. making a strong case to appear in the HCwDB of the Week on Monday?
